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T- I am very proud of you for stepping back and seeing this for what it is. Great advice on here from so many.

Keep going friend- keep going. So so very proud of you!!

email me that unnamed website..curiosity has me.


M-20 years/BOMB 12/24/06
Moved out 3/12/07
D final 7/30/2008
finding myself again


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Ex has asked for adjustment in child support due to son turning 18. I expected it. Court date is set for October 29, 09. Long way off but it still makes me nervous. I can handle a little bit of an adjustment. Ex is trying to reduce it by 1800 claiming the economy has affected his income. He has not hired an attorney. He just petitioned the court.


Me: 46 H:44
Together: 25 years
Married: 20 years
Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07
OW: EA began 2005
PA began end of 2006
3 children,20, 16, 6
ex asked for forgiveness
01/16/11

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I know my attorney had told me, when child support ends supposal can go up...but i noticed my xs lawyer put in our papers I could not ask for an adjustment in spousal when child support ends....humm i didnt see that and dont recall my wonderful attorney pointing it out.....and to think there i was trying to figure out his budget...if he could make it and still pay me....OH wow.....so see if u have something in your papers like that....well good he didnt hire a lawyer....he is going to have to show proof....and also if he is living with his ow SEE IF THAT MATTERS....i for some reason remember my attorney asking that not form the moral perspecitive but finances and especially if he is supporting her....but seems like if she works too...hope he going to help you son with college

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T
It must be difficult for the mlcer
their world is so crazy
My xh is somewhat like yours
he is in a whirlwind..
then the new man enters the picture
mine doesnt know about my off again on again R
but he does know the focus is no longer on him
I agree with the others
they thought we would wait unmoved forever
maybe time stnds still for them
it is sad
especially for the mlcer and the kids
seems we all do find our way and it is better than before
I miss the old H
I dont see much of that man anymore
they seem to get so much worse as they travel the tunnel
peace


married 14 years
H 42
bomb 2/07 IDLYA
D final 3 /09
M ow D ow
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jeez' peace you said it so well. they do seem to get worse - or more distant. and yes i think you are right. Trustings x just keeps thinking she is her old self.. but she is a strong vibrant woman now!!

T- i don't know about ur state, just mine. he will have to "prove" the lower income and if you lived here it would have to be a SIGNIGANT (sp??) change.

Something I have been working on is this... remember WHO your true PROVIDER is ok? i know I know I know how hard it is. Just try and remember that HE promises to not leave us or forsake us. HE promises to provide our needs.. and I BELIEVE He will!!


M-20 years/BOMB 12/24/06
Moved out 3/12/07
D final 7/30/2008
finding myself again


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Decided to cut off all contact with ex due to his last abusive explosion.

Yesterday he called me 4 times.

So far today he knocked at my door at 9 am and called me at noon.

I can't play the game anymore. I don't want drama anymore. I need him to leave me alone.


Me: 46 H:44
Together: 25 years
Married: 20 years
Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07
OW: EA began 2005
PA began end of 2006
3 children,20, 16, 6
ex asked for forgiveness
01/16/11

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Posts: 1,666
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my counselor would advise you to do teh same.

you are using wisdom.


M-20 years/BOMB 12/24/06
Moved out 3/12/07
D final 7/30/2008
finding myself again


Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 2,549
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Went to pick up my kids at ex's. He met me at the car. He said, "when can we meet so we can settle the child support". I said, "I am not", I'll see you on Oct. 29." He is trying to get me to sign a paper saying that I will lower the child support 1800 dollars. How stupid does he think I am? I am about done.
He tries to be so manipulating. When I am with the kids he does not swear at me, yell, threaten, etc..... When I am alone watch out.


Me: 46 H:44
Together: 25 years
Married: 20 years
Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07
OW: EA began 2005
PA began end of 2006
3 children,20, 16, 6
ex asked for forgiveness
01/16/11

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Trusting,
You did well w/that conversation. He is trying to beat you down with the behavior, hoping against hope, that you'll finally throw your hands up and say "enough, I'll sign the paper". He obviously doesn't know you very well because you are standing your ground. Good for you!


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
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Trusting, The verbal abuse is scary and I think you are doing the right thing by holding your ground.


M: 16 years
Bomb 4/07
OW 20s long gone
Divorced 11/09
I remarried New Guy
Cooperative r w/X regarding D

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