I dont know about a mistake - I think people and relationships are so individual, its impossible to say. maybe it will work, an if your a faithful man, then you may have the view that 'giving it up to god' is the best possible thing you can do for YOU...
pup not everyone has the fighting "gimme your best shot" dancing pose we do in life *grins* and sometimes I do wonder if I'd be better off the same, I bet I woulda missed a lot of emotional 'black eyes' LOL.
good luck in either case... hold onto you.
When you're down to nothing, God is up to something.
Hey Guys, I just wanted to update everyone...The calls are still going on and my wife still has not decided what she wants to do with the relationship...I have changed myself into someone I really enjoy now and IDK what else to do...I just know that I have written proof that something did happen with her due to an email I was able to gain access to and I am following the DR as much as i can...I had a great 4th today with the kids and am Blessed to have had a safe 4th...I had to come back to this forum today bc I had thoughts in my head to expose this affair to everyone at her work and her family so that I am not looked at as the bad guy here..but after re reading this forum I won't do that...
M:35 W:36 M:10 yrs T:11.5 yrs C: B7, G3 ED: 3/09 DB: 3/20/09 Served 12-8-09 Still going through the process
Hey Guys, I just wanted to update everyone...The calls are still going on . . . I just know that I have written proof that something did happen with her due to an email I was able to gain access to ...
Puppy, I read your thread in the other forum and I believe there will be a time and place for this...I have already told her that I trusted her, So now I am going to re neg on me trusting her..Look at how that sounds??? I am just perplexed and getting alot of info right now...
M:35 W:36 M:10 yrs T:11.5 yrs C: B7, G3 ED: 3/09 DB: 3/20/09 Served 12-8-09 Still going through the process
NOTHING....NOTHING at all....That is the Shi--- part about it....I guess I am and have been the nice guy all this time that now I have to be a hard ass about things...I was taught to respect women but heck If I cant respect myself then what? I am not going to let her walk over me anymore...I just need help doing it correctly and not being an a-- about it...
M:35 W:36 M:10 yrs T:11.5 yrs C: B7, G3 ED: 3/09 DB: 3/20/09 Served 12-8-09 Still going through the process
Jman, it's not about being "nice" vs. being a "hard-ass." It's about strength and consistency. About setting (and enforcing) healthy boundaries for yourself, and standing up for yourself.
I personally am not big on all the self-help psychological gobbledegook. "Speak the truth, in love" has always served me well.
Someone asked Ronald Reagan once if he trusted the Soviets. He said that one should "trust, but verify." I think that's about right.
Jman, it's not about being "nice" vs. being a "hard-ass." It's about strength and consistency. About setting (and enforcing) healthy boundaries for yourself, and standing up for yourself.
Puppy
I agree. I still think I try to be a good & fair person, but not let people walk all over me in the process. Self-defense kind of instead of aggression.
Is there examples in the forums that anyone knows about that relates to confronting their spouse when they deny having an A and the fact of confronting them when the A is going on?
M:35 W:36 M:10 yrs T:11.5 yrs C: B7, G3 ED: 3/09 DB: 3/20/09 Served 12-8-09 Still going through the process
