Ex called my work again wanting to give me an update about how his dad is doing. He is so sad and tired and exhausted. He said his dad is not holding up well. We talked for a while. I was very consoling and tried to show a lot of sympathy. No mention of finances this time.
Last edited by TRUSTING; 08/08/0901:01 AM.
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
Ex caught word of it and decided not to pick my 15 year-old up for the funeral in hopes that I would then bring her. Can we say "playing games". My dad stepped in and took my daughter to the funeral. My daughter prior to going to the funeral told her father that she would stay at the funeral until 5 and then she would return home. She decided she did not want to go to the dinner. Well, OW called my daughter ranting and raving that she had a responsibility to go to all of the funeral (can you believe that). My daughter calmly told her that she would not be going to the dinner and she had no say so what she did or did not do. I almost grabbed the phone from my daughter to tell OW off, but refrained. Can we say drama. Anyway, my son informed me that ex was in bad bad shape. He was stressed out to the max and very nervous----I wonder why?
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
T, I'm sorry that your children are being treated badly admist all this sadness just in an effort to get at you. Good for your daughter for sticking to her guns.
Take care
Me 43 XH 45 M 2.7.88 Divorce 7.10.09 Kids D20,S17 & D15
Trusting, Well, although OW shouldn't have the say, I am inclined to think that the kids should understand that participation in the events honors their grandmother. I'm not sure if I would make an older child go. I might. But that's what your X should say, not OW.
Your X is under some extremely stressful conditions. His R is not good, he lost a family member, money worries, etc.. So of course he is very very stressed out.
I would not look at this as having anything to do with you. It's not. It is that H has to have OW play a certain role here that is generally reserved for family members, and his R is not good. Also, the stress of losing a family member takes a very long time.
I would expect an explosion from him, just because of where he is right now. At least I would expect it from my H. Just don't assume it's about you. If possible, it might be worth it to say gently "This isn't about me, and I am sorry about all the things that have been happening."
I do hope you had an after-hours goodbye.
M: 16 years Bomb 4/07 OW 20s long gone Divorced 11/09 I remarried New Guy Cooperative r w/X regarding D
Went to pick my daughter up at the funeral. Ex was at my car before it stopped. He had a folder in his hand that I assume was the child support papers he wants me to sign (this is a guess). I rolled the window down a little bit and said my condolences and said, "I'm sorry, I am really in a hurry and I gotta go." He looked stun. I really didn't care. I really did not want to be anywhere near him. Sorry I sound so bitter, this whole thing just sucks and has gotten to me. I really feel that I am totally detached from him. Once I get like this, I am not so sure I want to stand anymore.
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
Thanks forward, I need that reminder. Feelings are so fragile right now. All the loss and devastation. Life is so very fragile in more ways than one.
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
