3. About two-thirds of unhappy spouses who avoided divorce ended up happily married five years later. The unhappiest marriages experienced the most dramatic turnarounds: 78% of adults who said their marriages were very unhappy and who avoided divorce ended up happily married five years later.
You see, it's better to be VERY unhappy than to be just regular unhappy. I think I would fall into this group.
SP, Got it. I did not read your earlier posts. Its good that you are feeling the pain - I wanted to be sure you were just not making light of the entire 'sitch' to numb the pain.
3. About two-thirds of unhappy spouses who avoided divorce ended up happily married five years later. The unhappiest marriages experienced the most dramatic turnarounds: 78% of adults who said their marriages were very unhappy and who avoided divorce ended up happily married five years later.
You see, it's better to be VERY unhappy than to be just regular unhappy. I think I would fall into this group.
It's an amazing statistic, isn't it? In Vegas they'd call it a "sucker's bet"... 1 out of 5 unhappy WAS will be happy in 5 years; but 4 out of 5 VERY unhappy AWAS who "do the work" will be happily married in 5 years... That's why "for the sake of the kids" is a perfectly valid reason... but for the fact that the statement alienates the WAS in the short-term, making the long-term never happen...
New: What a Weekend
H-48 WAW-49 M-22 S-14,9 D-11 EA disc.-11/07 PA disc.-3/08 EA2?-6/08 to ?
3. About two-thirds of unhappy spouses who avoided divorce ended up happily married five years later. The unhappiest marriages experienced the most dramatic turnarounds: 78% of adults who said their marriages were very unhappy and who avoided divorce ended up happily married five years later.
You see, it's better to be VERY unhappy than to be just regular unhappy. I think I would fall into this group.
I agree Sara, but how the heck do you get the WAS to see this and believe it and not have it be "pressure"?
Living God's blessings with grace and dignity~ SMW
M40/H36 T16/M14 4K B2/08 S4/08 current
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. I Corinthians 13:7
Just like Yin and Yang.. ya got the Mojo and the Ojom.
One grounds you, the other keeps you going. Allow both and you have the good days and bad, disjointed and whole, everything that life is about.
Congratulations on letting yourself feel 'it'.. for being part of such an open dialog, for expressing the ache within. It's exhausting.. but what rewards.
As tough as things get, just remember YOUR job as a father will never change. Hug those kids.
Useless advice: - Even though she said you could, don't pin it all on her. Just don't get into it. They're kids. Don't dump any more of adult probs into their world. One of my friends talked about how his dad discussed all his divorce problems with him as a teen. He wishes he never heard any of it. It was just too much weight.
- Counseling sessions for the kids are a good idea. They need a place to talk it out.
"My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand." Thich Nhat Hanh
3. About two-thirds of unhappy spouses who avoided divorce ended up happily married five years later. The unhappiest marriages experienced the most dramatic turnarounds: 78% of adults who said their marriages were very unhappy and who avoided divorce ended up happily married five years later.
You see, it's better to be VERY unhappy than to be just regular unhappy. I think I would fall into this group.
It's an amazing statistic, isn't it? In Vegas they'd call it a "sucker's bet"... 1 out of 5 unhappy WAS will be happy in 5 years; but 4 out of 5 VERY unhappy AWAS who "do the work" will be happily married in 5 years... That's why "for the sake of the kids" is a perfectly valid reason... but for the fact that the statement alienates the WAS in the short-term, making the long-term never happen...
Remember, every WAS believes that they are the one:
That is, their sitch is special and different and they are the one in 5 that would be happy D'd, and they are also the 1 in 5 that would unhappy staying and doing the work.
Their kids are also the statistical anomaly - the 1 in 4 (or whatever it is) that are not adversely affected by the D.
It is not that they don't believe the statistics, it is just that they choose to see the other side of the statistics ("See, some people are happier D'd!!!") and apply it to themselves.
Last edited by Thinker; 06/09/0901:23 PM.
Me 42, W 39, S8, S6, S2 M 11y, A & ILYBNILWY 11/08 Walking away from a bad situation.
3. About two-thirds of unhappy spouses who avoided divorce ended up happily married five years later. The unhappiest marriages experienced the most dramatic turnarounds: 78% of adults who said their marriages were very unhappy and who avoided divorce ended up happily married five years later.
You see, it's better to be VERY unhappy than to be just regular unhappy. I think I would fall into this group.
It's an amazing statistic, isn't it? In Vegas they'd call it a "sucker's bet"... 1 out of 5 unhappy WAS will be happy in 5 years; but 4 out of 5 VERY unhappy AWAS who "do the work" will be happily married in 5 years... That's why "for the sake of the kids" is a perfectly valid reason... but for the fact that the statement alienates the WAS in the short-term, making the long-term never happen...
Remember, every WAS believes that they are the one:
That is, their sitch is special and different and they are the one in 5 that would be happy D'd, and they are also the 1 in 5 that would unhappy staying and doing the work.
Their kids are also the statistical anomaly - the 1 in 4 (or whatever it is) that are not adversely affected by the D.
It is not that they don't believe the statistics, it is just that they choose to see the other side of the statistics ("See, some people are happier D'd!!!") and apply it to themselves.
