Gabby!! I haven't seen you in a long time, or I didn't realize you were still posting. glad to see you and hope you are well!
B, I totally agree that you should never ask what is wrong. until he is a stable person with you, hopefully someday in the near future.
Well, because of his comment about keeping her full-time, That would be my thought, that if he is planning something, that is what it is. However, continue writing everything down like SO2 does, even write down that H refused to take K to class and you have to do it. Be prepared like FG said.
Quote:
At times I wonder if this is not what you really think. Lemme just say if you are living your life with "this" on your mind.. we might be "here" a long time. You have the power to put "this" behind you. "This" takes me back to.. "Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself." Why would someone say that? Why would I be pointing it out here? What can you do to.. Forgive?
B, to be honest, I was thinking the same thing. it's not like you want HIM, but you want that security, or that comfort and persona that you are WITH him. I know you don't want that life, and don't think that their life is wonderful because we all know it sucks. why do you think she's complaining and he's asking you for sex, STILL! that just boggles me.
Soooo, now what are you going to do. Let them wallow in their life, and YOU take charge of yours.
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
Its very tough to not react to thier crap. You have come so far and are entitled to some backslides here and there. You meant your vows, you loved the schmuck. Its going to be awhile before you are completely past this.
See how flawed he is? He has his perfect life yet still asks you for sex? yeah right! Perfect? Far from it!
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
Thanks Tomato. It's hard to cut off my communication with ExH. I have really been working on my control issues, especially trying to control THIS situation. But, I still have work to do.
I am still smiling today even though I found out that ExH is lying to OW about me and our situation/interaction. I'll explain in a moment.
M 5yrs 1st baby-girl born 6/18/08 Bomb: 10/13/07 OW - I was 6wks Prego H Moved in w/OW: 11/2/07 D Final 07/10 OW had his baby 3/17/09-so her Me, now - happier than I ever was with him
His comment about keeping her full time is a button he pushes when he's mad at me. He know it gets me everytime. So, he uses it to get me to fight. Gotta work harder on ignoring that BS. I have been writing everything down since day one. Even after we got the custody order, I continue to write EVERYTHING down.
Gotta let them waffle. I know that when she complains, I have the upper hand. I have the power because she is pissed off about something. Most likely, it's some lie ExH has told her about me or something I have done.
So, he has been exaggerating our interactions. Aparently, he tells people that everytime he sees me, we get into an fight and I tell him he is a bad dad. This time, according to him, I said he was a bad dad for not bringing her shorts back. WTH? Come on? Does anyone with one inch of a brain really believe that crap? Seriously. She must want, desperately to think that we hate each other and can't stand to be around each other at any given minute. Maybe that's how she pushes her mistrust of him away. If she can talk herself (or he can talk her) into believing that we can't stand to be near each other. Then, he would never make a pass at me. Right? She knows. I know she knows that he is untrustworthy. I felt it after a few months. How can she not feel it after a year and a half? I guess it doesn't fit into her fantasy world. That's okay. She can have the fantasy world. Now that I know what ExH is capable of, there is no way I could ever be happy in a marriage with him. I just would not be able to trust him. He lies waaaayyyy too much and he cheats constantly. He's alllll yours April.
M 5yrs 1st baby-girl born 6/18/08 Bomb: 10/13/07 OW - I was 6wks Prego H Moved in w/OW: 11/2/07 D Final 07/10 OW had his baby 3/17/09-so her Me, now - happier than I ever was with him
so, when are ya gonna stop reading her page??? hmmmmmm???? lol
it is crazy him still tryin to get you in the sack, or wherever he's wanting you. no bra? that's just funny.
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
He has to paint you as this mean, vindictive, shrew to OW and anyone else to justify himself. He gets more sympathy from her that way. He also doesn't want her to get insecure and start snooping where she doesn't belong. What an amazing day it was when OW and I put the puzzle pieces together....oh the lies he told.
Keep going! You are doing great!
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
SO2 - I know he has to make me out to be the mean one. Then OW won't even consider the possibility that he would ever try to have sex with me. He's clever that way. That's why he stopped propositioning me via text...probably realized she could get a copy of them if she wanted to. She is in law enforcement..kinda
M 5yrs 1st baby-girl born 6/18/08 Bomb: 10/13/07 OW - I was 6wks Prego H Moved in w/OW: 11/2/07 D Final 07/10 OW had his baby 3/17/09-so her Me, now - happier than I ever was with him
My exh stopped texting things that could be used against him later for awhile as well. He is sorta back at it. You gotta know OW is looking at bills, pockets, car, bank account...everything!
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
How was everybody's weekend? Hope it was well. Mine was weird, to say the least....
Daughter went to Dad's on Friday. He's been somewhat nice lately...odd.
Friday night, just hanging at the house watching tv. A friend of mine (male) calls and asks what I'm doing. Do I want company...sure.
He comes over..we talk about my sitch his old sitch..well, um....a couple glasses of wine later...we kinda hook up. Not going into detail and I will just say that we didn't "seal the deal". I am just soooo not ready. But, I have to admit, it was really nice to have someone who has known me for a long time and really made me feel nice for a change. So, I was worried it would be weird, since we are friends. But, I saw him today, and we are good so far. I know I am not ready for another relationship and I certainly DO NOT want him to be my rebound. He doesn't deserve that. I care about him too much. But, then Saturday morning, an old boyfriend calls me out of the blue after 15 years and leaves me a message that he wants to see me, has been thinking of me. And, I go to the grocery store last night and some really HOT guy is flirting with me.
Are my pheramones on HIGH?
Feels good, though. Nice boost for the ol' ego.
M 5yrs 1st baby-girl born 6/18/08 Bomb: 10/13/07 OW - I was 6wks Prego H Moved in w/OW: 11/2/07 D Final 07/10 OW had his baby 3/17/09-so her Me, now - happier than I ever was with him
YEAH!!! Hey, you are now a divorced woman. If you arent ready to date...then don't. But if you are, then see what happens.
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
