easyer said then done. if you had a family member going down to tx now, with the flooding and the swine flu. you would be worried. my W is family to me. I know she does not want to be and thats fine. but I will always consider her a a part of me. heck even if my 3rd " your a dead beat bum" cousin was on the way down there now i would be worried. belive me the pain of the loss of her is less. but the wanting her to be safe isent.
I wouldn't be saying that if I hadn't let go of someone dear to my heart. Things can happen anywhere, no one has their life 100% guaranteed, you can pray for her to be safe but then you have to leave it in God's hands.
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
The STBX called me today and asked if I wanted to get ice-cream before she moves out of state for 13 weeks. For once I didn’t say yes at the drop of the hat. I told her my days off are Tuesday through Thursday of next week. She told me she had softball on Tuesday and volleyball on Wednesday and didn’t want to miss them as this would be her last time seeing her team. I kind of chuckled at that. She kept saying she had nothing to to tomorrow, but I have court ( Im a cop) at noon and then I work 3-11. I am working a 12 hour 11-11 today. I told her I would sleep in until I had to get up for court.
She had drawn me as a guy who took her for granted for the last year and a half. It kind of kills me being coy, as Im afraid she will just take it as a sigh I’m “ not any different” I know she’s leaving no matter what for at least 13 weeks. I know we will be divorced no matter what I do now. I know shes missing me a little to ask me out for ice cream. I know I will have a hard time never loving her….or even trusting her again. I know I’m stronger then when we were married, and I know I owe her thanks for that.
I whish she was different to my thoughts. I have tried so damn hard to detach..do DB. I failed on a lot of accounts. BUT I never stopped being kind or sweet or just plain better. I never stopped showing her silently I was LISTENING. I just whished she did. I whish she truly looked at me I whish she saw the man who asked her out over a decade ago. I whish I was the person everyone else compliments in her eyes
But I’m not. That has to be ok. I have to learn to enjoy the others in my life. I thought this would get easier but its not. I will go to ice cream and sit across from her and look her in the eye. I will NOT cry or say I love you. I will be charming. I will be better. And at the end of that day I will get the hug she gives me, and lock it away. And then I guess its all done.
i deleted her phone number today. it was the hardest thing i have ever done. as I was getting ready for work, the movie bicentenial man with robin williams came on. I thought it would be a cool sci-fi flick. but instead it tells a story about love. nice. the tears come less every day...but they still come.
it's a long road to recovery, but do knwo that you are heading to a new life, you will do good))))) I try to find funny movies now, dramas are no good. Prayers your way Marcum.
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
I was born in Beaumont, TX.. and googled it. Though it was whacked pretty hard by hurricanes, there's no reports of swine flu cases.
Your spouse is making choices, trying different things all of which are out of your control. Losing her job is a consequence of her actions. It's odd.. I found, that in my case, pining away for my spouse during the divorce proceedings was a form of pursuing. Worrying, projecting concerns does nothing positive for you.
You can do whatever you want, be in whatever state that is right for you. You're not alone, you're a caring guy, you have lots of great qualities. Sometimes I think the best way to get a spouse back is if you're the one who leaves. If they want the relationship they move heaven and earth.. if not.. well, that says something.
As much as you're hurting.. it's not all about her.. it's about you, the choices you make, what you're willing to accept, what your boundaries are to stay healthy in your mind, body and spirit. Try forming a very simple statement of how you feel, where you're at... and compare it to where you want to be.
