Yeah, there doesn't seem to be black and white in relationships. They are constantly changing and all different. All of my long term, successfully married friends seem to just roll with the punches. They are unhappy about something they both work together to fix it. Not run away from it. Divorce is not an option.
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
I realized part of my problem is...It's all these bombs that I'm never ready or expect, I know that's why they're bombs...First one two years ago, next 1.5 years ago, 1 year ago, six months ago, three weeks ago finally one week ago, but then everything goes back to the way it was prebomb...Maybe this one is the final one but she sure isn't acting like it is.
Me:40 W: 39 T: 17 years M: 15 years S-9 D-6 D final 11/10/2009
"We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as insoluble problems."
Had a GREAT weekend with the kids just dropped them off with the W. Great weather all weekend sux today but oh well. Was supposed to play golf but the rain has put that off but I am going to a cookout later today.
One thing I was thinking about this weekend. I really think all the "delays" by my W is because when she brings up the D she doesn't get the reaction from me she expects. I think she expects no contact by me and me being cold to her, when she doesn't get that she doesn't know what to do...Just a thought.
Me:40 W: 39 T: 17 years M: 15 years S-9 D-6 D final 11/10/2009
"We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as insoluble problems."
Glad you had a fun weekend with kids. They always make it more enjoyable.
See what this week brings.
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
Stay steady, keep putting one foot in front of the other toward what you want.
I just wish I knew what that was it seems to change almost daily. For some reason yesterday and so far today I want it over. I almost called her last night to see where she was with the paperwork...I didn't but I'm almost at the point of just doing it myself and filing.
Me:40 W: 39 T: 17 years M: 15 years S-9 D-6 D final 11/10/2009
"We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as insoluble problems."
Do something else when you get those knee jerk reactions. I regret so much acting on impulse. If you are feeling antsy that is understandable as you have been separated a long time with no resolution either way. Maybe in your own mind give yourself a deadline and reevaluate then. If things are on the right track then just let it be, if not then maybe think about what you want for your future. You have been apart for almost 2 years.
Hope you have a good day!
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
Start with you are HERE = that says what you hope for = a reconciliation. Things need to progress in that direction = over on my post I posted goals and progress. I was taught to do that when I first arrived here so that I could tell to what was happening, what worked and what didn't work. Seemed simple, but it helps me to stay on track.
There have been many times that I wanted to quit and move forward because I was tired, frustrated, or angry. It didn't matter the reason, but my father had a saying that I live by = he said that nothing is a mistake if you learn from it. It helps me to not feel so useless or having wasted time.
Give the goals another try, list what has changed during your S and what needs to grow/heal. My best guess about the "bombs" is that either the communication is missing or there is some other disconnect between you and your W. Anyway, you can be consistent even if she isn't. From my experience, going with the changeableness of moods or motives doesn't work.
What do you lose if you try? What do you lose if you don't try?
I'm in sort of a "funk" today, didn't get to talk with my k's last night. Whenever in-laws are into my communications with k's goes why down, not on purpose or anything, it just does. I will get to see my k's tomorrow night my D is "graduating" from kindergarten and they're putting on a play so that will be fun.
I'm still trying to decide if I just want to tell W lets just get this over with if it's gonna happen it's gonna happen...One funny/strange thing I've noticed is my W is actually asking me about my day what I'm doing ect...The reason I say that is because for the longest time she NEVER inquired about what I was doing EVER.
Kassie as for a list of goals I have no idea what they are right now, but I will give it some thought./
Me:40 W: 39 T: 17 years M: 15 years S-9 D-6 D final 11/10/2009
"We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as insoluble problems."
