I am actually feeling just fine following the breakup. We hugged at the car and she does not seem sad. Maybe she was feeling similar things as I.
The golf lesson I had tonight was fun. They have bought more of the dopler radar Trackman Launch Analysis Systems for instructors to use. Since my swing was doing well, my instructor and I played some of the games - various distances with different clubs and various closest to hole contests. He beat me on all except for distance with a hybrid (one of my favorite clubs next to my 6 iron). He is impressed that my distance is about the same as his now. I just wish I could be as consistent as him.
When I feel comfortable financially, I plan to upgrade my clubs from the cheapy $120 set I bought at Big 5.
Kerry - just checking in! Hey, I wouldn't take her on vacation with me if I was you. Doesn't matter if you two can be friends or not, it just won't really work out that well. If there is any way to get out of it, please do so.
I'm going to be in Hawaii in August too, btw. Getting married. :0)
It's great to hear about your golf game. Consider... if you can go to Hawaii for three weeks, you can probably find a great deal on clubs (maybe used) that will continue to improve your game. It's like loving running marathons while wearing Keds.
Emotions are a tricky thing. Meeting her and becoming involved helped ease the transition in your divorce. Knowing what didn't work with your girlfriend is a good thing, too. Being alone for a bit might be a good thing.. to give you a chance to breathe, to process all that's gone on.. the divorce, the girlfriend.. and get to know you again.
Kerry.. stuff is stuff, even if it costs alot. Your peace of mind is worth more than gold. The meaning of the Hawaiian trip has changed with the break up, mutated more with the addition of the chaperon, perhaps even twisted knowing how deeply her family controls her life. It's great if you're on the inside.. not so good from the outside.
Ask yourself what the trip means to you and your children. Go from there. The only baggage you want on a vacation is what holds your clothes.
For what it is worth Kerry, I agree with the folks above. Baggage is for clothes...plus the airlines charge now for excess baggage. Anyhow I know you are a very nice guy but do you really need her and the chaperone with you nad the kids? Sometimes I think some folks on here are too nice (myself included) or we just want to avoid conflict. I see no advantage whatsoever in bringing her along.....but it is your decision.
Congratulations DQ! Which island is the wedding? My father and step-mom are coming over to Kauai towards the end of my vacation for a wedding too.
The airlines now charge for even the first bag when flying domestic!
The chaperone is not happening. She is standing up to her family and doing what she wants.
I understand what you are all saying and we will think it over well . We have a full month before we go and we will still be doing things together in the mean time. I had told her that there is still plenty of time to decide if the Kauai trip will work out. She really wants to see Hawaii and had been of the attitude that it was over hyped. I think she is in for a pleasant surprise.
It's weird, but last night was the first time we ever really spoke of what our relationship was like. We both concluded that we had been cruising along as very good friends (with benefits).
I'm a pretty optimistic guy and I have a feeling, that as usual, everything is going to work out just fine.
More good vibes - XW knows of the breakup and said that she will always be available if I need to talk. She has given me her contact phone numbers in Thailand and even gave me her long distance calling card account details so I can keep in touch with the kids.
Hey Kerry, you are such a positive guy!!! Curiously my XW also said she would always be available to talk. Unfortunatelly she is not on my priority list of people I will seek regarding advice on couples or anything else for thta matter. Man o man, news sure does travel fast in Oregon.
The thing I dont feel good about is that my kids are somewhere over the Pacific right now and crazy Kim Jong-il is thinking of firing off an ICBM on the 4th of July. They will probably be either in Thailand or going from Japan to Thailand at the time of the launch so maybe not that much worry.
The ironic thing is that next month I am taking them on vacation to the island where the Pacific Missle Range Facility is located. It might be cool to see some intercept missle launches while on vacation.
It will be interesting to see how the "friends" thing goes. I've never got deeply involved with anyone and then called it off. I have done it before any emotions (at least for me) got involved and every time the girl indicated that we could still be friends (and never actually meant it). I'm hoping she isn't going to be the kind of "friend" that wants more and instead slowly fades away into the sunset.
You cannot be lonely if you like the person you're alone with. Dr. Wayne Dyer
