Doc, I have to agree with the swimsuit conversations. We, women certainly have issues of wearing swimsuits in front of others. She may want to check out a skirtini. It's a two piece swimsuit, it has a tank like top with a matching skirt with built in bottoms. I wear one and most of my friends do, just because they are stylish and cover our "assets". Even my small friends wear them. Not many ladies who are happy with their bodies...
Here is a cute one. http://www3.jcpenney.com/jcp/X6E.aspx?DeptID=50434&CatID=51410&GrpTyp=ENS&ItemID=157c1e8&attrtype=&attrvalue=&CMID=50434%7c50446%7c51410&Fltr=&Srt=&QL=F&IND=13&cmVirtualCat=&CmCatId=50434|50446|51410
I think you probably got the picture from what the girls have been telling you on here about the swimsuit thing by now.
When she did what she did with OM whilst 'posing' for the photo's she probably felt like she did when she knew him when she was much younger. When she actually saw the photo's I am sure she felt really bad. You need to forget them.....and if my memory serves me right hasn't she put on more weight since then?
I am a size 4/6 US size and I have trouble wearing a swim suit. I feel as though my stomach is ugly from having kids and I have stretch marks etc. My H say's he worries because I am too thin but I don't see it. What I see are my beautiful D's next to me with their flat stomachs and lovely skin....and I feel so old and ugly. So what if my H likes what he see's.....I don't, and I worry what other people are going to think when they see me.....it just makes me uncomfortable.
This is going to be a hard nut to crack with your W.
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
If it's 100 degrees out there, I'll go swimming in a nightgown! who cares what you where, no one sees you in your own backyard. And, if she spends some time in the pool (maybe when you are not home, if she is so embarassed), her body will start to firm up. Just getting pale skin tan makes it look better anyway. My motto for the summers is "It all looks better when it's tan." So, get out there in something small and get the sunshine!
THanks everyone, Well things are going good. Not moved back on "our" room yet but things are nice. I am learning too. I am learning to...........Well not detatch......but not be Clingy or dependent for lack of better word. like today.. I was working out in the yard all day and wife went shopping for some "pool stuff" with our son. WHen they got back the both had an Ice Coffee. IN my mind I thought "I want one" and in the past I may have said something. But today I didn't. I started thinking I would not want wife to Pick me up something just becasue."I know he will be upset if I didn't" I would rathere her get me something "just because" Ok enough with the bathing suits I understand. Anyway the weather for the next week is only going to get into the 70s. Only of the solar heating thing I rigged up works will the wife or I get in that pool. As for our son? as long as there is no Ice ontop he'd go in. take care everyone and have a safe and sane 4th.. (Sorry Saffe)
Doc.
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
Saffie... Im with you. I also think the same as you. Although I don't have daughters to compare to, but Totally understand.
My h is so visual, I worry that once I do get old he won't be interested anymore. That's why im so worried about my relationship with him just being physical. I actually dwell a lot on it.
most times I don't think he actually loves me for me and who I am, just what I look like and the sex that comes with it.
Sorry doc to hijack your thread...
im glad things are going well.
me: 37 H: 44 Married for 18 years this june S7 S3 porn issues, and much more... since 7/06
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
Ok so where do I start?.. Things are ok. Well I am kind of on a holding pattern. Things between wife and me are great 75% of the time. She offered to take care of the paperwork for the medical and my unemployment because she knew what to do since she already went though it herself. I had no problem doing it but this seemed to make her happy to do it for me. I am excited about going back to school.(but do think I should look for a job instead) but since everyday more people are losing their jobs around here maybe by the time I am out of school the market will be up. I have a 7 month course for a certificate or 15 month for a digree.If I can get the loan. (I will find out Friday I want to go for the degree I have been keeping busy. I seem to do this when things are on my mind.. But I am not sure what I am worried about. I know things will work out. One big change I have made (and it may have been the wrong time to do it) is I no longer ask my wife when I want to buy something. This always bothered me. She would go out and buy something and never would speak with me before she would buy something. I am not saying I am going out and buying a car... But did buy me a new chain saw, I bought some things for my jeep, and I bought that pool.... So anyway before I was "laid off" I was talking to wife about how I would have time to go places with her and our son this summer. Well two days ago she asked about going to Alcatraz Island. She asked me if I wanted her to buy the tickets.(last time we tried to go there the tickets for that day were sold out) I told her no I could do it. So I did. I made the reservations for July 15th. She said that day is fine. Now she has not said anything but that is our anniversary. I am planning on making it a "tourist" day in San Fran. We are also going to the wax museum. I have been sleeping in till 5:00am (still by myself) but something weird happened last night. I have been fabricating a new light bar for my Jeep and it was 11:00pm. Wife came out in the garage and told me good night... What I am trying to say is she did not jut go to bed... I have also been spending allot of time out at my wood pile. I have about 8 cords of wood split but the temperature around here has changed. It has not gotten about 75 here and if it does not the wood will not cure in time to sell this winter. The temp things figures since I got the pool.....
Ok well I need to get to bed. Will report more later..
Doc
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
Slowly but surely....interesting she told you she was going to bed....maybe could have followed her there?
It’s a cat and mouse game Wdid. She acts like she is interested and then if I take the bait she closes down again. But things are waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay better than two years ago. I think we are almost at the point that I can start doing some of the things OT has been nagging me about for a while..
Journaling, well I got up and went to do some volunteer work at the soup kit ion. I figure I should work there before I am going to have to start eating there. (Just Kidding) I have volunteered there before all this happened. Then came home and cut the lawn and worked on my jeep the rest of the day. My D. came over to use my computer and told me her BF had a ball game tonight if I wanted to come by. This is something I have not done since my son lost interest in the game. So after dinner I told wife I was going to the game. She asked “Ball Game?” I said “Ya D’s BF has a game tonight.” she said “ok” I know this puzzled her because it is not something I would normally do. I have found that every time I do something “out of the ordinary” Like stay up late working on the jeep, going places mid day,(even though it was to MIL house) she gets interested. I am hoping to peak her interest soon because I am back and forth from losing interest in keeping this marriage going. Now don’t worry the “lack of interest” does not last long but I can not honestly say that “others” in the out side world are not starting to Peak my interests. The New Doc keeps evolving. Can’t wait for our trip to THE ROCK. Somehow I get this feeling that this may just be the turning point. Well got ta go.. Will write more soon.
Later Doc
P.S the jeep is looking HOT. Built a customized Light bar today and cleaned it up… It’s becoming a babe magnet…. Bye
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
Ok grab some milk and cookies.. This may take awhile....
Sooooooo Much is going on... It all started with the GF that shot the Football player she was having an AFFAIR with because she thought he was cheating on her. Well I started reading this out loud to wife. When I was reading it I THOUGHT his GF had shot him. I did not realize he was MARRIED.. Wife told me she heard about it and he has 4 kids or something. I asked "He's Married?" she said "ya" Now I don't remember exactly what I said but it just came out kind of automatic.. Something like. "Why do these people have affairs knowing it will destroy their families?" Wife did not say anything in response but I noticed ever since that moment she started acting a little different. Like we were friends again. More lively, more cheerful. Weird but also some shows we were watching affairs came up. I think this may have got her thinking. So anyway I went to see how much schooling is going to cost me well its $12.000 for a degree but only $5.000 for a cert. The cert can apply to the degree if I want to go on so I am going for the Cert. right now. Monday I am going to see if I can get a job retraining loan. I LOVED the college. I mean there were college girls, nice patios, people walking around smiling with a purpose, College girls, study halls, Cafe, College girls.... No really I did get kind of jazzed about going back to school. When I got home I waited for W to ask me how things went. We sat down at the table and started talking about it and the classes I would be taking and the phone rang. It was MIL BUT W told her she was talking-to me about my school visit and she would call her back. NOW my wife has NEVER cut someone short on the phone when talking to me was involved. She talked about some books we can share and some studding we could do together. Now I FEEL that in the past since I did not have a degree like wife and I worked most of my life that wife kind of looked down on me as being "un educated" Now I am doing this for me not her but I do think she is a little impressed. We started talking about our visit to “the Rock” on Wednesday and I told her I also wanted to go to the Wax Museum and Rip lies Believe it or not. She got all excited saying she has not been to those places in years……
The bad news… The pool liner has a leak. But get this. I bought an “insurance policy from the store incase it leaked. So when I called them they said the policy does not take affect for 30 days. WTF? After talking to the manager for what seemed like forever about how STUPID that was. IO said “well I guess my next step is to call the local paper and tell them my story. They put me on hold and when they got back online the told me to bring the pool in and they would exchange it.
Manipulation (Kind OF) Well several years ago we had an addition added on to our house that included adding 5 feet to our bed\room. Well the contractor never moved the sealing light and it has driven both the wife and I crazy with this light about 5 feet off center. SOOOOO Yesterday I went out and not only bought a Light but a ceiling fan also and moved the light and installed the fan. RIGHT ABOVE THE BED. Can’t wait until those hot muggy nights return and I am all cozy with my fan and W is trying to sleep in her office… But I am willing to share…. Ok there are tons more things but I think you got the drift. One last thing.. We went out for Chinese dinner tonight and my fortune cookie said:
A new relationship is about to blossom. You will be blessed.
Later Doc
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
