total quarter life mlc

[job]

It's not you that she's trying to get at, but your h. She knows that if she continues this childish behavior, you may very well get disgusted w/your h about it all. Also, it could be that she's trying to get him to pick up at your house. There is no logic behind the calls except to aggravate you and your h.

Have you thought of getting an unlisted/unpublished number? The only way that she will get the number then is from someone you know. If you put a block on your phone, it should hold. Is she impersonating you as well? Identity theft in the making?

They really do feel threatened by us, don't they?

[mdoodles]

totally threatened by us, totally.

i may change my cell number, but she will get it because she searches his phone.

she so doesnt trust him, as well she shouldnt!!!!

i could put the private call block on the home phone, i had at one time, but i then unblocked it, to show h how often she was calling.

she is definitely trying to get rid of me, make me so frustrated that i walk.

not happening. i hate that im in this game, but he is my husband, i want my family and i want her gone!

i realize right now that he is no prize, not who he was. he is unemployed, a cheater, in debt and in crisis.

but, he is my husband and i love him and i believe in him.

he is only 29, so much time to grow up and recover, if he chooses to do so, and i would like to be around for it assuming it happens.

i hope it frustrates her even more that i do not lower myself to her level and call her back to rant about the hang ups.

[Sanderika]

Hi mdoodles.....

I have been following along....I had to depart from posting for a bit...I do this when I feel I am developing a "bad attitude". I come to the boards for support and advice and to offer some and then end up frustrated by reading all the posts. It really hurts me so much to see all the people out there with troubles like ours. When I escape from it I can re-focus on my stand and it gives me time to think about all the posts and advice and opinions. I am not sure if this makes any sense to you....

I too have been the victim of the OW calling and harrassing me...

Once I started to share her verbal phone message attacks with H, they stopped.

Since OW's line comes up as a private caller, do you know her #?

If so.........

I would not stand for it...Put a # block on your land-line. Change your cell #, don't share it with H, be sure to explain the reason why. H has your land-line # tell him until this activity ceases you would appreciate it if he reaches you through that avenue.

If H is reasonable at all he will understand the frustration this is causing you and he will not be angered by your decision, he will support it instead.

You do not have to live with harrassment. He should not want you or son to either.

I think this will cause her even more frustration and anxiety.
AND, who cares if it does, right???? She isn't deserving of any
courtesy or respect. Block her from your existence.

Be sure you are careful at home too...read on....

I hope she does not know where you live. These "Psyco-B*tches"
are low life enough to come knocking when they become threatened.
Please keep all your doors locked even in the middle of the day. Keep your car locked in the yard too. If she is like the "P-B" in my sitch she will get macho enough to show up when you least expect it.

The OW in my sitch came to my home once and threatened me, that was back in Nov. '06. It was election night, I was watching the returns. It was 10:10pm. My son was in bed. She used forceable entry to get into my kitchen. Yes, I had opened the door-I didn't expect it would be her. I live in a very small town-all friendly. I could not keep the door shut against her strength. The OW has about 7" in height over me and about 60-70 lbs. Before I knew it I was being pushed around and verbally assaulted with vulgar swears. Son heard it all. I ended up being punched and tossed down a set of granite stairs and a broken finger with lots of bumps and bruises. She went on to break a window in my truck. Her big complaint for the evening:
"STAY AWAY FROM MY BOYFRIEND" YOU heard me....YUP!!! "STAY AWAY FROM MY BOYFRIEND". OMG!!! OMG!!! OMG!!!

Just one of many stories I could tell...It's been a long 47 months!!

You see the MLC of these H's take them from here into the lives of women like these. They cannot see the devastating destruction and unhealthy alliance being with these trollops causes.

It truly takes time and repetition of destructive behaviors by the OW, along with patience and love and compassion, forgiveness and kindness and time from us to enable them to see through the fog to a place where they can be comfortable again. With hope it is with us and not with another OW. They WILL NOT stay with these OW they are with right now. I truly believe this. Their days are numbered.

I think they would return home if they were guaranteed in some way that things were truly different here at home. They want to come back but not to what was....

I am sorry you are being harrassed...I have been there. Look at it that she is only digging her own grave. Her true colors are really ugly!!!!!!!!!

Take care, my thoughts are with you....

Sanderika

[mdoodles]

thanks sanderika, im so sorry for what u have been through.

i know u are struggling with the court date. i hope it goes well for u.

as for ow in my situation, i often wonder if she will show up here. it is far for her, but i do think it will happen at some point, surprised it hasnt yet, but it may be because she always believed him that we were legally separated or divorced.

she is blocked from my cell phone, may still change it.

she comes up private at home, i can block all private, which i have done, now i keep the block off to keep track of when she calls. i do not talk to her.

yesterday, got a weird restricted call on my cell with a voicemail.

i have a thing about hearing her voice so i have others check and see who it was.

my mil checked said it was someone talking in spanish.

i dont believe it, i think it was her or her sister or her friend.

i will see what the day brings.

she is definitley feeling insecure, even more than before.

my doors are always locked, alarm on most of the time.

i do not open the door, ever. i look out from an upstairs window.

i often say i will get a letter in the mail from her using magazine lettering glued together to send her message!

[mdoodles]

i was just out for dinner with my parents and i got a text from psycho ow!

i deleted it without reading it. im on the phone with my cell provider to find out how she got past the call blocker.

its one thing to get calls at home, another to get calls/messages when im out with other people.

i havent called my husband yet. dont know if i should.

clearly something is up.

[Sanderika]

Hi mdoodles, I am so sorry you are experiencing this. The OW is sick.

The OW is determined to drive you away. Her aim is to make you angry and sick enough of the sitch that you volunteer just that.

If I were you I would have read the text. Knowledge is power and you will gain some insight as to the emotional stability of the "P-B".

You need to be prepared to take it to authorities if you have to.

In the future please read it no matter how upsetting it might be to you. If you really cannot, have someone else read it before deleting.

IMO your H needs to also know OW is still harrassing you.

I agree with others she wants you out of the picture. She is getting desperate if she is making contact several times a day. She is showing her emotional instability and I think that could be dangerous. Please let as many people know as you can that this woman is doing this.

After the OW in my sitch assaulted me, I called the State Police. I also wrote an email to my mother and gave her as much information as I possibly could about her. Full Name, DOB, Address, Tel Numbers, Vehicle Registrations...YUP, all of it. I became my own PI. I made it my business to know all I could about her. I also wrote in the email that should anything happen to me or my son, she would most likely be the person
responsible. I also wrote a brief paragraph explaining her connection to me.

I don't trust some of these OW....I think they become obsessed out of desperation. Each having their own reason for wanting our H's so badly.

As you read these posts....there isn't an OW in any sitch that actually is not threatened by the wife. As I see it they would rather see us dead than have to live with our existence in our H's lives. They are jealous and will fight and fight dirty.

I am concerned about your's and son's welfare now...

Watch your back even closer than before. She may end up stalking you. I don't want to scare you, she is a nutjob. You cannot predict her behavior now.

Stay focused on dealing with this. Tell others tonight what is going on....

Take care and (((((HUGS))))),

Sanderika

[mdoodles]

thanks... i am always careful, i like to think she wouldnt venture all the way out here, but u never know.

i also live next door to my in-laws, perhaps that keeps her away too...

i really have no interest in reading what she writes, it may have been a picture she was sending me, i dont need to see it.

i have read messages from her before, telling me to leave them alone, asking me to talk to her or messages that responded to texts i sent my husband to his phone.

i spoke to my husband, told him about the messages and told him i deleted it before i read it, that all that mattered is who was sending it.

i spoke with my phone company, they have her listed as a blocked number.

i have documented information and sent it to my attorney.

im assuming she is having some trouble in paradise. maybe she should try dating someone that isnt married.

[kissak]

I think they would return home if they were guaranteed in some way that things were truly different here at home. They want to come back but not to what was....

My H actually said this....he would come home if there was a guarantee that it would work.

Wow, Sanderika...You seemed to have had it bad with your H's OW. I can say that the only way my H's exOW harrassed me was by leaving little messages on her Mspce page...just to let me know how happy she was and how pathetic I was. She was very threatened by me...even would text me at times wanting to know the truth. She never trusted my H. With good reason.

I wonder what would happen if we picked up the phone and told these OW that they could have our sorry no good cheating h's if they want them...if they are that desperate for a man....would they still want them if they werent in a competition with us for them? I believe after awhile the excitement would wear off...my H's OW would always start some kind of drama if things were going good with them...its like the drama excited her.

Be careful Mdoodles with this OW, which I know you are being careful...just you never know what people are capable of.

[mdoodles]

i have talked to her and told her the truth many many times. i never told her she can have him, i just told her the whole history of the time they have been together, including what i was told during that time. i did a pretty good timeline for her.

either she believed me and didnt care, or didnt believe me yet thinks often of what i have said.

regardless, she told me that MY divorce was almost final back in may.

perhaps now that it is july, she is seeing the truth...finally?

who knows. all i know is all week i have been dealing with her using my phone number to send him messages one day, getting hang ups at home once a day, a weird message yesterday and a text today.

[Sanderika]

mdoodles,

The OW is clearly then using a different phone # to contact you from.

There is not going to be any stopping her.

Changing all your numbers and not sharing with H is most likely the only way to stop her. That is not a good option. H needs to have a way to contact you if for no other reason than your little boy.

More important now to let others know she is doing this crazy behavior. Your In-Laws living next door, are they aware of exactly what is going on in your life? I think they should be, if you haven't already told them. They will keep a watchful eye out for you as well. I am glad you told H, trusting him to take care of the problem you can't. He needed to know just the same.

I think you have a good handle on the severity of this problem.

I am still going to worry about you....

Sanderika