Wondering how to handle things

[kissak]

THANKS! you guys are great.

swl...you are so hard to get up with now a days!!!lol thanks for taking the hint and checking in on me though!

MDoodles...I have asked him to come home before...his answer was "dont you think I would if I could?"

So, I dont ask anymore.

Every time in the past, it was the OW that made him want to leave.

Now, since she has left her H....well, he has stopped talking to me quite as much.

swl...I know he hasnt changed. I think it may still be many years till he may...and he may never. He has major issues and he knows that.


yay...Im so looking forward to getting away this weekend!! Leaving any and all drama behind!!!

[mdoodles]

does the ow know about u? have u ever spoken to her? i dont mean to ask questions u probably already answered, just curious.

have a great time on vacation, enjoy yourself. i could use a vacation myself.

[kissak]

does the ow know about u? have u ever spoken to her? i dont mean to ask questions u probably already answered, just curious.

oh, yes she knows about me. I have had several conversations with her by phone only...and that was only when she found out my H was lying to her...I should have never talked to her...but I was like her...wanting to know what lies he had told me...it was her that told me that my H had cheated on me with a mutual Married friend of ours....even the child she had was in question to whose it was...of course my H denied this all and the OW said he told her he would deny it...but I dont know if she was lying or my H. But I do know for a fact that the OW will NEVER trust my H...but they are Best friends as she tells people. Because they both have issues and can confide in each other.

[kissak]

well, I had a great weekend away with my kids! It was nice to just be away.

My H didnt bother me any. I heard from him only a few times. He just asked if we were having a good time. I know he got drunk on Friday night. I was glad to not have to deal with it.

I think I have him figured out. He is lonely, so he spends all his time texting friends...anyone really that will let him.

I am having a hard time being back. I liked it better when I was away. Away from things that reminded me of him. I wish I could move away. Sometimes anyway.

[mishka422]

Hey kissak! I saw the pics from your vaca and it looks like it was a fabulous time!

You say you wish you could move.....why can't you? I know the housing market bites, but is it something you could consider for the future?

In the meantime, changes of scenery are a real plus. They do lift your spirits. The best thing you can do for you and the kids now is to create new memories in your current area. Make new happy memories to overshadow the old 'family' memories.

For instance....something very simple that has helped me a lot....the restaurants we always went to as a family were strictly off limits for a while. We've started going again, when we can work it in the budget that is, but we make sure to order something very different than we used to and I make a point of absorbing the atmosphere of the place instead of associating a specific memory with it. I don't know if that makes any sense because in reading it back it sounds a little hokey to me, but that's the best I can explain it.

[kissak]

Thanks Mishka... we did have alot of fun, and like i said it was nice to get away from H and the memories.

I dont know about moving. My family is here. My business is here too and I absolutely love my neighborhood. But who knows what the future will hold. If my life ever moves forward in a way were Im divorced and get remarried, I may move if its right.

[mishka422]

Even just a change of one town could help, but I understand the not moving too far from family. They are your support system and you don't dare leave that!

[kissak]

You are so right! How are you doing Mishka? I dont get much time to catch up on peoples threads lately.

[mishka422]

I'm doing ok thanks. Up and down as usual. Nothing new to report. Ho hum.....

[kissak]

Hey Mishka...i posted on your thread.