A Little Epiphany - (and a newbie delurking)

[mac-ct]

And we're all waiting holding our breath and turning blue

[Dia]

He didn't ask - but he acted hurt when I left. (??) Men - go figure.

Leaving was the right thing to do?

[givingitmyall]

Dia,

I think this is a good sign. He didn't act hurt b/c he wanted you to go. Think about it. We men still have that little boy inside us that pouts/gets feelings hurt when we don't get what we WANT.

You did the right thing by leaving. Make him miss you. Sounds like he will. Again, time is on your side.

[Faith2010]

I also think you did the right thing. Hopefully he'll miss you but either way, you did good girl!

[Dia]

Thanks folks - quick post tonight. I have only just made it home from H's place. While I was on the road, my mother called me saying my grandfather was ill and wanted to be taken to the hospital. Since I was already enroute, a small detour put me on their doorstep w/in 45 mins of her call.

Grampa is 86 and has become increasingly frail over the last several years. We (my gramma and I) took him to urgent care and they had him transported to the hospital by ambulance. I'll spare you the gory details, but this may be it for him.

For those of you with military backgrounds, Gramp was a Navy pilot in WWII, flying escort missions from Alameda to Manila and playing in the jazz band. His wings are pinned to his Navy ballcap which he wore into the ambulance.

Prayers, candles and good thoughts are most welcome.

[mac-ct]

Dia,

Good on you girl. You are so strong to have this lumped on you.

Getting out the personal bible now for Grampa, for your family and for you. And for H (and my W!)

Mac

[The Wifey]

I am on my way to church shortly, Dia. I will add your Grampa to my prayers.

[givingitmyall]

Same here.

[Dia]

Gramp is doing guardedly better today so we're in 'wait and see' mode. If he continues to improve, he could possibly be released Mon or Tues. If there are continued issues, there will be more aggressive intervention, likely including surgery.

Thank you for the prayers and good wishes. They are much appreciated.

[Dia]

Ok - back to the sexual banter from the last visit. I record these things here because it helps me to see clearly when I want to look at what's working and what isn't, or if I need examples to tell the DB coach.

So, Friday evening H decided we should have hamburgers for dinner. With 4 adults and two kids, this was a bit of an undertaking. He sliced up onions, tomatoes and squash while I made pudding and made the patties. He was appreciative of my help and the mood in the kitchen was warm, light and upbeat. He mentioned that he had used my Kitchen Aid mixer (at his house on loan) to make cookies with kidlet while I'd been gone, and that kidlet liked the dough hook attachment. Apparently, it's much easier to lick than the other ones.

H: It's not ergonomic; it's tongue-o-nomic.

Dia: Tongue-o-nomic? Oh my, I'm FAR too polite to swing at that lovely pitch.

H: (laughter)

Dia: (shows H the platter of hamburger patties)

H: Ooooh, thank you. Your round patties please me. Would you kindly take them to the deck with me?

Dia: (follows H to deck and sets platter on table) What else needs doing?

H: I'm not going to swing at that lovely pitch.

Dia: (laughing) ZING!!

H: Could you grab the buns?

Dia: Oooooohhhh! (slight leer in voice) I'm not going to swing at that lovely pitch, darling - and now we've probably worn that one to death, hmm??

H: (brandishing a grill spatula) Never! We've only just begun to pitch!

Now, this whole scene was accompanied by him grilling and me sashaying on and off the deck to bring various plates, ingredients, etc. It was the exact kind of vibe where I would have kissed him en passant or given his buns a squeeze. And we most certainly would have ended up in bed later that evening.

As it was, I withdrew a little bit from the banter because, well, those arse-grabbing urges were getting pretty darn hard to control!

He was still upbeat and cordial, but he seemed to pull back as well - but only just a little. We cleaned up together after dinner with him putting everything away and me washing dishes. He served me pudding and brought it to me, sitting with me on the couch talking while we ate.

When we were done cleaning up, I said I should be going. He told me I should "Do whatever is right for me" but his tone of voice was stung, hurt but hiding it, and he then retreated to his computer while I packed. There was no hug when I left.

Also, there's this movie that's extremely foundational to our relationship, The Princess Bride. Quotes from that movie are a private love language for us. He quoted a line from the movie at me when we woke up Friday morning. I have this feeling it was a an unintentional slip, though a good one, into our former patterns of interaction.

Another interesting tidbit - I just took all the messages off my phone from the last few days. What with being in interviews and the ER, I let a fair number of calls go to voicemail. There was one from H saying a) they were stopping at the store and did I want anything? and b) He and kidlet were going to a friend's house to watch movies that night.

Can anyone else see him twisting in the wind?