It's a _great_ thing that circumstances are forcing you to be moderately unavailable! He needs to work to re-engage with you, so don't do it all for him! You are the prize, and he needs to "win" you!
Don't lose sight of this and the fact you are in a "NEW" relationship which has a different set of rules and actions.
Gosh.. thanks guys! Dawn.. I will be free Monday!! So, I DID end up making myself avaible, as he wanted to see me, but then I was too tired to do much tonight anyway.
Rob.. yes, it IS a new R... we just did something I dont think we ever did.. we cuddled on the sofa, chatting, but mainly kissing and snogging like teenagers for an hour!
So I dashed home to get ready and had to cook when he arrived. We had a nice snog at the door.... but again, it was me that started it, like at his house. He was just hellbent on squeezing and hugging me (he keeps doing that, like its a comfort to him, or a relief or something, accompanied by "mmm" noises). So as I cooked, he insisted on unloading and reloading my dishwasher, cleaning out the cat bowls, checking out my dodgy bike brakes, cleaning the sideboards.. when I sat down to eat, he then washed up all the oven dishes and glasses I havent had time to touch..(his LL is Acts of Service!).
He said, "I hope you dont mind me doing this? You know how I like a nice tidy up" (LOL!).. I made sure to say, no and of course thanked him alot. He made me several cups of tea whilst I ate and he chatted to me.
Then, I had to glue the pages for my book.. I was worried I was boring company, but he persuaded me to do it and helped...he weighted the book with his toolbox.. which as he said, was still in the cupboard. He also went through some cupboards looking for some extension cables I didnt even know were there.
The whole evening was like he had never left. EXCEPT, he didnt take his shoes off. And when we were snogging, I was being pretty keen but he pulled back and had to tell me he wouldnt be staying the night. He had said he felt poorly (again!) and added that he "didnt feel very sexy".. which worried me. I must have pulled some kind of face at being rejected physically, because he said "oh no! I've embarressed you now and I really dont want to do that".. and then proceeded to snuggle up to me for more kisses before leaving.
So.. I was just honest and real and probably reacted in all the wrong ways, but as I was then concerned for him being ill, he did a lovely thing that I have missed, which of course he would do at times over the years.. he lent his head on my chest and I wrapped both my arms around him and kissed his head alot. It was all just very loving really. But didnt seem to be much passion there. Should I be worried!???
Sorry for the long post! I'm not sure how this is going so far. Good and bad and just very very wierd. Nothing said so far. I smile alot. He worries about me.. like my work, my back, my house.. I stubbed my toe.. and every little thing I just smile and say "Oh, I'm fine!".. which is 1,080 for me, but I am fine!
I just smile and say "Oh, I'm fine!".. which is 1,080 for me, but I am fine!
ROTFLMAO
Except for pulling a face when he said he was leaving, I think the whole thing was very positive! If he's depressed and going off the meds, of COURSE he doesn't feel passionate! DON'T take it personally!
SO many positives! Just focus on that!
Michelle - Proud DR Rockette S: 28JUL07, D'd: 29OCT09 http://tinyurl.com/27j9qo2
I had sent you this nice note this morning and of course right then they decide to upgrade the system and poof it is gone!! Figures.
I have read "The 5 people you meet in heaven." It is a good and quick read. I think you are doing well. College is allowing you time to not be available(and adding a bit of mystery too ) Enjoy yourself and don't worry about every face you make or every comment. I am sure he isn't analyzing it that much.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
I had sent you this nice note this morning and of course right then they decide to upgrade the system and poof it is gone!! Figures.
I have read "The 5 people you meet in heaven." It is a good and quick read. I think you are doing well. College is allowing you time to not be available(and adding a bit of mystery too ) Enjoy yourself and don't worry about every face you make or every comment. I am sure he isn't analyzing it that much.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Thanks girls!! Michelle, K, Mish, Lisa, Kat, you've been here all along and its lovely that you are wishing me well. I thikn we are going to be fine. I would sincerely doubt we would split up again anytime over the next few years, beyond that, who knows, I cant 'see' that far ahead, but so far, all is going wonderfully well.
Kat, that was the book K originally sent me, but we thikn it got stolen . Thanks for the reminder.. he seems pretty relaxed and not at all bothered by any of my actions/faces.. yesterday I said a meek sorry for something and again, he took my face in his hands and said "Please, please stop saying sorry. You have absolutely nothing to be sorry for at all. Please dont apologise anymore" and kissed me.
But, its like neither of us have any desire to rake over the past, and to be honest I sort of cant be bothered! It will happen in time, just like Jody said, later on, when we are more settled and its 'safe' to.
Sometimes little thoughts enter my head.. like in bed, we are constantly entwined sleeping and on waking.. and I thikn, so, did you wrap your arms and legs around Helen like this and kiss her face? And I want to ask..then I know I cant (?) and then I think, I doubt it, so whats the point in upsetting him by asking?
His friend put his foot in it last night.. he said, oh I came to this pub before once.. with bf and.. and then looked at me nervously and said, oh, um, it was a work thing. So lots of his friends met Helen. I wonder how he feels about this? I worry how I compare in company a little, but at least I know everyone is thrilled we are back together.. but my main worry is still s*x. I worry how I compare there!
I really am feeling quite insecure about this and he is still a bit reticent. We both seem to have a bit of a problem in this area and it feels like the hardest thing of all to broach with him.
I want to be able to post something useful, some answers, but quite honestly, its just like a new R, all exciting and lots of touching (constant!) and kissing. We werent even like this the first time around, he was so familiar to me when we got together. But now, after such a long break and perhaps the not seeing him much at all for 6 months.. its just like we have rediscovered each other. It really is like a honeymoon period. But, we havent talked about anything, not our old R, our split, why he then got close to me again but ditched me for Helen. Nothing about why he behaved the way he did. Sorry guys!
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