Gonna Get Me A Mojo Hand

[AlexEN]

Mathematically-inclined as I am , I had forgotten about that book...

I think about cheese whenever Johnson's name comes up, but two other parables from that book are worth mentioning too...

The first one, which sounds a lot like the message that @Coach or @ForestGump consistently set forth, is... The path out of a valley appears when you choose to see things differently.

And, profound in its simplicity, a lesson we are all learning...
The pain in a valley can wake you up to a truth you have been ignoring.

...as it appears almost universally that each of us has realized our own "flaws" have contributed, at least in part, and not to condone the WAS's behavior, to the situations in which we now find ourselves...

Once we're awakened to that truth and DO choose to see things differently, we can leave the valley on our own...

[Gardener]

SP,

There's so much gd wisdom in that post, that I gotta read it a few more times to get it all and hopefully become a "lunatic", myself .

But in the meantime, I just took a break and went over to Borders and picked up Peaks and Valleys. Thanks. And thanks to whoever it was/they were who mentioned Hold on to Your N.U.T.s...picked that baby up, too.

[Sara]

Some advice for tomorrow...if possible. When you tell the kids how things will be, don't be definitive. Life is change. And what's decided today and can change over time. I recommend that the kids be apprised of what the short-term future holds, and let them know that the longterm future is still uncertain.

[antlers]

I'll have good thoughts for ya' SP. When we told our kids, it was an awful experience. But we maintained our composure. She talked to them first, with me sitting there...and then I talked to them, with her sitting there. I let my wife know ahead of time that I would not lie to our kids; I would not tell them that I wanted this, or that I was OK with it. And I didn't. I let them know, with her sitting there, that I did not want this, that I was not OK with it...and I was very sorry that it was happening. Kids are innocent victims in a thing like this. Decisions are made that affect their little lives adversely...for the rest of their lives...and they have no say-so in the matter. Kids are resilient...but it affects them in a bad way and there is no getting around it. The spouse who is leaving the relationship convinces themselves that they are doing nothing wrong, and that the kids will be fine. There is certainly a selfish side to the WAS as they only take themselves into consideration...they put their needs and wants above anybody else...including the children. That's just the way it is. It's a hard thing, especially when their are kids involved. Again, I'll have some good thoughts for you SP. Be dignified and strong my friend.

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Some advice for tomorrow...if possible. When you tell the kids how things will be, don't be definitive. Life is change. And what's decided today and can change over time. I recommend that the kids be apprised of what the short-term future holds, and let them know that the longterm future is still uncertain.

SP, are you guys telling the kids tomorrow? I must have missed that. If so, my earnest prayers are with you, my bruthaman. Just speak the truth, in love, and you cannot go wrong. Don't overpromise.

Puppy

[fb2]

While the "friendship" paradigm may be your best shot at minimizing your losses sometimes I wonder if it enables the WAW to walk away more esasily. They may even say "let's be friends" or "amicable D" or "you're better off without me" or something like that. Often there's an OM and they also want to be "friends". Ya, right!? But maybe your 'sitch' is mild in comparison so its OK to "hope" (though you also seem to be playing the dead march).

[Kettricken]

Read an article by John Le Carre called "The Madness of Spies" or something like that in an old New Yorker today; thought of you.

You figure out whether it was the author or the title; graveyard grin.

Seriously. I can't even imagine. My prayers are with you today.

[SmileysPerson]

It could have been worse.

I could have taken my Ka-Bar and gutted them.

[StrgMarvelousWmn]

It could have been worse.

I could have taken my Ka-Bar and gutted them.

So sorry, Smiley. My heart, as does yours, I am sure, aches for your babies.

Living God's blessings with grace and dignity~
SMW

[GFI2]

Smiley - I haven't had time to catch up with your developments apart from the last few posts - which I will do shortly - but I see that D-Day for you and your kids is imminent - my heart and best wishes come to you for this - one of the most difficult things you will ever face...

What I can offer; having gone through a similarly difficult thing a year ago...is that if you're BOTH strong in your love for your children and if you DON'T FOLD under the pressure of the situation you can carry it off with dignity...and that's the way to go...have you both got a "story" you can carry off? Smiley - this is going to be one of the most difficult things you have ever done...but you can do it...with honour, dignity and grace...

The important people here are your kids...not you, not your W...

But the way you deal with this is tremendously important...it sets the scene for your kids...as I'm sure you realise.

I don't know if this has happened or not yet - cos of clocks...!

My very very best wishes and love to you...

Best - and KBO -GFI