WAW - Very confused and devastated - pt 10

[confusedinpa]

Yes saying Hi and Bye is the polite thing to do. Just treat her like you would a friend.

What did your son tell her? Did he say anything about missing her or that she doesn't answer the phone, etc.?

Yeah, I thought saying that would be the right thing to do. Maybe it's the resentment that was building up in me, but I just wasn't in the mood to fake that I was happy to call her. I don't think I was angry, but more that I didn't want to deal with the hurt/pain/frustration. Guess I'm just tired. Or the fact that I had a pretty good couple of days (since I the boys were with me) and didn't want to get derailed.

I guess it was just "listening to the little boy in me" and being childish. I gotta keep an eye out for that.

My 7 year old didn't say much at first. I could tell he was anxious as the phone rang. He just said that he was in bed. My wife asked how his day was and even dropped how was yesterday since she hadn't talked to him (not sure if that was a dig at me, but I didn't take the bait). He answered about his field trip and where we went for dinner tomorrow. I thought it was odd how she asked what we were doing tomorrow. He told her and she just said that sounded fun. Then my 3 year old got on the phone and rambled like most 3 year olds do.

Oddly, only my 7 year old said love you when my wife said it. My 3 year old just said bye.

Go figure.

I'll make sure I at least said Hi and Bye when I call next time. I guess even a 40 year old can act very childish at times....

Now why aren't you out getting a life? I have the kids so that's my excuse, but you should be doing something better than being on this forum on a Friday nite. There, I've finally got a chance to throw a 2x4 back your way (I've got quite a collection from you over the last 5 months)

Take care Stuck, hope you figure out what to do in your situation. Unfortunately, it sounded like mine was right before she moved out, although yours has additional complications. I know if there's anyone that can work that through, it's you!

[antlers]

If the kids called themselves, then there is no need for you to talk to her...period, unless you have something to say to her about the kids.

[MrBond]

Ah well I am planning to GAL. However where I am it's not even 5 yet, so I'm wrapping up a few things at work.

I do have a busy schedule planned so I'll be out there. You take care this weekend too.

[confusedinpa]

Ah well I am planning to GAL. However where I am it's not even 5 yet, so I'm wrapping up a few things at work.

I do have a busy schedule planned so I'll be out there. You take care this weekend too.

DANG IT! I thought I could finally throw a 2x4 your way. Guess you'll just have to throw it back at me. DUH!

Enjoy your Friday nite! Six hours behind - isn't that in Hawaii? Must be nice this time of year. Then again, isn't it nice most of the year anyway?

[MrBond]

It really is beautiful here. Today was a picture-perfect blue sky and blue ocean. I work about a block away from the beach, so I can see whales sometimes swimming by.

Your kids would definitely like it out here.

[confusedinpa]

It really is beautiful here. Today was a picture-perfect blue sky and blue ocean. I work about a block away from the beach, so I can see whales sometimes swimming by.

Your kids would definitely like it out here.

I don't even want to think about it.

My wife and I went to Maui for our honeymoon. I was planning our 10 year anniversary trip back there. I really hope I get that chance.

I think Spellfire is from Hawaii too - although I haven't heard from him in a while. Guess that's a good thing. He's making it.

Hard to imagine these types of heartache in a place so beautiful. I'm actually starting to struggle just thinking about it the time there with my wife. Sigh.

Enjoy your islands and the weekend when you GAL! I will enjoy mine with my boys...

Take care

[Kittyfish]

Stuck-

You're in Hawaii? We went to Oahu last year. Beautiful!

[confusedinpa]

It was a pretty good day with the boys, although they really pushed it when it came to going to bed.

We went bowling in the morning. We had a really good time.

My wife called us in the middle of it. Out of habit, I answered it. I gotta break that habit. She told me that a local ice cream place was giving out free ice cream between 12 and 5. I maintained a very upbeat and positive game face on during the entire call. I thanked her and then the boys talked to her. My 3 year old passed me back the phone. She said that she saw the ad late last nite, but didn't want to call that late.

This is where I know I slipped up. I should have just thanked her again and hung up, but wound up saying I was up pretty late last nite, so if something comes up late at nite, don't be worried about calling. DUH! Could that be any more needy/pursuing that that?!?!?!

I did manage to pull it back and say have a great day and ended the call.

She wound up texting me a little while later. I waited about 25 minutes to answer back. She then sent another one. I looked at it and decided there wasn't any response required so I didn't answer it.

Anyway, after bowling I made lunch while the boys played outside. While my 3 year old took his nap, I got to spend some one on one time with my 7 year old playing video games. After my 3 year old woke up, he asked about baking a cake. He did that last Weds at school, so he wanted to do it again.

I had never done that with them before so I figured what the heck, how hard could it be. We went to the store to pick out a cake mix and the stuff that went into it. The three of us made it together and while it baked in the oven, we all played in the yard. When it was done, I let the boys put the icing on it while I made dinner. I think almost 1/2 of the icing actually made it to the cake. It was a good time.

There were a few low moments during the cake baking though. My 7 year old asked why we weren't using the mixer that mommy usually used. I just said we were just using what we got. He just said oh and I heard him say to the 3 year old that mommy took it. This happened again for a couple of other things too (i.e. cake pan, icing knife, etc.) I tried not let it get me down.

The kids ate their dinner really quickly to try and get to dessert. They both said it was the best cake ever. I think that was the highlight of the day.

After baths, we played for a bit, read some books, and watched a video. It was about 30 minutes past their bed time before I actually put them to bed. We were having such a good time, I didn't want it to end as my wife is picking them up tomorrow morning.

My wife hadn't called up to that point and last time she talked to them in the morning, she had said that she didn't need to talk to them twice in the day, so we hadn't called her. When I put my boys to bed, after the needing water, then bathroom stall tactics, my 3 year old said he needed to tell mommy something. I told them that it was really late and we need to get to bed. We're going to call mommy, but no more messing around.

I was actually worried that she wouldn't be home, and the boys (and I) would be down because of it.

We called and I let the boys say hello and start talking. At the end, I did say good bye.

Now the kids are in bed.

I'm mulling over how I had gotten annoyed with boys' last stall tactic of wanting to tell mommy something. I had really gotten annoyed. Not sure if it was that I thought they were messing around or if it was because they asked to talk to her (first time ever). Perhaps I'm over analyzing it. Who knows.

So it now concludes week 7 since she moved out and 5 months since she told me she filed for divorce.

I still want her back but I know I will be still survive and thrive without her. It still hurts and I'm a little worried about tomorrow. Most of my buddies are out of town. There is one that's around this weekend, but I had seen them last Sun and Tues as well. I'm worried about wearing out my welcome so I'm hoping I'll be able to keep it together so I don't have to bug them again.

I was actually doing fine until they asked to talk to her. Why did it bug me that much?!?!

This is crap, but I'm still ok for now.

[confusedinpa]

I am sooooo weak

She sent me a text about 15 minutes after she talked to the boys. I just noticed it 5 minutes ago.

It said

"Apparently (movie title) still makes me cry"

It was the movie she and I watched when we first started dating. She cried during it. I had never met a girl that was so emotional like that and it touched me but also scared me. I didn't understand it but I think that's when I started to think of her of more than just a holiday fling

Anyway, I wound up replying

"Awwwwwww" 3 hours after she sent it, but 5 minutes after I saw it. I thought about appologizing for how long it took for me to reply, but rememberd Sandi's challenge of trying not to say sorry.

In hindsight I shouldn't have replied but it really touched a memory in me. We had talked about that moment a few times since the bomb. Don't know why she brought it up tonite again.

Guess its her controlling to pull my strings again

Or it was her way to reach out to me to reconnect

Or it was the only thing good on tonite

I sooooo want to call her and tell her I love her

Good thing its so late, that I'm sure she's sleeping

Argh!! It still hurts!!!

[antlers]

I sooooo want to call her and tell her I love her

Don't do that, man! Believe me...she already knows how you feel!