total quarter life mlc

[mdoodles]

thanks, i hope today is better for u too...

i think u should go out this afternoon and get a manicure and a pedicure and a massage, if u can afford it right now, because it can really boost your spirits!

pick nice colors, happy colors!

it may sound silly, but it is a temporary mood lifter...

i will see my husband today, wonder what will go on, wonder if psycho will call, havent heard anything from her in 2 days.

i need to ask him about his job situation, if he has been looking, i need to address some bills with him.

i know it will be a dose of reality that he isnt looking for right now but it has to be addressed.

[Sanderika]

Good luck with your chat...remember to maintain logic.

Work your butt off to leave the emotion out of the conversation.

OH, ramp up the appearance. Give H an eyeful. Make it look like you got it all going on and together!!! The "fake it til you make statement", it's true!!!

Keep in mind OW must look ugly and aweful bad right now, desperation is not a pretty sight!!!

BE THE GREENER GRASS!!!

Will check back later today to see how it went.

Sanderika

[kissak]

Best wishes for a better day for both of you, Mdoodles and Sanderika!!

[mdoodles]

thanks guys...oh, i totally ramp up the appearance, alhtough i do it everyday, if he is here or not!

and i so know i drive him wild when he sees me....

[mdoodles]

guess who sent another text this evening ----psycho ow...i deleted it.

i called the phone company, she is sending the messages through the computer, to bypass the call block on my phone.

she actually sent the message while he was here, im so mad i didnt hear my phone beeping, it was in my pocketbook!!!!

i called my husband when he left to tell him, he really had nothing to say, basically said, what do u want from me, change your number...

i told him i delete the messages, i dont understand why im still getting the messages at all...

i really dont want to read them, it could only upset me more.

do we all agree they must not be in paradise?

[kissak]

Mdoodles, I dont know how much you text, but can you take texting off your phone all together for just a while...maybe long enough for her to get the point? I know you shouldnt have to change things for her but maybe just for a few weeks?

Honestly whenever my H's OW texted me, all I could do was laugh at it....sometimes I answered her, but sometimes not. I thought how immature and it kinda made me happy that they seemed to be having problems.

[mdoodles]

i never thought of taking the texts off the phone. interesting.

actually, right now, i say let her keep trying to make contact.

this way, if she keeps it up enough or makes any threats, i can get her on harassment, which i cannot imagine would be too good for her status in our country.

i attempted to discuss bills with h, didnt go very well. lol.

i got the "leave me alone with this".

i wonder if he is this cranky with psycho ow when she questions the status of our divorce everyday lol.

whats funny is i so know how to talk to him, totally dont put the bills on him, i make it OUR concern. and i still got nowhere.

he had a dose of reality- he was unaware until yesterday that our house is published in the newpaper under the foreclosures, even though we are trying to get the bank to accept an offer.

for effect, i packed some boxes while he was home because i dont think he feels the real weight and reality of it. perhaps seeing me packing made it more real.

who knows.

[Sanderika]

Hi mdoodles....

I guess as far as the bills go....Don't remind the "avoiding" H verbally about them. Leave them out where H can look at them. H WILL LOOK. He will discuss it when he is able. Keep in mind he is aware and to keep reminding H about the problems in your home is driving him back into the tunnel. H will avoid to escape.

This is sooooo hard. Take the burden on alone. It's what I did. Try really hard to put the bad aside when H is there. Let the house and your little boy be Hs haven. He's getting enough storm with the "P-B". Give him a place of escape.

I am going to say it again. Read the texts. Start a journal only of the texts and calls from "P-B". Document times and dates and content or lack thereof. You need to be aware of her level of crazy. Only for yours and sons safety.

If H is annoyed by the constant mentioning by you then stop mentioning it. Keep the journal on the counter and let H look, when curiosity gets the best of him he will mention it. Start letting H mention things in H time when H ready to discuss them. You are better off to let him initiate a conversation, he will be more open to a discussion if it's his idea.

You could ramp up her anxiety by answering the phone when she calls and simply just say "I am so glad you called, you have a wonderful day" and hang up. She will boil. Keep up the appearance that she isn't getting to you. She will freak out and H will hear all about it, boy will he. He won't know what hit him when she is through.

Maybe if you can't beat her, join her at her own game, only mdoodles isn't going to be nasty or psycho, mdoodles is going to be sweet as honey!!!!

I wonder if this would stop her too if she knows she isn't getting to you. Just a thought. It would be funny to see her reaction.

I have posted a story about a friend whose D was final last friday on my thread. You might find it interesting.

Have a great day mdoodles. I hope something changes for the better for you.

(((((HUGS)))))

Sanderika

[mdoodles]

the things is - i cant ignore the bills or take them on - i am a stay at home mom!!!

believe me, i have ignored as much as possible, let things sit on the back burner, but not my cable bill or electric bill or income taxes!

up until now, everything has been paid for. minus the mortgage over the last year, my bills are covered by him. so now, when he is slipping because he is unemployed, i am on him because its not ok since i see his car has not been reposessed, meaning he is paying it.

i leave the bills out, mentioned them in a nonthreatening way. he didnt pay them this week so i did make the payments, photocopied the bills and my check from my personal funds, documented it and sent it to my attorney for my file.

i may appear as a doormat in terms of my love for him, may appear to be part of the love triangle, may be fighting for him that way, but i am in no way stupid or going to keep my head in the sand in terms of finances.

whats funny is that i dont think he has any clue how i have documented over the past 18 months, no clue that have organized and stored all of the information, in a timeline with receipts!

hey, i cant let go just yet but if push comes to shove, i will be armed to protect myself!

[mdoodles]

in terms of the texts from ow, i just dont want to read them! i may forward to a friend...

i started a file and listed all calls and texts...

came home last night and saw private calls on the caller id. no messages and no one i know...