Sandi, You are right on about some Christians not walking in authority. Jesus never allowed the Scribes and Pharisee's run over him. He spoke the truth with authority and power.
I'm paying for my misconception of laying down my life for my W right now. There is a big different in laying down your life and allowing her to completely treat u like a piece of garabage.
The bad thing about my W is that her sister who is the lead singer in the church, also is just as bad. She gives her bad advice and wants her to be miserable. Her sister would tell me that I was the best thing that has ever happened to my W but tell my W that she could do better. I'm dealing with alot of two faced people in her family. She goes to a family church which can have its strongholds.
When my W first gave me her petition for D, she told me that I better get a lawyer. I told her that I have the best lawyer ever. I typed up scripture my petition and went over it with her. It was scripture concerning D. Since we are both "Christians", I thought I should make it known to be being her H. My W justified it by saying her aunts that go to church got a D. I did this during my begging and pleading stage, but I felt obligated to do this though. As I look back, I don't regret doing that. I think in order for my W to grow spiritually, she is going to have to find another church to attend. I felt lead to attend another church this past Sunday, and it was confirmed by several people that I would die spiritually if I stayed at my W's father's church. This subject is a whole issue in itself.
Sandi, you are right about my D2 being away from my W. I know eventually as my D2 aging, my W is going to flip out on her because she already can't discipline her now. All my W does is buy my D2 toys, and I mostly discipline her.
My W paints a beautiful picture of herself until people figured her out. She treats her friends like royalty. My W always tells they she loves them before hanging up. She would do anything for them. She really has her priorties messed up. When OM finds out how she really is, he will be in a mess.
"Suffering is painful but makes you a stronger person".
I know it must be very hard to understand these things as a young Christian. I would like to suggest something to you....as one Christian to another. I am very aquainted with "family" churches. In many cases, it is not a good situation. I can tell you that you will be hindered by this D and this family as long as you attend that Church. You really would be "free" to focus on your spiritural growth by going to a different congregation. As long as you go where her family members are attending, there will be contention. You will be so distracted by the trouble within the family (which will eventually run over into trouble in the Church) that you will not mature in your walk with Christ.
I believe you are as earnest as any young Believer I have had the privildge of knowing. I would hate to see Satan win the victory in your life. He may get "this" battle where your W and the M is concerned......but he doesn't have to win the war over your life on earth.
Take care, Sandi
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
I thank you for being a vessel that God can work through to touch the many people on this board. You are sharing the love of Jesus to so many people without having to say who you serve. Sandi, you don't have to tell people because they see the fruit...
Yeah, God warned me through several people that I would die spiritually in my W's church and also continuing to allow her to destroy my heart.
I'm doing great though...I joined my older brother's softball team and played in a game Weds night. It was also to GAL. It took my mind off of my W and allowed me to be around people that enjoyed me.
"Suffering is painful but makes you a stronger person".
Since the last two weeks, My W has been refusing to allow our D2 to spend time with my away from W's house.
W has filed for D and is trying to get full custody and completely take me to the cleaners. She even had they schedule to serve me at my workplace. All of this has angered me, but at the end of the day I still love her. I didn't realize how much I loved her until I found myself not being able to hold any of this against her.
A couple of days ago, I went to Ws place to visit with D2. Ws father mentioned that W is just reacting out of fear thinking that I will keep D2 and not bring her back. I explained to both of them that I could but didn't want to cause confusion etc. D2 was eager to see me and was crying wanting to leave with me. It was a horrible experience. W's dad mention that his heart's desire would be for us to reconcile and also that he mention marriage counseling to W. He stated that W told him that I wouldn't do it. The next day W sent me a text asking me would I consider marriage counseling. I explained to her that it would have to come from her heart. W sent a text back stating how do you know if it isn't. W has been so deceitful lately.. She could be trying to reconcile to throw out the Adultery complaint etc.
Yesterday, she was laughing and flirting with me as I spent time with D2. It really brought back memories of how we use to be, but she didn't mention counseling. I wasn't going to pursue her either. I went over her house after my Softball game. W made a comment about asking where I came from. She didn't know if I was working out or played a game. I think the GAL is working. I'm not being a doormat anymore and ultimately the respect is coming back.
As the D is looming, I will continue to work on me and make improvements.
"Suffering is painful but makes you a stronger person".
It sounds like you have made a vast improvement on yourself. Very glad to hear what you've accomplished.
I know you want to save your M. I think you've learned to be very cautious where your W's techniques are concerned. I would not give in easily to her requests. I agree that she should truly want very much to work on the M....and I have doubts she has reached that place yet.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
My W called me Friday on my day to pick up D2. She asked me if I would go to the movies with D2 and her to watch a movie that night. I told W that I wasn't going to go as a family due to her recently filing for D just weeks ago. I told W that I would do things as a family once she dropped the D and showed that she was serious etc. W stated that I rejected her and got off the phone being upset.
When I got off from work, I went to pick up D2 from W. She was going to deny me taking since she planned to take her to the movies. I explained to W that she should have taken D2 during the day before I got off. W asked me again to go to the movies and I further stated that I wasn't going. W ended up agreeing to let me take D2 to stay with me for the weekend after a long drawn out disagreement on things.
Today, I drop D2 off so W can get her ready for church. W intentionally was trying to seduce me by waking around me naked. I tried to leave several times so I didn't slip up but W asked me to help her get D2 ready. While getting her ready, W mentioned some romantic movie that is coming out in a fews days that she wants to see. W said that she didn't have a date and would take her mother most likely. She asked me if I would take her but I told her no.
My W is trying hard to get me to slip up. I'm very proud of myself though. W did look super hot though. I just tried my best not to look at her and act uninterested. She even asked me if I thought she was fat etc. I didn't answer that question. I still got in trouble for not answering anyways.
If she wants to really work on the M, she will drop the D and show me that she is serious. Plus I was just served the D papers on the 28th. Until then, I will continue on the single dad path.. Working on me and my relationship with God.
I tell ya... Deception will tear you up if you can't decern it.
"Suffering is painful but makes you a stronger person".
You mean to tell me that she was totally naked? How immature is that??
Listen, it is all about control with her. She wants full control over your life and she will use any means she has and will take your anger and any other negative reaction before she will take being ignored or outdone. She wants to have all the power over you and the child. If you have schedules visitation rights then she needs to stick by that. If she pulls this stunt again, don't sit around the house watching her and certainly don't "help" her when she gives her commands. Instead, just tell her you don't play her kind of games and that you are leaving.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Yeah Sandi, I totally agree. She is trying every trick in the book to gain power. She was totally naked...W was trying to tease me. I wasn't paying any attention to her.
Today I tried to call to check on D2 and W didn't answer her phone. I drove by the house, and she wasn't at home. Finally, she sent a text saying that she and D2 was out of the state with friends. She is very childish...
Last time I had D2, she was bringing up OM in front of my mom. It was horrible and ate me up inside. It is sad that she has to suffer for someone's selfish motives.
Thanks for your replies Sandi! I really appreciate ya...
"Suffering is painful but makes you a stronger person".
Yes, she is very, immature. I notice that whenever you are ignoring her that is when she does things to get your attention. She will even try sex if she thought you weren’t interested!
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Sandi, you don't have to tell people because they see the fruit...
I still got in trouble for not answering anyways.