I have been thoroughly enjoying myself. There are actually long periods of time where I don't even think about my sitch. H has called twice since Sunday "to check on the kids" - although he hasn't "spoken" to them on the phone. Just asks me what they are up to.
Me 36, Him 33 M 11yrs, T 15yrs S 8, D 7 ILYBINILWY - 1/09 H moves out 10/09 D to be final SOON I HOPE!
This trip could not have come at a better time. I SO needed to get back to my "roots". To get back to the real ME. I love Chicago. I love the people - midwesterners are just so friendly. I stopped by a bar by myself on Monday night & had a couple girls who I didn't even know invite me to sit by them.
I love the music here. I love driving my parent's car & blaring the radio, listening to great Chicago house music - I even love the way the DJ's mix music here. It's the stuff I grew up on. I've gotten to drive by my old HS & old stomping grounds. I've gotten to see friends (thanks to facebook) that I haven't seen in 15 years. I get to be w/my parents & grandmother who love me for me. I love the drivers here. They frickin know how to take turns at 4 way stop signs! I love the streets here - it's all a grid, north, south, east & west. So much easier to get around than in VA. I love Chicago accents - they are hilarious. I love that people call soda, pop. Love, love, love the food. Deep dish Chicago style pizza RULES. Italian beefs, chicago style hot dogs - it all rocks!
It's just fun to be able to appreciate everything. It's fun to be able to have fun again. To be ME!
Me 36, Him 33 M 11yrs, T 15yrs S 8, D 7 ILYBINILWY - 1/09 H moves out 10/09 D to be final SOON I HOPE!
WOW! Sounds like your having a fantastic time! I was in Chicago in 2005 and just loved it!
I'm leaving tomorrow for three weeks in Georgia, and need to catch your enthusiasm. I'm excited to go, and leave this nightmare behind for a little while. But, at the same time, I'm somewhat down because of the nightmare at home. Does that make sense? I guess I just wish I was leaving under different circumstances at home. And my H missing me while I'm gone. (sigh)
Have you been able to detach yet? If you read through my recent threads, I just figured it out. The only way I can describe it is to start treating H like he's your son. How would you treat a child? You would love them unconditionally & realize they would have to experience life on their own. You can tell a teenager until you're blue in the face all the things YOU learned in your life while growing up...but they won't listen. They need to learn on their own.
Once you get to that point, you can start enjoying your life again. I felt the same way as you before I figured it out. I kept thinking - I should be happy about my trip but I'll still have the same issues on my mind while I'm away. I started thinking the best vacation for me may just be going to the hospital & being put into a coma for a week so I wouldn't have to think about my sitch! Now I can do my own thing & have fun again. Stop thinking of it as a nightmare. Think of it as a journey. You are one one - H is on one. Hopefully both roads lead to the same place, but if they don't, you will be okay - better than okay - you will have worked on yourself to be the best you possible!
Me 36, Him 33 M 11yrs, T 15yrs S 8, D 7 ILYBINILWY - 1/09 H moves out 10/09 D to be final SOON I HOPE!
Have you been able to detach yet? If you read through my recent threads, I just figured it out. The only way I can describe it is to start treating H like he's your son. How would you treat a child? You would love them unconditionally & realize they would have to experience life on their own. You can tell a teenager until you're blue in the face all the things YOU learned in your life while growing up...but they won't listen. They need to learn on their own.
Once you get to that point, you can start enjoying your life again. I felt the same way as you before I figured it out. I kept thinking - I should be happy about my trip but I'll still have the same issues on my mind while I'm away. I started thinking the best vacation for me may just be going to the hospital & being put into a coma for a week so I wouldn't have to think about my sitch! Now I can do my own thing & have fun again. Stop thinking of it as a nightmare. Think of it as a journey. You are one one - H is on one. Hopefully both roads lead to the same place, but if they don't, you will be okay - better than okay - you will have worked on yourself to be the best you possible!
AHHHH crap! I already have to deal with teen angst from the real teen in my house!
Living God's blessings with grace and dignity~ SMW
M40/H36 T16/M14 4K B2/08 S4/08 current
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. I Corinthians 13:7
