SP...I've been trying to figure out how to do that exact thing. Problem is W doesn't really eat lunch much at least not out of the office. I believe she is in the same field as you and Mrs.SP so she usually just grabs what the reps drop off then back to work. Don't think I could ever pull it off for a dinner since that would require babysitter ect...
Me:40 W: 39 T: 17 years M: 15 years S-9 D-6 D final 11/10/2009
"We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as insoluble problems."
I think Smiley has a good suggestion. Figure out something that doesn't sound like a date.
I believe you can call your county recorder's office and see if anything has been filed. Doesn't sound like she has, but if it puts your mind at ease you can call.
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
I believe you can call your county recorder's office and see if anything has been filed. Doesn't sound like she has, but if it puts your mind at ease you can call.
I don't think it matters one way or the other, plus I'm 99% sure she'd tell me.
This may be a stupid question but W and I belong to the same pool. When I don't have the K's I still go just to read and whatnot. I try and sit where I don't think they would see me, not trying to hide but just figure it's her time and I don't want to infringe on that. Last weekend about a half hour before I left I saw her with K's didn't say anything just left when i was ready. Should I have said something? I don't want my kids to see me and think I'm ignoring them...Like I said stupid but stupid things sometimes occupy my mind.
Me:40 W: 39 T: 17 years M: 15 years S-9 D-6 D final 11/10/2009
"We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as insoluble problems."
Excuse me V - but you are missing a few marbles I think - if you are both there at the same time a)go up to her ask if she minds you sitting with the family, b)ask her when she is going or call her when you are going to see about meeting there, c) continue to co-exist awkwardly in front of the K and whole world. Excellent opportunity on the spot or in advance.
I would check on whether she filed or not and I certainly would let her know that things seem turned around- can we talk about where we are going or what comes next?
And if I come on too strong just holler back at me - I can take it.
You can tell I am much in favor of talking things out in the open or at least let the other person what's on my mind and allow them to consider a response then or later. You are sooooo expecting a bad outcome. Think about what you would do if you were positive.
Perhaps ask if you can schedule MC to discuss next step.
a)go up to her ask if she minds you sitting with the family, b)ask her when she is going or call her when you are going to see about meeting there, c) continue to co-exist awkwardly in front of the K and whole world. Excellent opportunity on the spot or in advance.
I just don't want to put her in a position where she feels like she has to let me hang out. I've thought about b, which I think is the best option. C there is no awkwardness since the place is huge and when they're there I know where they'll sit, it's sort of the "family section" I'm in the "single people section".
I really don't care if she has or hasn't filed sure I could call today and find out but it really doesn't matter, I'm sure to find out when she does.
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You are sooooo expecting a bad outcome.
I think you're right about this sort of it's more afraid of a bad outcome so I don't do anything as far as the M.
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You can tell I am much in favor of talking things out in the open or at least let the other person what's on my mind and allow them to consider a response then or later.
You're right of course.
This morning on her way to work she calls me which is soooo unusual. She's sounding upset and couldn't quite get going with her thoughts...I'm thinking uh oh...She tells me last night someone cut three branches off a little (and I mean little) sapling I planted for her. She's really upset and so am I what the heck is wrong with people. To cut branches off a two foot tree...Anyway she's ok now just po'd.
Me:40 W: 39 T: 17 years M: 15 years S-9 D-6 D final 11/10/2009
"We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as insoluble problems."
She wants to be your friend. She wants things to be friendly. Who wouldn't in either situation of divorced or together? It's the ideal situation. This is how my first exh and I talk. You are familiar. You are safe. Once again, not saying its an indicator of her feelings but just trying to get you to understand so you don't judge things like this as an indicator of the future.
I am still voting for the open communication in your sitch.
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
SO2 thanks and I completely understand that the thing is we were friendly before for the last year + it's just been in the last few weeks that she's been doing things that she hasn't done for over a year.
I'm all cool with the friendly, no problem. Even when/if we D I'll be friendly. I just need to man up and ask her what's going on, in a nice way or maybe just ask how things are coming with the work she is doing on a settlement.
Me:40 W: 39 T: 17 years M: 15 years S-9 D-6 D final 11/10/2009
"We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as insoluble problems."
I'm all cool with the friendly, no problem. Even when/if we D I'll be friendly. I just need to man up and ask her what's going on, in a nice way or maybe just ask how things are coming with the work she is doing on a settlement.
I think thats a great idea! If YOU ask her how things are going she may ask herself wtf is going on!? Almost like you are ok either way. Try it. You never know. It may knock her off the fence.
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
