As far as your military retirement...aren't you Reserve/Guard? She will get half when you reach age 60. You can't get a lump sum payment or be required to pay off a spouse for it!! Isn't it the same for your Teacher retirement?
Hey there FL - I saw those posts many moons ago! And yes, you HAVE come a long way. I don't get here often either. Life gets in the way.
One thing about your pension "value" estimate. You need to get the details about that estimate. Is it the total sum of the monthly estimated payments over your remaining estimated life? If so, then that would have to be discounted back to a present value to be considered value. $1 in 20 years is not worth $1 today. I agree with the post that tells you to get your own estimate.
That would certainly be worth the money you spend. Glad to hear you're doing well!
My x's atty finally accepted the amount that the state said was the value of my retirement - it was very little. It was NOT the actual amount that it will be worth - part of it is that I'm not vested or something....
I hope it works out for you - are you getting your own numbers as suggested?
....So.....today, I'm a millionaire living in the 9th floor of an inner city apartment!....
Hey now, wait a minute. I hope this is really a sense of humor and not the martyr talk masking as a sense of humor. I've heard that martyr talk before and we'll have none of that!
If we really want to love, we must learn how to forgive. - Mother Theresa
I remember the mediator turning to me and saying, "yes, you would be better off asking for a lump sum of H's retirement". Then in the next breath she said to my H, "you do NOT want to pay out a lump sum." It just depends on which side of the fence you are sitting on.
Does your wife have a retirement account? Make sure you get half of that!
It's been a while since I've posted, and I think that'a a good thing. There was a time when I visited here hourly, so that's growth.
Things continue to go really well with Gym Woman. Beyond anything I thought I'd ever find in life. Maybe STBX was right a while ago when she said "We should never have gotten married". While Michelle thinks most marriages can be saved, maybe some shouldn't be.
I'm going on 7 months, and so far, she is the kindest, nicest woman I've ever met. The fact that her former husband did the same thing to her seems to have made her fiercely protective of a good relationship,and I feel the same.
STBX once said she was "Miserable because of the marriage". Guess what....wait for it...."SHE'S MORE MISERABLE THAN EVER!!!"
She keeps information from the kids from me, and expects me to grovel for any information about D16s eating disorder recovery, and then when a new piece of information is revealed, she accuses me of not being involved.
Just last September, I found out D19 was pregnant when I was in Iraq. I asked STBX "Why didn't you tell me?" She responded "I didn't feel it was my place" WHAT?
EVERY email attacks me in some way. I went after her. I'd been too passive and a 200 pound doormat for 20 years.
I told her in an email that while being so "concerned" about the kids "she continues to have a sordid affair with a married guy, still living at home with his wife wearing a wedding ring that wasn't his, and not having the bal&s or the decency to divorce his wife".
She's a bully. An angry, miserable bully.
In the latest twist, she asked me to take the rest of the stuff out of the house that I crrently pay the mortgage on. She said she had a dumpster coming in August, and anything "I didn't take would be tossed"
Fair enough. I went there Saturday at the agreed upon time, and started going through my footlocker from Iraq, only taking some of my stuff, she stated "ALL OF YOUR STUFF NEEDS TO BE GONE TODAY. YOU'RE NOT GOING TO LEAVE ME WITH ANY OF YOUR STUFF TO THROW AWAY. I'LL CHARGE YOU FOR MY TIME AND THE COST". That's not what the email implied. It implied she would toss what I didn't take. Another "Improvised Spouse Device" Never know where it's hidden, when it will detonate, and how big the charge is!
When I told her "Fine, start the clock", she demanded that I leave immediately. I did. What a whack job!
She will allow D17 to pick up S11 from school in Smarmy's Jeep, but D17 is not allowed to use the Jeep to help me in any way, such as picking up S11 during early dismissals from school toward the end of the school year, like today, or drive to my house on my days with the kids.
She really goes out of her way to assure that I will hate her forever.
