Can it get any worse?

[glamgirl]

Thanks so much for all the support. I was walking around costco trying to figure out how all of this happened. We could have finished this 3 years ago. Why didn't my h come forward years ago? Any thoughts?

I was able to eat a little but this whole situation sickens my stomach. Everything makes sense now. Why my h couldn't spend the night, why he never had any money. My guess is that before his job ended in April he was giving her some form of support. Then his job ended and the money ended. She files for food stamps and lists my h as the father.

I believe that this has been going on for a long time. My h used to say Glam you have no idea what I am going through, well I do now. He also used to say Glam it will be up to you if I come home. Yep he has that right.

Ow wanted my life. Well how is that working out for her now. Doesn't seem so great now if she is asking for child support. Did she get all that she wanted? Is my h standing by her now? Is her life just peaches now? I don't blame her or am angry with her, my h is to blame. He had a choice to not allow this person in our life. He made poor choices, but they were his choices.

What I have say about ow here is a fact. I know that to be true. How in the world my h hooked up with her I have no idea. It's like she was from the other side of the tracks. My h was a well respected business man, smart, wordly, but not that smart if he associated himself with ow. How do you explain it? How could he not care?

When I met her 3 years ago, she was a piece of work. I let my h know then something about her was off and I didn't want to be around her. Of course, my h defended her. Of course he was f'ing her on the side. Why wouldn't he defend her. She had her digs into my h back then.

The part I am baffled at is why couldn't my h come forward? Any thoughts? How appropriate that I find out through a piece of mail. Did my h really want me to find out that way? What a coward.

I guess he was just going to keep this a secret for as long as he could. Why should he disclose? It just goes to show the integrity of his character. Did he care nothing for me and the kids? I feel like I was put out with yesterdays trash.

I loved this man more than anything or anyone. I find it so hard to believe this is who he is.

[naej]

Glam, you may never get answers to all these questions.
He has proved himself time and time again to be a weak and spineless man.
It would not suprize me that he wanted you to find out, leading a double life has obviously been a great strain on him and more so since he now has no job.
Do not blame yourself for any of this.
You are probably right about him keeping her and now he can't so that is why it has all come to light.
At least now you have some answers to a few questions , like why he never stayed the night, never had any money etc.
You must get as much help and advice as you can, protect yourself and children at all costs.
I believe Trusting had a similar thing happen to her with the discovery of a "love child" who was 8 years old!
We are all here for you, try to take care of yourself,you need to keep healthy to see this through.
I think he has a very manipulative streak and fooled so many people,so don't be hard on yourself. When we love someone so much we only see what we want to see.
Get yourself checked out asap like Laughing said.
Keep posting so we know you are ok.

[mdoodles]

i am sooooo soooo sorry u are going through this.

i think he didnt come forward, because in a sense it would have made it real to him. does that make sense?

by not saying, it wasnt real.

u, me and all the other lbs are reality. if he told u what he was hiding, it would become, reality.

and he didnt want reality.

i know how it feels to not understand who they are now. i know. i feel the exact same way.

how could this happen? how can they do this?

we will never have the answers, they dont know themselves.

look, maybe in some ways he didnt tell u, because he didnt want to hurt u.

i know how hard it is to eat, try to eat what u can to keep up your strength.

drink orange juice, when i have trouble eating i make sure i drink orange juice rather than water for the calories, vitamins and sugar.

keep posting, i check often and will make sure i respond so u have someone to talk to.

[glamgirl]

Md Thanks so much for posting. I do believe there is something about the hurt, but I was already hurt by him leaving what difference would it make by telling the truth.

Also why would someone want to carry that burden? What would he have to gain, but maybe it is more about what he would have to lose?

Did this guy not give a $hit about anything? It appears to be that way.

I wanted to deal with this 3 years ago and now it's 3 years too late. How could he just open all these wounds all over again.

Why couldn't he just spit it out of his mouth back then. I have never been around anyone so manipulative in my life. It's as if he lived his life today as if he had no skeletons in the closet.

What a coward. This was a man of integrity business wise that could make a mean business deal. I guess though his true character was one of passiveness and lacked integrity and spineless. Thanks Naej.

As much as I want those answers. I doubt that my h will be forthcoming with those. He could care less what I want or ask.

This is where the rubber meets the road. I am seriously thinking of packing it up and moving in with my sis. I don't want to be in the same state with this ow knowing what I know now.

My h used to talk about pres clinton and his lack of morality, who's calling the kettle black now. How is my h any better?

Never once did my h say he was sorry. I guess he didn't think he needed to say sorry for anything.

[forward]

Glam, I am so sorry. You had some positive activity there. This would be devastating. Many hugs.... Please take special care of yourself here.

Your assumptions are running on overdrive. Yes, you ave every reason to be very suspicious....but

Maybe it is not his child. If it is, then you have to consider what to do, but it is possible that it is not.

[forward]

I would also let him deal with the fallout himself. Agree on that.

{{{GG}}

[Truelove]

Hi glamgirl,

I am so sorry about what happened.

He had it all and how could he be proud of what a mess he made of his life? I don't understand how someone can get so far off base in their thinking? - It doesn't make sense to me. None of this makes sense.

I can relate so well to this!

You also said that you loved your H more than anything or anybody else. I can also relate to this.

Yes, they are cowerds, that's for sure!

I am sorry you have to deal with this on top of all the other problems. I wish you strength and will keep you in my thoughts. (((HUGS)))

[job]

Glam,
Run, do not walk to the nearest lawyer for advice. The child needs to have his/her DNA tested. I am so in agreement with Laughing that it isn't funny.

How could your h do this stuff...easy...mlc and depression. These people do some really stupid stuff when they are out to lunch. They are children and good common, rational sense is tossed out the door. As for moving forward, he's paralyzed w/fear and can't move forward or backward because he knows that he's screwed up big time.

Love him from afar, but it's time to truly drop the rope entirely, gently close the door and go on w/your life. There's nothing you can do to help him. He's truly made a mess and now he's got to clean it up. Treese is in a very similiar situation. I feel for both of you ladies.

[dl443322]

G, my friend, I am so very sorry. Right now you need to take care of yourself. You need to eat, rest and be still.

Honey, it doesnt really matter right now why. Why he did this, what the ow is like. What matters is you and your children.

You need to go see a lawyer as soon as possible. YOu have to protect yourself. You need to go to a doctor. This is a huge thing to find out and you may need help getting through it.

Your h couldnt come to you because he is trying to block everything out. If he told you, it is more real.

G, you need to let him go now, really and truly. Dont make any hasty decisions. Take some time to think things through.

This is not your responsibility, it is his. Let it be.

Dont look for answers right now. And most importantly, do not blame yourself. You have done nothing wrong. And you are not stupid for fighting for your marriage and trusting the man you thought your h was. If you are, then we all are.

Please take care of yourself. I am on FB, if you need to talk.

You and your children are in my prayers. Be good to yourself, G

[glamgirl]

I am just so sad and devastated. I tried to manage through the day the best I could. I have a splitting headache. I finally ate a little fruit.

Yeah what difference does it matter what the answers are. I am not going to get them from my h anyway. He's a coward. I am so paralyzed today. I am so ashamed of my life and my h. He walks around like he did nothing.

I want this all to go away. I don't want this to be true. How do I find myself here? What would h's family think of him? How can he like himself and who he became? What person in their right mind wants to be like him. Then he introduces everyone to me and acts like he's a saint, but he doesn't even have the balls to be a man and step up and do the right thing.

Yeah makes sense if he acknowledges what he did, now it's real, but he has to face reality someday. Looks like with the courts that day has come.

How does this guy even feel about me? What are his plans for the future? I just want this all to go away.

Screaming out to the Lord why is this my life? Why? Why couldn't I have just met some nice guy that loved me to the fullest and enjoyed our married life together. Why is that too much to ask? Why did I get the short end of the stick twice?