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why thank you. it's taken a very long time for me to get to this point, and the decisions I've made for me and my new life feel right, they feel good.
I'm sad about the end of my marriage, but I can't do this anymore. I've taken a lot of crap here and he's still not willing to admit his wrong doing. He has no ability to recognize how dissappointed many people are in him and how he acted.
I told him last night when he said he and OW haven't talked in days and she's def. moved on with her new BF "Great, you threw us away for nothing.....just like I always knew it was going to be nothing." He said nada in response. What could he say?

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Alot of times its not till the very end when they realize they totally screwed up. To bad that 90% of the time its too late.


(((hugs))


me: 37
H: 44
Married for 18 years this june
S7
S3
porn issues, and much more... since 7/06

Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
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Alright. Strange turn of events.
I met with a lawyer yesterday after H and I went in for our dentist appointment.
Before going to the dentist H and I talked about a few things...including he will give the marriage program a try.
I am still 99% sure of divorce for us, but I was surprised.
He did sign a new lease for a place in town that is furnished and it's month to month which is what I asked him to look for so if or more likely when I leave for Virginia, he won't be paying a lot of money to break a lease.
We are going to start the program back up again next week and have agreed to not talk about anything else for the rest of this week.
He is going to start moving his clothes to his new place this weekend when he gets the keys on Friday.
I have absolutely no idea why the change of heart as it relates to the program, but we'll see what happens. I decided to not even ask him why he wants to try it now. But I'm really not holding my breathe. I'm not even sure what I want anymore but I did make a pretty big stink about doing the program. My true hope is that we'll at least be able to figure some things out about ourselves and get along better. That's the most important thing for Son.
I am going to continue to move forward with moving back to Virginia.

I'll keep you updated, As Stillloveshim's World Turns.......

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i think its great he is willing to try the counseling.

u never know what might happen....atleast u will know u tried.


me: 31
H:29
Son:5
m:8 years in november
t:10 years
first bomb: 10/06
moved home: 3/08 out again 5/08
ow bomb: 4/08, since summer 06
d filed:6/08, on hold 6/08
moved home:3/09 out again 5/09
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that's pretty much my feeling on it too.
I'm proud of you. You're doing great.
I wish we could exchange numbers!

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yeah, i know, right! it seems some people are able to get emails and find eachother on other sites, i dont get it.

i think at one time u could exchange emails but not anymore. not so sure.

as far as me doing great, not so sure! im trying. im minute to minute.

i havent fully accepted that i have to move. i dont really want to. im going through the motions, have been for a year, but now that its real, now that it seems like its in 2 months, im in denial.

and funnier, is that with us, u never really know. what i have to know though, is that im done regardless of him.


me: 31
H:29
Son:5
m:8 years in november
t:10 years
first bomb: 10/06
moved home: 3/08 out again 5/08
ow bomb: 4/08, since summer 06
d filed:6/08, on hold 6/08
moved home:3/09 out again 5/09
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You are supposed to do this in YOUR time and on YOUR terms. You can't walk away from this only to one day wonder "Did we do everything we could have?" No doubts. No matter what this has to be done with no doubts.

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well, i can honestly say i have done everything i could save our marriage. more than everything. i have no doubts left, no more, should i have done this, what if i would have done that.

i know that.

its now a matter of this- does he really want to split? has he done everything he can? but that is all up to him, i cant control it.

the only thing i can do is make the decision to stay with him if the offer arises.


me: 31
H:29
Son:5
m:8 years in november
t:10 years
first bomb: 10/06
moved home: 3/08 out again 5/08
ow bomb: 4/08, since summer 06
d filed:6/08, on hold 6/08
moved home:3/09 out again 5/09
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Then you are in a great spot for your future and it could include him or maybe it doesn't.
In terms of him giving up custody so easily, that's fine. It says a lot about him but you need a break too. Make sure he has at least every other weekend with his child. His child deserves that time with him.

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So tonight we are starting week two of the marriage fitness program.
We did week one about two weeks ago. He rolled his eyes and was negative blah blah blah
and said NO MORE!! I'm not doing this, I don't want to fix things, etc.
Fine. Then a change of heart, not exactly sure why.
I asked him last night, why the change of heart about the program and are you going to be sincere.
He says Yes, I'll be sincere and I've changed my mind because you said minimum the program will help us get along better. This isn't going to have the outcome you think.....(meaning we get back together) but I think it would be good if we could get along better.
I said what makes you think I want more than just to get along?
He said nothing.
I'm actually at a point where I'm ready to say No more. But I made such a stink about the program and said I could contest because we did nothing for professional help.

What I think has really happened is parents were recently made aware by me about his shennanigans which I knew they knew nothing about. I think his parents may have said Do the program....And they said this for one of two reasons: It will shut her up and she can't contest the divorce or they are disappointed in him now that they know more about his crap. (I knew he was lying to them and exaggerating things.) Also, and this is where I tend to believe things went down....his lawyer confirmed for him that because we have a child the judge would say Yes, go back and get counseling. So I think he's agreed to do this because he knows I'll get the counseling even if it's court ordered because we have a three year old child. In Florida, it's been made very clear to me the judges here care little about the parents andn 100% about the child and everything will be done with the child's best interest in mind.

So, here we go. I think I'm on a fast dip on the roller coaster ride today.

This weekend, he moved out to his own place that mommy and daddy are paying for. I got word from a little birdie H was expecting fireworks for this weekend because he was moving. So I packed all of his stuff and gave him some cleaning supplies, etc and even loaded all of this stuff up into my SUV so when he got home from golf he could just move his crap with S was napping. I wish I had thought about it and had the camera ready to take a picture of his face. It was priceless. No fireworks. Sorry he was disappointed. LOL!!

I'm ready folks. I'm ready for my life and preparing for it without much of him in it. It's sort of sad, but I feel more and more liberated everyday.

I'm still going to fight this out because I was the one who pushed for this program, and my son deserves 100% effort from both of us, but I'm bracing for impact.

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