I do think that letting him get close in an intimate way makes it harder for you to detach emotionally. A similar thing happened with me in that W and I would have some long kisses and embraces when she was leaving (after visiting with kids) to return to OM. She was on the fence and it did me no good in detaching. I should have let her know that as long as she was still living with him there was to be no attempt at reconcilling our M.
i dont know that i see our encounters as an attempt to reconcile. i think it keeps us linked, keeps us connected, and keeps as at the point where we might consider reconciling.
i know im trying to move on, trying to move forward, but still keeping the door open for him,,,,it is ultimately what i want.
i want my family together, i want my husband to fully recover from this and be willing to work on things with me.
what i do realize is that ow must be fully out of the picture, most likely for a while, before we can even address our marriage.
i do realize boundaries would need to be set, should he return home.
i dont expect him home tomorrow. or the next day.
im living things day by day for now.
me: 31 H:29 Son:5 m:8 years in november t:10 years first bomb: 10/06 moved home: 3/08 out again 5/08 ow bomb: 4/08, since summer 06 d filed:6/08, on hold 6/08 moved home:3/09 out again 5/09
i posted what happened in my thread under infidelity.
psycho ow is at it again...this time she "spoofed" my cell phone number, sending my husband several texts through the computer, claiming to be me.
then she was calling me repeatedly last night, i did not answer.
then he called me telling me i was sending him texts. i told him it was not me.
what a nightmare, who knows what the texts said, i hope he believes that it wasnt me.
clearly she is trying to get rid of me, she must be feeling threatened.
me: 31 H:29 Son:5 m:8 years in november t:10 years first bomb: 10/06 moved home: 3/08 out again 5/08 ow bomb: 4/08, since summer 06 d filed:6/08, on hold 6/08 moved home:3/09 out again 5/09
Of course she is threatened! Hopefully he will see her for what she is. Why would she be calling you? What could she possibly have to say to you?
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
if he hasnt seen her for what she is by now, he never will.
the thing is, he knows she is crazy. i dont get why he still goes back to her.
im thinking she is totally losing it now, totally realizing she isnt marrying him anytime soon.
she told me my divorce was almost final the last time i spoke to her!!!
i dont think she has anything to say to me, just likes to lash out and call me.
h called me 2 times this afternoon, clearly he is feeling bad about the calls last night, he even spoke so sweetly to me about the "spoofing" of my phone number.
he knows it wasnt me. i wonder what she was writing. i bet her broken english gave her away...lol
me: 31 H:29 Son:5 m:8 years in november t:10 years first bomb: 10/06 moved home: 3/08 out again 5/08 ow bomb: 4/08, since summer 06 d filed:6/08, on hold 6/08 moved home:3/09 out again 5/09
h was here this afternoon, after son and i got back from the beach....
and when he left, maybe 5 minutes later, i received a private call. i am careful to answer them, because i do not wish to speak to her.
of course whoever it was, hung up on me.
and i so know it was her.
she is really grasping. why hang up? its so high school. what is the point?
my opinion, she is angry, frustrated and nuts...maybe calling to hang up is her way to lash out.
me: 31 H:29 Son:5 m:8 years in november t:10 years first bomb: 10/06 moved home: 3/08 out again 5/08 ow bomb: 4/08, since summer 06 d filed:6/08, on hold 6/08 moved home:3/09 out again 5/09
Sorry Mdoodles, but I think it is so funny that the OW is acting like that...Im mean, that is just so immature of her...I dont know why these OW do this...I mean I guess its cuz they feel threatened and all, but come on...
Hope you are planning on doing something fun this weekend!
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
mdoodles, I'm sorry, but I haven't read all of your back story...how old is OW in your case? Of course you and your H aren't all that old anyway, so she's probably pretty young. I'm guessing there is probably a legit reason for her immaturity. (OW in my case is 24, was 22 when A started (my H is 45).) She does sound just a little insane and delusional and desperate!
Hang in there!
Peace, Dawn
Me 45/H 47, no kids Together since 1985; M/1992 Bomb1 (EA-OW1, age 22) 2001 Bomb2 (EA/PA-OW2, age 22) 10/2007, A continues H left 11/24/08 minimal contact, no legal action http://tinyurl.com/DawnHope1
she is 22....i recall last summer she started with the once a day hang up, although at the time i didnt think it was her since i believed my husband that he had broken it off with her...hmm maybe he had and that was why she was calling, who knows..
i blocked her from calling my cell phone, although it seems i need to keep calling my provider to make sure it is remaining blocked, something keeps happening to unblock it, and something tells me she has what to do with it.
at home i dont mind, i would rather know she is trying to get through to me, its just if im not, i would rather not be interupted with texts or calls.
i wish she would just give up and leave him already for good, or let him leave her. they are doomed anyway, why not see it now?
she wants to get married, has been pushing for it for like 18 months already. and clearly he isnt giving it to her.
me: 31 H:29 Son:5 m:8 years in november t:10 years first bomb: 10/06 moved home: 3/08 out again 5/08 ow bomb: 4/08, since summer 06 d filed:6/08, on hold 6/08 moved home:3/09 out again 5/09
