She knows what I want. She did not put up her "force field". As far as I am concerned unless she rejects my advances Saturday then she has already made her decision to stay..
Doc
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
EVERYONE was a little bit Right. Things did not go as "planned" but the air was cleared on somethings and "I" do feel better on some stuff. Kind of like how when you are sick and don't want to throw up but after you do throw up you feel better?
Baby steps...I may have "jump the gun" a little. Yes she did feel like it was an "ultimatum" she HATED being referred to as a "Dependent" but I think she was more upset than angry.. I think she see's things are getting better and that I am getting tired if this drama. Sunday morning when I woke up and she was not there I needed to get some stuff done early so I left a note on our message board saying that I felt "disappointed" that morning. When I returned later not allot was said between us and she had to leave to take care of some stuff for her mom. When she returned I stopped her and let her know I was not "mad" that she was not in our bed last night just disappointed. I was hoping that we could finely be starting new and fresh. She then told me that she was thinking that it may be time to at least start sleeping together again but when she got my message it felt like it was an ultimatum to her and was angry that I said she was dependent on me. I told her it was NOT an ultimatum it was not about her it was about me and how I am feeling right now. And I told her when I said I did not need a Dependent I meant it as a roommate, sister, and close friend... not someone I am supporting. I told her I am sorry her mis understood what I meant. She said she understands what I meant now that I explained it to her. BUT she still says she is not ready. She is afraid to totally "recommit" because she does not want to return to where we were. Anyway things were better on Monday and by Tuesday we were back to "normal" in a good way. I still feel that we are sooooo close. I feel that she is suffering from that "burned relationship" problem.. You know when you have a bad relationship with someone and it ends.. You are afraid to open your heart again to someone because you are afraid you will get hurt again? As for the Job front? Well I have 6 more days.. NOTHING was done while I was away. My desk was piled with stuff. This was actually good because I was afraid that all my work would have been done and I would just be sitting around for the next two weeks when I returned. I also have a "paneled interview" on Friday in a different department here at my company..Sounds like I do have a chance at getting the job BUT... allot of my co-workers are saying that management already have someone in mind to fill that position. Oh well I would not have a chance at all if I did not apply right? So to wrap this up I do not see this Saturdays event.(or should I say uneventful situation) as a set back. I am looking at it as reaching a rest stop.. A resting place to take notice of where we were, where we are and what still needs to be done. Where we were? I NEVER want to go back... where we are? We are in a much better place. We are communicating, we are smiling and I do think we both appreciate each other more. And were we are going? I have recalibrated my mind and I think I can see a little shimmer of light coming though this fog I/We have been in for Sooooooo Loooong. I have a plan .. A direction I am heading..Little by little she is telling me things and I am finely hearing what she is really saying.
Got ta go Be back soon Doc
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
I see nothing but positive steps forward with your W. She is opening up to you about how she feels and in diong so she is not negative in what she says. She IS talking future with you.
Try to do some dates. Pick her up and take her out. "Start fresh"
Good luck on the interview, I'll keep all fingers and toes crossed for you.
Glad you had a great vacation with S.
JAK
PS: Nothing ever really goes as planned does it, because we can't read our spouse's mind and we can't force an outcome.
Last edited by JoJo's circus; 06/17/0901:22 PM.
You don't get to choose how you're going to die. Or when, you can only decide how you're going to live now. ~Joan Baez
