CIPA, Sorry to hear of your news. You can handle it. Coach
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
That old saying of "when it rains, it pours"....comes to mind about now. So sorry for everything seeming to hit you when you are down. That is what seems "unfair". I heard it said a long time ago that life is never fair, but God is always fair......He can't help but be fair. I think God gets blamed for a lot of "life's" unfairness. Not saying that you have done this, but people in general. Was thinking about you talking about that word and the first thing that came to my mind was that our definition and the dictionary's definition is probably different. I believe we think of fairness as being "just". Doesn't seem like any justice about you losing your job, does it? Times are getting hard for a lot of people. I agree that if you stay positive and place your faith in God to provide.....He will. Don't sit at home and worry about all this until it makes you sick, okay? Get out and hit the pavement (as they say). You will find something.
Take care, Sandi
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Dang I am so sorry...I'm not sure what you do but if I can help at all let me know, I do recruiting so maybe I can give resume advice or something...Try looking at the positives, I know easier said than done, you can spend more time with your kids right?
Volleydog,
Thanks for the offer for support. Unfortunately my career path has led to very limited choices due to outsourcing in the US. My most recent role was the VP of Operations for a global $100 Million company (headquartered in the US, with plants in US, France, Hungary and Japan). If you think you can help me, I can send you my resume.
You are right, I got to pick up my boys early today so I got to spend even more time with them (my wife was still sick so she had asked if I could watch them again).
Me 41 WAW 36 S 3&7 M 10 yrs W files D 1/9/09 W moves out 4/18 Lost job 6/15 New job 7/27 Disc PA 8/10 (started Nov 2008!) Confronted 8/11 Admits PA & appologies for hurt 9/11 Lost Job 11/13
Well, I see a lot of post about me suggesting that you go dark.
Some said I told you to go dark and some don't know. I was trying to explain to you what going dark was! You were the one that did not understand the difference between going dark, dropping the rope, and being detached meant. So, I see how I need to work on my writing skills.
Sandi,
I don't think it has anything to do with your writing skills, I think it's more that you are dealing with DAM.
I'm actually seeing how I've shifted from the DARK to the friendly approach (without taking the relationship blame/venting), my wife seems a little more at ease wtih me (although that has really only happened the past week so it's hard to say for sure).
I told her the news today and she was leveled. She wound up rushing home to see if I was Ok (I only have a cell phone and I had to leave that at work). I wasn't home yet as I was wrapping up some expense reports before I left. She called me to ask if I was Ok and wanted to know when I would get home.
I got home about 30 minutes later and the first things she said was that this does not change anything about our situation. I told her I don't expect it to, but do appreciate her being caring. She said that she cares as I am the father of the kids (a little cold, but I didn't make a big deal about it). She said that we should go get me a cell phone. Ordinarily, I would have just told her that I can get one myself, but I let her help me (basically we went to the store together).
We wound up having lunch together and on the way home, she put in all the contact numbers that she thought I would need into the new phone. I thanked her and told her that I did have to get going to go to a therapy appointment. She asked if I had called for it today, I told her no, I was continuing it weekly even though she had stopped going right before she moved out.
After the therapy appointment, I got a call from my mom. Turned out my wife called my mom. Then I got a call from a few close friends that had heard from my wife. First I was a little annoyed that my wife was telling so many folks, but these were people that I would have told anyway. I think part of what my wife was worried about that this would push me into a depression. She also knows that ordinarily I don't talk about my issues and keep them inside.
I had actually talked to my wife about it as I told her that if this had happened a few years ago, I think I would have been much more devastated as in the past I had put my job before everything. What I've learned is that a job is just a job, it is not as important as the people in our lives. I told her that I am glad that I've learned that lesson, but the price of that lesson has been very high.
She did start talking about how it's good to see/hear that I've learned and am learning.
She did wind up calling me a few times through out the afternoon/evening to see how I was doing and just to chat. I did tell the boys I had lost my job. My 3 year old didn't understand but my 7 year old started to cry saying that now we are going to lose the house even sooner. I told him that I will find another job and we will find a house together. No matter what house we are in, we will be a family and be together.
It sucks, but I truly feel that this is very minor compared to what happened with my wife's bomb in January. I will find another job, just a matter of how long it will take.
I will be strong to survive and thrive.....
Me 41 WAW 36 S 3&7 M 10 yrs W files D 1/9/09 W moves out 4/18 Lost job 6/15 New job 7/27 Disc PA 8/10 (started Nov 2008!) Confronted 8/11 Admits PA & appologies for hurt 9/11 Lost Job 11/13
I'm not sure if I can help my focus is IT but I know a lot people so I'm here...You are in my prayers I know it's a tough time but you CAN and WILL get through this and be better for it...read the quotes in my sig.
Me:40 W: 39 T: 17 years M: 15 years S-9 D-6 D final 11/10/2009
"We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as insoluble problems."
"I got home about 30 minutes later and the first things she said was that this does not change anything about our situation."
It's amazing how selfish our WASs can be. It's like our whole lives are wrapped around theirs. When I told my W I was at a risk of getting laid off, she just said 'oh' and then walked away. I felt as if she couldn't be bothered by my problems. Sheesh.
Your W really is acting odd. Just like how she told you that it doesn't change anything, she had no right to go into your business and tell everyone.
I feel for you. Are you going to be okay keeping your house?
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
Try to insulate your kids as much as you can. IMO they know too much about grown ups business right now- and you cannot use them for emotional support.
I feel for you. Are you going to be okay keeping your house?
Unfortunately not. Even if I had kept my job I would have only kept it for about 1.5 years. Now it will be under 1 year. With the markets the way they are, I will have to put it on the market soon. The real killer is how do I get a new place with np job
I know I just need to take it one step at a time
Thanks for your support
Me 41 WAW 36 S 3&7 M 10 yrs W files D 1/9/09 W moves out 4/18 Lost job 6/15 New job 7/27 Disc PA 8/10 (started Nov 2008!) Confronted 8/11 Admits PA & appologies for hurt 9/11 Lost Job 11/13
Well hang in there. Go out and get your mind off of things for awhile. I know it's easier said than done, but hey that's what we're all here for if you need the support.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
