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Originally Posted By: Dr LOve
I have soooo much happening right now that traveling the path of least resistance in my marriage is the best option.
...
My w has an affair and then thinks that was in the past and now we are back to "normal"
...
I am hoping to find the time to get some things resolved in my marriage before the trip to give my wife something to think about while we are gone. When we get back I will have two more weeks of work and then will be starting a new chapter in my life. I want to start it fresh with NO excess baggage left over from this chapter.
Hi Doc, Certainly do give yourself some "time off" from the R stuff, nobody can keep at it full steam 110% for months on end without imploding.

But you are right, you don't want to go back to "normal" - if that means the way things were before. Regardless of who walked and who didn't, neither of you was really happy back then. Aim much higher than that for the future of your R, and expect much more from yourself and from W (realizing of course, that it may take a while to get there). You are on the right path, keep on keepin' on.


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22 year M, MLC, Piecing since 1/07
Goal: Live with confidence & enthusiasm!
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Doc,

It sounds like positives to me. Keep up the great job and have fun with your Son. Hugs and kisses good for you!

JAK

Last edited by JoJo's circus; 05/27/09 03:23 PM.

You don't get to choose how you're going to die. Or when, you can only decide how you're going to live now. ~Joan Baez
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Doc,
I definitely see improvement in your M, just remember Rome wasn't built in day. Keep on being you.

Hugs




Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are.
-- Bernice Johnson Reagon


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Thanks YoYo,

I think the improvements in my marriage are a by product of the improvements in me.
Like I said earlier I am kind of on cruse control right now. I will be unemployed soon. This is something I have never been.
My life is about to start a new chapter. I DO NOT WANT TO CARRY ANY excess baggage with me to my "New Chapter"
One change (though small) is I found my voice.
As you know in the past my wife and I have a Communication problem of "avoidance". We don't talk about uncomfortable things we have in our relationship. And you know me Mr. E-mail / letter writer......
Well if you read earlier I finely apologized to wife for accusing her of going through my stuff and taking "The Picture". So this was a double whammy for wife. One was the accusation and the other was the "content" of that picture.. Both uncomfortable things. NORMALY once I wrote the letter she would not respond and I would have left it at that. Yesterday when the package arrived with the Jeep parts I ordered and the pink shirt I ordered for her I went to her office to open it. Before I opened it I asked her if she accepted my apology. She answered "Oh... Yes" kind of matter of factly.(is that a word teach?)..Not in a quiet voice indicating I annoyed her with the question.. So I said "in that case I got you something" and I opened the box and gave her the shirt.
She liked it. I mean she did not jump up and down and hug me and kiss me and rip my shirt off like it... but she liked it.
I know Rome was no built in a day, but like I said there is a Small talk in the near future coming up. I NEED COMITMENT. I am not going to start my next chapter feeling unsecure in my marriage AND looking for a job.
The time is coming to get on board for this new adventure or bail.. No hanging on to the side..

Well Got ta go..Only working a half day today using up my vacation time..(They pay it out if I didn't but it is taxed 1/3 as a bonus)

Thanks YoYo We need to meet someday I would be more than happy to have “detention” with ya

XOXOXO

Doc


And if I claim to be a wise man, well
It surely means that I don't know
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Detention huh? watch out for him yoyo... \:\)


me: 37
H: 44
Married for 18 years this june
S7
S3
porn issues, and much more... since 7/06

Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
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Yoyo,Sara,Saffie and IRish,

you have mail


And if I claim to be a wise man, well
It surely means that I don't know
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Hi Doc,

I got your email. Let me think on it and I'll reread it and tell you my thoughts tomorrow evening. Right now, I'm really tired. I had a workshop today. I've got a workshop tomorrow and Wed. Friday was the last day of school, but we have to do 2 summer workshops. I found 3 I liked and plus I could get them over at the beginning of the summer.

Hugs




Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are.
-- Bernice Johnson Reagon


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No problem teach. I'm not going anywhere..least not till Sunday

Doc


And if I claim to be a wise man, well
It surely means that I don't know
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Doc,

How are things going in your Life right now?

JAK


You don't get to choose how you're going to die. Or when, you can only decide how you're going to live now. ~Joan Baez
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Hey Jak,

Well.....................................

Work really sucks. I feel like the redheaded step child. I only have till the end of this month.
They keep trying to get as much out of me as they can. But I am using up my vacation time and only working 1/2 days on Fridays. Except today I stayed home because I was supposed to get a tooth capped. BUT..... The dentist started on that this was $500.00 and this was $1000.00 and so on till it got to $5000.00. It was a back tooth so I asked how much just to pull it? $300.00 I said "pull it".. Don't worries I don't look like someone from Arkansas.. It is the back molar and ya can't see it. Soo I had that to deal with.
And my side business of firewood is taking off. Lots of work though for a 1 legged guy. It great "extra" money but there is no way I could make a living off of it.
My son graduates 6th grade tomorrow wow junior high already. Before you know it he will want to drive the mustang..
AND Next week my son and I are going on our yearly Father and son trip to the sand dunes up in eureka. (Don’t worry there is WIFI so I will keep ya up to date..
As for my marriage. IT't good. Things are really pleasant.
Not great, Not what I want.. But ok. I mean wife went to the store and got my pills today. She called the doctor and asked what I could eat so she made a special "soft" dinner tonight for us. But I am afraid. I am afraid if we continue any longer living in the same house in different rooms the only thing that will happen is we will grow apart. I have a plan. I will update ya all latter
Thanks for asking about me Jak there is so much going on right now.. Oh ya wife has started "curves" it's a women’s GYM. Now with my job loss I think we need to watch our money but if this brings her self esteem up then I say go for it.

Ok got ta run Son and I are building a Model rocket to launch during our vacation next week

Bye
Doc

One way to get the most out of life is
to look upon it as an adventure.
William Feather


And if I claim to be a wise man, well
It surely means that I don't know
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