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i have decided to no longer get the mail. it was never my thing to bring in the mail anyway lol....nothing good ever comes in the mail. nothing.

first that ridiculus letter from the attorney the other day that now resides in the kitchen junk drawer....

now, i receive 3 letters telling me my house will be sold at auction July 27, all while my real estate attorney said they didnt have a date scheduled, and we submitted a short sale agreement to avoid foreclosure.

its not foreclosure i am afraid of, its the preparation to move. im not ready to go july 27.

im hoping this is just one of those cross mail things, that it went out before they spoke to my attorney.

how about some good mail? like a check? a gift? an invitation to a nice party?

and get this - i was supposed to receive a check from my health insurance reimbursing me for my gym membership...dont u think they sent it in my husband's name, he got it before me and cashed it, not even realizing it was for me?

i hate the mail. period.


me: 31
H:29
Son:5
m:8 years in november
t:10 years
first bomb: 10/06
moved home: 3/08 out again 5/08
ow bomb: 4/08, since summer 06
d filed:6/08, on hold 6/08
moved home:3/09 out again 5/09
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LOL
Yeah let it go. Let it all pile up!

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i really make myself laugh. i guess thats a good thing.

i may remove the mailbox, i mean, who says we MUST have one? lol.

h just called, he seemed rather down, i didnt ask of course. just said, whats doing and put my son on the phone.

after he calls i always feel worse.

sometimes i think i want him back because its simply easier. does that make sense?

its easier to want him than deal with the emotions of losing him and letting go.


me: 31
H:29
Son:5
m:8 years in november
t:10 years
first bomb: 10/06
moved home: 3/08 out again 5/08
ow bomb: 4/08, since summer 06
d filed:6/08, on hold 6/08
moved home:3/09 out again 5/09
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Originally Posted By: mdoodles


sometimes i think i want him back because its simply easier. does that make sense?



Absolutely!

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ok, my parents are going to make me crazy, crazier than i already am...

there is a reason i did not tell them for so very long what was going on, because i did not want to deal with this!

its one thing when i have what to say about h, its another to hear it from someone else, let alone my parents. and i have to say, i havent even badmouthed him to my parents. ever.

met my dad for lunch today, he was busy creating theories about how h must be working and not telling us and how my father will figure it out etc. i was like, he isnt that conniving. so my dad was like, oh yeah right...etc.

i took my son to pick out a father's day gift. i used a gift card i had to a dept store, it didnt cost me anything. i feel it is important to teach my son the way to treat people, he deserves to get his father a gift.

so my dad was like, oh, that is kind of u. i was like, its his father, son deserves to be taught how to treat people.

dont get me wrong - my parents mean well, they are the best parents there are. but them putting h down doesnt help me.

my mother is also busy getting angry at h and expressing it to me. doesnt help me. makes me not want to talk to them.

i called to ask her a question about a job i was looking at, im just starting to dust off my resume and look at potential jobs for the fall.

my mother goes into a whole thing about how i should go back to school, be a teacher, choose a career etc.

i was like, i dont want to be a teacher, i dont want to go back to school....then i said, please, one day at a time!

sorry for the long post, just venting.

on a positive note, i finally sold my son's train table! so excited that i listed it online and sold it! im going to see what else i can sell. i explained to my son that we can sell what he doesnt use and buy him new furniture. he was happy with that.

Last edited by mdoodles; 06/20/09 09:13 PM.

me: 31
H:29
Son:5
m:8 years in november
t:10 years
first bomb: 10/06
moved home: 3/08 out again 5/08
ow bomb: 4/08, since summer 06
d filed:6/08, on hold 6/08
moved home:3/09 out again 5/09
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mdoodles, you have been through hell, and I was wondering how would you feel if you were in your folks' shoes?

you will always be their kid and they do mean well.

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puppy, PLEASE tell me exactly what to do for a complete 180, if u have the time to really lay it out for me.

i feel like i need to be spoken to like a child, really spell it out for me.

i still want him back, in the worst way, but i think i need to complete detach, completely opposite of everything i have ever done.

but, i need to still seem nice, not cold, and i dont want it to seem like im looking for revenge of any kind.

i want him to feel, truly feel, that i have let go. but i just dont know how to do it, probably because i never let myself.

do i pack his things, or is it harsh? will he react one way first and then another?

how will he notice my changes if he isnt even home?

will the changes even matter to him?

thanks for your help, im sure its tiresome, when i should already know what to do.


me: 31
H:29
Son:5
m:8 years in november
t:10 years
first bomb: 10/06
moved home: 3/08 out again 5/08
ow bomb: 4/08, since summer 06
d filed:6/08, on hold 6/08
moved home:3/09 out again 5/09
Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 18,296
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Originally Posted By: mdoodles


but, i need to still seem nice, not cold, and i dont want it to seem like im looking for revenge of any kind.


Doodles, this tells me that you're not really ready for this. When you're ready to not give a hoot one way or another just WHAT it seems to him, then you'll be ready.

Puppy

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you are right, im not really ready. but i dont know that i will ever be.

how do i make myself ready? how do i make myself feel one way when i really do want him back?


me: 31
H:29
Son:5
m:8 years in november
t:10 years
first bomb: 10/06
moved home: 3/08 out again 5/08
ow bomb: 4/08, since summer 06
d filed:6/08, on hold 6/08
moved home:3/09 out again 5/09
Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 18,296
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We used to have a wise DBer on the old SSM board, who used to say "Sometimes you're just not ready. And then you are."

You'll know.

Puppy

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