Doesn't that go beyond "friend" and into tricky territory?
Nope. Loving is what a friend does. Sure, it will be "tricky", as you say, if the R is in disarray but that doesn't preclude either party from loving (Love in the action verb sense of the word).
Cheers ~~~
Oh, it was the "husband" part that I thought was tricky more than the "loving" part.
For now, I'd rather tamp down the Expectations and just go with what seems to be working. Day-by-day, meter-by-meter, step-by-step.
At a minimum, this will allow me to recalibrate, adjust, reset, revise, re-what-ever-I-need-to-do in the event things move Southwards without nearly as much psychic anguish as I'd have if I went through "but I was doing so good!"
Bingo!
...but easier said than done.
Good luck. I share exactly the same problem - It has just taken me longer to realize it.
Me 42, W 39, S8, S6, S2 M 11y, A & ILYBNILWY 11/08 Walking away from a bad situation.
Some DB'er somewhere once wrote something to the effect that when you get a good word from WAS you shouldn't jump to Cloud Nine and when you get a sour word you shouldn't jump off a bridge.
Some DB'er somewhere once wrote something to the effect that when you get a good word from WAS you shouldn't jump to Cloud Nine and when you get a sour word you shouldn't jump off a bridge.
That's called being detached.
or in the words of Schnarch "Differentiated"
- The ability to calmly hold onto yourself (your emotions, your beliefs) even when in close contact with someone who is both important to you and disagreeing with you.
Me 42, W 39, S8, S6, S2 M 11y, A & ILYBNILWY 11/08 Walking away from a bad situation.
Journal entry - late afternoon mojo drain, brought on by txt convo w/ WAW re: shopping at Giant Supply Retailer (the retailer where everything is giant). Asked Herself if she needed anything - no, I'll just take half of what you get - which wasn't a bad little quip, really, but it did serve as a reminder of what's coming. The next 2 weeks are going to be quick ones to be sure and so will be the following 2. Had to listen to my theme song a couple times to generate fresh mojo.
Woods. Not out of them yet. Naval types with a historical bent will understand when I say we're still @ Battle of the Coral Sea phase here. Midway (and Stalingrad) are still a ways off...
To use your metaphor take your lessons in toughness from the Aussies and Yanks at Coral Sea and your tenacity from the Russians in Stalingrad. Use it all to be the best Smiley you can be.
It will go fast. Maybe you'll end up kind of like me wondering why if we're so friendly are we dividing our houses?
"My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand." Thich Nhat Hanh
No, nothing like that. Mostly thinking about the way the kids are going to feel. Or I guess "projecting" is the more accurate word.
We were joking today about how easy it's going to be to fill out Emergency Contact forms for the kids, now that we won't be on planes together. Then WAW said, "Well we might get taken out in traffic during our Retrouvaille weekend."
So the idea's still in her head, at least at some level. It could have been a bone tossed to me, though I don't think so.
No, the mojo was drained when I thought about how empty things will / could seem to the kids -- Mom's closet all empty, etc.
Anyway, fired up my Theme Song a couple times, did some push-ups (hooah), went to the supermarket -- nothing like fresh produce to mojogenerate LOL (ooooo! squash!) -- and then did the end-of-day dad thing.
Totally unrelated query -- anyone out there know anything about German pistol grips for a fencing foil? Advantage/disadvantage over the Belgian? (Aside from the obvious historical snark.....)
I'm grouchy this morning. I sat down to do the June To-Do, and there's SO MUCH carried over from March and April and May -- especially March, the first full post-bomb month. It's actually got me angry at WAW. I feel like she's stolen time from me along with everything else.
Need to rummage around in my storage boxes in the garage and find that one mojo I got in Nawlins a couple years ago. May need to go online and pick up some more.
I don't know why this didn't occur to me before -- I suppose it was because I was so deeply into the whole thing. But damn, it's like being Rip Van Winkle or something.
