Hey LG...How are you doin' haven't seen you around in a while.
I wonder if she did also, I don't think she disliked it ...I didn't really see her much the rest of the weekend.
Quote:
Did you call her out on her lie?
No and I was torn on that, I WASN'T snooping but I didn't want her to think I was. I also figured what good was going to come out of it, she knows she lied and I'm almost 100% sure she knows I know.
Me:40 W: 39 T: 17 years M: 15 years S-9 D-6 D final 11/10/2009
"We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as insoluble problems."
Sounds like a good weekend except for the camping issue. Seems that is the rule with camping...something always breaks or malfunctions.
What is your next step?
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
Know that I'm reading along and catching up when I can... I'm with you, just not always actively posting. If you ever want my input, just yell. Otherwise, I promise to chime in when I think I might be of help.
I'm with Startingover... I'm also confused as to why she would lie. Some possibilities that I can think of:
1. She doesn't really want to go through with it, so she's keeping the letter on the "backburner" and is waiting to see what happens before keeping that court date. 2. She didn't want to ruin the nice time you were having together. 3. She has such a difficult time telling you about what's inside her head, that she is covertly planning a swift divorce, not allowing much time for discussion or debate with you. (I don't like this one, and I'm hoping that this isn't it.)
But, there we go guessing what's in someone else's head again. The only way you're going to achieve intimacy is to be intimate, open up, and discuss the 500 lb gorilla in the room. And pepper her with more of those daring kisses!
Funny thing is I haven't really thought much about the why it's just that she did...But now that you and SO2 brought it up...
out of your three possibilities...
I'd say number one is the most likely...NOT that I'm getting my hopes up...
Number two, not really since I had asked her the night before and that wouldn't have ruined anything she could have just told me she forgot, no big deal. The thing is I had told her last year to let me know if I'm going to get ANYTHING from her L or the courts just so I know it's coming, that's my only problem with this. If she forgot like I said no big deal to me.
Number three, can't happen court date is set for about six months out and can't do it any quicker than that.
The kissing thing I figured what the heck did I have to lose, if she pulled away or gave me a cheek no big deal, but it was my birthday and maybe that's why she let me...:)
Me:40 W: 39 T: 17 years M: 15 years S-9 D-6 D final 11/10/2009
"We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as insoluble problems."
I think you might just knock her socks off if you start stealing kisses once in a while... Don't try to guage if she will be receptive. If you're having a nice time and "feeling it," why not?
Another hat in the ring says, yeah! for the kiss! Go for it! I agree with your thoughts about the possibilities raised. Being the spouse, you have heard me go back and forth with my H as he works through his sobriety. (altho I probably lean more towards being open to the R) Seems to me that with an outside date set, she is looking to see what happens between now and then. The first time H got sober in 2007 and relapsed after 6 weeks we talked about D. My L explained how it all worked and what choices I had including starting the process and letting it sit until I wanted to go forward or not at all. Seems like she may be taking the slow route for a reason.
I guess I am leaning more towards keep trying like you are but still asking her to be upfront in what her plans are.
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
So Tuesday I get an email from her asking if I had some chairs, she uses them when she takes D to soccer...I had them forgot to tell her I took them, no big deal. So I call her and tell her I'll bring them to her, never realized I work only about 10 minutes from one of her offices...So I take her the chairs we chat for about 15-20 minutes...Was kind of stupid she have asked her if she wanted to grab some lunch, I knew she couldn't Tuesdays are her busiest days...anyway should have asked regardless...
Yesterday met her and kids at D's Tball game nice interaction played catch with S so that was fun.
W is taking D camping on Friday to a little park, it's sponsored by the city's parks and rec dept. She telling me how it's going to be hard to lug all the stuff she's going to need...I jokingly say well it wouldn't have been a problem if you invited me...DEAD SILENCE...She then goes on to say she's probably just going to bring the wagon...
She ask me if on Friday I could watch S for about an hour he's going camping with a friend and she's not sure how she can get to park and get S off...I told her maybe I had plans after work but I might be able to come by...She NEVER asks what my plans are
Me:40 W: 39 T: 17 years M: 15 years S-9 D-6 D final 11/10/2009
"We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as insoluble problems."
...I didn't really see her much the rest of the weekend.