Thank You MR. BRAVEHEART! Coming from you, that means alot.
I so hope he asks me to dinner. I am soooo afraid of rejection. He said he appreciated it and thank you. It didnt sound like he took it as "maybe we can go out, kinda thing". He just said I appreciate it. Sounded like I was doing him a favor or something. So I dont know, we will see. Did I mention he was younger than me.lol
Well, hey....."younger".....that's a good sign of self-confidence working there! You go, girl!
I can understand why you would fear rejection after what you have been through, but remember that he probably fears it worse than you! Since we think of it being "traditional" for men to ask the women out on a date, those coming out of a painful divorce might shy away. Don't let it discourage you if he doesn't ask right away. He may not be to the "place" you are, yet. If he sounded as if you were doing him a favor......hummmmm, he may be feeling bad about himself. You may be the lady who can pick his spirits up again! I bet it would be good for his ego to know you were interested in him. And, it sure is good for the woman's ego for a younger guy to want to go out with her.
Talk to you later, Sandi
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Well he still hasnt called to ask me out. If he wasnt "kinda" interested would he have come over to speak to me AFTER someone told him I was interested? I took that as a good sign. Maybe I should ask him out, ya think? I dont know, I am new at this. I have been off work, so I havent seen him in a few days. For some reason, I dont think he will call. He just seemed to be like "ummm...well ok, I appreciated it", not very promising.
Well I had to call the police and have son removed to his dad's house. It started like this... Son said "Mom dad has 2 questions for ya" "I said ok" Son said, "Dad wants to know if you are going to sale the sea doo (watercraft toy) and to tell you he got a letter on the house" "I said, tell him to call me and let me know what the letter said." Son said, "Dad says NO he isnt calling and DO NOT call him" "I say, ok well ask him what it said" Son said, "NOPE I am done talking, I dont want to be in middle" I said, "Dad put you in the middle, not me" Son said, "Go away, I am done talking" (I was standing outside his bedroom door and he wouldnt open it. This made me upset. I said, "OPEN THIS DOOR" We argued back and forth and finally I KICKED THE DOOR IN! I had had enought, couldnt take it anymore. We argued and of course he was on the phone with dad the whole time complaining. I struggled to grab the phone and he hit me. I dont know if it was intentional or on purpose. I called my cop friend to come and remove him and talk to him. Son is living with dad now. He is VERY upset with me. This broke my heart. I was on the front porch waiting on son to leave and he came out and said, "Mom dad isnt coming to get me until you go inside" I said, "Well too bad, because this is my house and I AM NOT GOING INSIDE TIL I AM READY." I am tired of being pushed around and this was just plain childish. His dad pulled up and I took the chance to ask him for my letter. My xh said, "IT IS NOT YOUR LETTER, IT WAS SENT TO ME!" and pulled off. This was the MOST childish thing I have ever witnessed. Never in my life, have I seen a grown man act this way. Of course his gf was driving...I didnt care, it didnt bother me in the least. I walked right down my driveway and right up to their car and asked for the letter. They do NOT scare me and I am tired of not standing up for myself. I have made decisions and I am sorry, but I have to stick by them.
Now some of you will probably say that I should not of approached xh or I should not of done this in front of son, but oh well, I have had enough. I lost my mom I lost my h I lost my son (not really, but I feel like I have) I lost my home I am at the end of my rope.
My xh told me I was going to die alone and maybe I will but I will die in peace hopefully.
I'm so sorry your son baited you into this confrontation, but I think it's a good thing that he spends sometime with his dad. Nothing like living on the other side of la-la land to figure out it wasn't so bad where you were before.
And to be honest, I think you could use sometime to yourself...peace and quiet...to plot the direction you're going to take. I don't know if I've ever had that peace and quiet since the bomb was dropped so long ago. It's just seemed to be one bad thing after another. I think my health is starting to pay the price for that now..so many years later.
I had/have losses one right after another too
Dad died H changed jobs, which ultimately changed him and our family Grandma died Grandpa died Both uncles died Family friend died Bomb Lost the marriage Lost the house Lost any sense of security/family there was before This year, lost another family friend in an accident And I'll soon be losing my daughter in law...son told her he wanted out after 7 years of marriage. (Yes, it's a generational curse! This will be about the 5th generation in a row on Hs side where the H divorced the wife)
I think you sound much stronger, Sun. It's hard to learn how to stand up for yourself..all over again. But you sound like you have the spunk to do it.
Women are angels. And when someone breaks our wings, we simply continue to fly...on a broomstick. We are flexible
Creed thank you for taking the time to post to me. Yes our son sometimes says things that makes his dad angry at me. I think son is so confused that sometimes he doesnt know what to say. I feel sorry for him in that respect. He is so afraid of losing his dad forever that he will go to any length to please him, including hurting me. Why? I think because he feels safe with me and he knows I would never leave him. I hug him, I kiss him and tell him constantly how much I love and care about him. I try to never say anything bad about his dad. In fact, I tell him I love his dad and his dad is just being overtook by the devil right now. I miss my son soooooo much not being in the house. A couple of times I almost forgot he was gone. My son told me today, mom this might be what I needed. It might be what GOD wanted. I have to grow up sometime. Son has a good head on his shoulders and can be sooo very smart. BUT every now and then his dads attitude shows and its not nice.
Someone told me today, Renee your xh has not changed. You are just now seeing him for the way he treated others. He said I saw a side of him nobody else did, and now I am seeing what everyone else sees. He is probably right. My xh did walk away, (I will give you that braveheart), BUT I believe he is having a crisis and at midlife. No one will make be believe any different. I know this doesnt mean he will come back someday, but I do believe its a crisis, too much has happened. Braveheart says because he divorced me so quick it wasnt, but I believe different. Sorry braveheart I am not saying you are wrong, I am just saying I believe you are 50% right. ............it doesnt matter, he is gone for now or always.
Snodderly I checked out "The Script".....very interesting and sounds just like my xh.
Renee, first good for you on a couple of points! It is your house and your rules! Stand by your guns with son! Make him stay with his dad for awhile, let him worry about a few things! Second, I also agree with you about the letter about the house thing, if it was important, he should have at least mailed it to you. As far as me being right about your H being a MLCer or WAS, well Renee, I am wrong a lot, if you think he is in MLC, then maybe he is. You know him much better than I do.
son and xh deserve each other right now. I wouldnt be in a big hurry to let son come home either
what about your poor nephew??????
Me 53 H 51 OW 25 Bomb may 06 left june 8/ 06 ILYBNILWY (twice!) 7/6/07 H wants to come home 7/21/07 H comes home 7/07 -7/08 long haul letting go of OW now piecing in earnest
............it doesnt matter, he is gone for now or always.