I trusted my wife for 29 years after I found 100's phone calls back and forth in her cell call history with the manager of the supermarket. I haven't confronted him, but I did asked her to stop it. She did, I still trust her but I haven't stopped doing my "survillance" work. Don't give up. Verify and make sure there is not communication or contact of any kind AT ALL. This is month number 11 after the Discovery Day. Big positive changes had happened in our house and still applying what I learn with this amazing DB book. I sometimes feel like I should stop and let it go and forget about it. But this OP still the manager of the local Supermarket and I feel unconfortable. She is going to a different one. Sometimes we go together and sometimes I do the shopping myself. We even exchange cellular phones, she uses mine , I use her. So far so good, but I still dont' trust anybody until at least she admit it. Because like in Jman case, my wife said that was nothing, just some friendly phone calls. And by the way, the OM is married. At this point, I haven't expose the affair to the OMW. I don't know if I should do it...God bless all...and good luck!
Me:52 W:50 M:30 D:19S:27 Discovered EA:08/08 denied W insisted on D+ILYBNILWY:08/08 Exposed wrong OMW:10/08 Found exact OM's ID 2/09 Expose OMW son, not sure OMW knows yet 25 months after still a rollercoaster
Puppy, any advise on how do I do this? I know their home address. May I send an anonimous letter to her? What would you suggest. I don't have her phone number. I know where they live. Thanks in advance.
Me:52 W:50 M:30 D:19S:27 Discovered EA:08/08 denied W insisted on D+ILYBNILWY:08/08 Exposed wrong OMW:10/08 Found exact OM's ID 2/09 Expose OMW son, not sure OMW knows yet 25 months after still a rollercoaster
Hey Puppy or anyone? Did anyone ever consider leaving as a check to reality about the WAS who is having an EA? Does this work or not??? anyone have any experience with this?
M:35 W:36 M:10 yrs T:11.5 yrs C: B7, G3 ED: 3/09 DB: 3/20/09 Served 12-8-09 Still going through the process
It didn't work for me. If your WAW is deeply involved with OM, EA or PA, she will likely twist anything you say or do into supporting her own ends. She will see it only her way. Better to stay and stand your ground, not be seen as abandoning your wife/family.
Whoa that is not what I meant but anyway I am going to talk to my coach tomorrow and try a different strategy bc things have gotten worse. I was reading one of your other posts about EA's and like u posted on mine she needs to stop the EA before anything can go on in our relationship. Puppy how do I get her to stop the A?!!!
M:35 W:36 M:10 yrs T:11.5 yrs C: B7, G3 ED: 3/09 DB: 3/20/09 Served 12-8-09 Still going through the process
Jman, just wanted to offer my sitch as an example.
When I first discovered BF was cheating I tried being the better person and waiting for the A to burn itself out. This wreaked havoc on my self esteem. After a couple months of being separated in the same house I kicked BF out of the house. He moved in with OW and I assumed we were through. I was moving forward with my life and happy pursuing GAL activities. About a month later and no contact other than business related emails he started asking to come over and see me. I refused and he kept asking to come over to see the cats. He had moved into his own apt but was still seeing OW. I told him no contact with her was a prerequisite to speaking ith me. Eventually that happened and we started piecing in April. He moved back into our house a few weeks ago and things are going well.
You can go back and read through my threads for all the details, but just wanted to show you that drawing boundaries and enforcing them does work. It's different for everyone but for me, throwing the cheater out was the best thing I could have done for myself and for the R.
If you love somebody, set them free. http://tinyurl.com/2empx2g
