I know that you are right, but I can't tell you how controlling his Step-mother is of everyone around her. We always got along, I would just keep my mouth shut when she would pull the stunts with her other family members but this is totally insane.
I really believe she is holding him back somehow and I will not allow her to be in any more hearings that we may have. I told my attorney that already.
We have one coming up on the 3rd of August for our D's braces and I don't know if he is going to show or not but if he is there with them (his father and step-mother), she will not be in the room.
I've had it already. She puts this act on like she loves H so much all of a sudden since we separated and hardly bothered with him before so I know this is a game with her and a control thing. I just wish that he would realize what he is losing but I'm starting to lose all hope again.
Don't know what to do. Still not a word from him. Never wrote our D12 back or anything. Don't know whether to think it is the depression, MLC, or he just doesn't love any of us anymore. I'm so confused and upset. One thing I do believe his that his step-mother, the one that told me I was the best thing that ever happened to him is controlling part of this.
I'm so sure of that. Heck she pushed 3 out of 4 of my FIL's children away, they haven't spoken in years and he never even got to meet any of his other grandchildren. Only her 2 D's counted not any of his and they have been married over 30yrs.
I'm just so lost right now and could use some support.
How long did it take for your WAS to realize and want to reconcile? Just curious.....starting to get a little nervous because it is close to 9 months now.
And it will be almost 3 months without any contact from him at all.
Well there is a hearing that we need to go to for our D's braces, since there is no contact on his part I had to file for him to pay his monthly portion.
I'm a nervous wreck....I don't know how to act or what to do. Maybe he won't even show. But if he does our D's counselor wants me or my attorney to let him know that he can contact our D. We are thinking maybe his step-mother since she is the only one that went into the visitation hearing for contempt on his part told him that he isn't suppose to contact her. I don't know, I'm very confused but will let him know some how that it is fine for him to contact her and that she loves and misses him very much!
Any suggestions would be great....please advise! Thanks everyone!
At the hearing he was livid to say the least. I've never seen him so mad in my entire marriage. He said a lot of things that didn't make sense. Like he said to me and my attorney "You all got what you wanted". He was talking about the visits with our daughter. He called my attorney, our daughter's counselor, and me all liars and that we turned our daughter against him. My attorney tried to tell him that my H was the one that dropped the visitation and I don't think it even sank through! His anger has gotten a lot worse...I guess from them doubling his meds and then he stopped taking them. He was filled up, shaking, and yelling all at the same time!
I told him that our D loves and misses him and that she sent him a card and letter and he claims he never received it. I thought that is what he was going to say! Then he tells my attorney that the reason he stopped going to our D's counseling was because of an arguement that we had at one of her sessions (she wasn't in the room). I said to him that wasn't true, you came to the one after that one. He said "no I didn't". My attorney is now telling me to pursue the divorce since he is acting like this because he doesn't see any way that my H would want to reconcile.
I don't know what to do....he is not himself, he is sick. I want to save our marriage somehow. My H did say he will contact our D but was having a fit because she hasn't called him. I said we don't have your phone number and he in return said "you could have looked it up on the internet", I told him you can't just look up anyone's cell number on the internet.
I really don't know what to think anymore....do I give up on trying to save this M? Is my attorney right? I'm so confused.
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
Yes. I see my W once a week on Sundays for a few minutes when we exchange the kids. Other than that, she does not contact me unless it is directly related to the kids.
I'm doing ok. I'm still standing.
Thanks for asking,
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
sorry for what you're going through...you've spoken about your daughter's counseling appointments. What does the counselor say? Sorry, but this behavior doesn't really sound like depression, especially when you add in the insane stepmother. What grown person brings their stepmother to a hearing???
Please investigate information on personality disorders and discuss them with your counselor. I hate to say this fits a very sad and sick pattern. If you are dealing with something of this nature, or even something like depression, DB really has its limitations. Still you've received some good advice about detachment. But it's not really so simple when you're managing this kind of rampant instability.
Why was the D dismissed then? Is she thinking about reconcilation?
Hi Breakaway,
H's step-mother rules all! I totally agree that NO adult should bring their parents to a hearing but that is the way she is....pretends she cares about him when I know for a fact she doesn't. Just an act in front of his F. But I could just hear her now....I'm going and that's all that's to it. And even FIL is ruled by her. So they go. She calls all the shots even with her brothers and other family members. I have seen it so much in the last 10yrs.!
Our D's C said for them to just write to each other for now so that's why our D sent the card and letter but he claims he never received it. And she goes to the mail box every day waiting for a response. He said yesterday that he will be contacting her but I don't know what to think.
Her C said that Daddy is ill and until he gets better there is nothing that she can do for him. And that she needs to just worry about herself and be a kid. And hopefully he will get help and get better. We have an appt. coming up this week and I also put a call into her to see what she suggests I tell our D.
