total quarter life mlc

[mdoodles]

thanks for caring sanderika! i appreciate it.

my inlaws are well aware of everything, my mil is my best friend and ally in this situation. and he knows it.

the phone company told me i needed to do an update on my phone, that was why she was able to get through with the text.

she may send texts all the time and since i have her blocked they dont get through. this one did though.

id love to know if they are fighting. i like to think they are.

we never fought, let her keep flipping out, let her keep lashing out and questioning things.

all while i lay low and quiet and friendly.

[Sanderika]

There you go....mdoodles,

YUP, lay low, quite and friendly.

You be the greener grass!!!!

Anew2moro once told a poster(LBW) to be the OW. I kind of like that statement. I have thought of myself many times just like that. Kind of funny, huh?

Eventually their shine wears off. They will show their true colors and when they do H won't be finding them so pretty. I hear it through the grapevine all the time that my H and his OW fight all the time. Like you I can't say that we did.

Keep your chin up girlfriend. Have a good week.

Sanderika

[glamgirl]

Geez ow stalker how crazy is that. I find that behavior just crazy, like they haven't done enough destruction as it is.

Be careful and don't allow her texts and messages get to you. Be silent. She is a wack job.

[mdoodles]

havent heard from crazy girl since that text, im thinking she is trying to provoke me and get me to call her and respond.

not going to happen.

i have bigger things to worry about right now, like where we are going to live when my house is taken from me.

the best i can do right now to plan for it is to have the house cleaned out and packed up.

so that is what im doing. i walk around with a bag everyday looking to throw things out.

i have sorted through the toys, keeping half and looking to sell half.

my husband needs a job. im not one to push or pressure or even question too much, but i need to stay on top of him with the job thing.

he is a workaholic. i cannot imagine he isnt looking for a job but who knows with a mlc mind.

[Stronger]

Have you thought about a restraining order?

[mdoodles]

ive thought about it, but wont pursue it, atleast not yet.

if she ever actually shows up here, i will...

i do not plan to take her calls, but if for some reason it occurs and depending upon what she says, i will...

i have bigger things to worry about right now than a 22 year old psycho ow from another country.

[Sanderika]

Hello mdoodles,

Thanks for posting on my thread.

I am happy you have reported that "P-B" hasn't made contact since the last time.

In my State we can put a PFA Order (Protection from Abuse or Restraining Order) on a family member only. Otherwise here we have to file a Legal Complaint (like sueing) for Harrassment on any other individual. It has to go to court the way any other case does and in some cases a trial. I never considered that as one of my options when the OW assaulted me because of the complexity it involved here.

Do you think H said something to threaten her in regards to her very bad behavior?

If your H is a work-a-holic I am sure he is looking. I married one also and it would drive him stark raving mad to sit around.

Does your H tell his parents any news about the job hunting. You said you are best friends with MIL, maybe she can keep you informed so that you do not appear to be a nag with H.

I know first hand it will drive them away if they think they are being nagged about something from us. Let your home be a safe haven for H from the MLC and the storm we all know as "P-B".

I am sorry you have to move. I can only imagine how hard that is. I have lived in my home for 25 years now. Moving out is a fear of mine. I know I will not be able to afford the property if we D. I worry about it all the time so I can only sympathize
on that note.

Lay Low, Be Quiet and Remember Friendly, Friendly, Friendly.....

Have a good evening....

Sanderika

[mdoodles]

i do not know if he said something to her, im more wondering what is setting her off these days...

losing my home is a huge deal to me, it is very painful...we moved in here right before he went nuts..3 years.

we worked so hard to get this house and put in over $100,000 in renovations.

i have lost all equity and am praying right now they dont take it in foreclosure. i am waiting for the bank to accept a crazy low offer i received.

i do not know where i will be moving to. its so weird to have gone from having it all, to have not too much left.

thank g-d he was not able to touch our 401k. its all we have left and i will be fighting for the entire thing if things move forward legally.

my mil claims to not know anything about where he is looking workwise. she told me she gave him suggestions.

who knows.

[mdoodles]

im feeling down today, i have been doing so well, maybe its normal to have a setback.

i havent seen h since friday, maybe that has something to do with it.

now that he isnt working, i dont talk to him in the same routine, we used to talk every morning, he would call at like 7:00 am.

then he was home and i was seeing him everyday.

its hard, now he calls in the afternoon, i barely get a word in because my son takes the phone.

i realize i shouldnt be focused on him, but today and yesterday i seem to be moreso than usual.

i think sometimes the weight of the situation hits me.

my house is foreclosing and where is he? does he feel the emotional effects of it, besides the financial effects?

he caused all of the damage to us financially and where is he?

and why has she been calling? what is up over there?

and the big one that hits me is - will we ever really work out? will he ever come home again and will he end up leaving again? what am i holding on to?

[Sanderika]

mdoodles I am with you....right exactly with you.

I am low too. I think YES, we have setbacks. I also know when I have a setback H is the trigger in some way. Either through contact or no contact. I am on a high when we have a positive contact and then I get low....very low with no contact.

What you are feeling is aweful, but normal I think. We love them and we are hurting for them. We have to keep it in mind that we can't fix these problems for H. They are theirs alone. All we can do is be here, if and when they reach out to us.

The burden of these problems is heavy and for the most part we are alone to carry on with the burdens. Our homes (yours in foreclosure, mine in maintenance), raising our boys, lack of financial security and funds, our H's and the burden of the unknown with what they are doing in our sitch.

Others here say to live "as if". GAL, don't think about them, don't worry about them, well it is g-d hard. It's not like we aren't a player in the problem. We are directly involved because it's our problem too. H's made it our problem. I have never had such a big problem in my whole life.

Your H is in avoidance mode of the problems. He is avoiding. He doesn't have the resources or ambition right now to fix anything. He is most likely depressed because of the recent problems along with the failure of the store. Your H can't see the light of day he has dug his hole so deep.

I think leaving them alone to solve their own problems is the only way to go. They will be forced to do something. Men like to solve problems. These are so huge they need to face them alone to come up with their own answers. Let's just hope they come up with the right answer, sooner rather then later.

Your last questions....are mine as well. I think of the questions 24/7. I am in constant turmoil. I am having trouble sleeping and eating again and I know it's the upcoming court date causing this in me.

I haven't spoken to my H since Monday. OW is at the office with him today. I am alone. I have work to do this morning, this afternoon I have nothing planned. I am feeling very bad about my sitch right now. I am thinking H is going to do nothing to improve on it in the next 15 days.

Keep in touch....I hope today is better for you.

((((HUGS))))

Sanderika