It was almost time to leave for dinner and she asked where we were going. I told her "to a restaurant" she said she is not changing, and I told her no need to it's not fancy. There is an India restaurant and the Chinese restaurant right next to each other. When we got there She said "well we are either having Indian food or Chinese. I said Chinese. She then said. “I was kind of hoping to go to the blue(something) restaurant but this is OK.” Now David C. has said that when women do this they want US to make a decision. They want us to be the alpha male. SO I told her we will go here and next Saturday we can go there. She said “Saturday son gets back from camp and he will not want to go anywhere.” So I left it at that... So when we got inside she said "the food smells great" And we sat down. Usually in the past we decide together what we are going to get. But this time when I sat down I said "I never have had hot sake, I am going to order some. I then asked "will you have some? she said "I have had it before but it has been a long time, I will have a sip of yours." So she then picked something from the menu and said. "OK Now you pick something" OK here again she is testing my decisiveness. NORMALLY I would have said. " I really don't care go ahead and pick something" but not this time I picked a dish. So when they brought the sake out the waitress asked if we wanted two cups or one. Wife spoke up and said TWO.. So her sip turned into splitting half the bottle... During dinner she asked a little about how my work was going and then started telling me how she was upset last night and could not sleep because of who won the dancing with the stars show. Now I do not watch this stuff but I listened. she went on and on. Very talkative..Another thing that I am working on is that David C. has said that allot of time when women come to you with their problems they really don't want you to "fix" them. They just want you to hear them. (Unless they come right out and say can you fix this) so I have been "listening" allot. I have watched her struggle with somethings and have kept my mouth shut.but she knows I am there and if she needed my help all she had to do was ask..( I did ask a few times saying "Do you need any help" instead of just saying "give it here I'll do it" and she said No thank you I can do it. Anyway back to dinner. so we really had a good time. After dinner wife has been excited about a new store that had opened up and I have not been to. So I said lets go by there and you can show me around. So we went and it was like she was showing me a new house or something. Throughout the tour I did put my arm around her a few times and rubbed her back... So when we got home and pulled into the garage. I pulled her to me and gave her a kiss. I then said that was not a good kiss and gave her anther. she then said " the high beams are on" so I rubbed her breast and she laughed and said what are you doing? I said "you said the high beams are on" she laughed and said "the cars high beams you are wacko" and got out of the car laughing. By the time I got into the house she was on the phone talking to her sister about dancing with the stars. SOOOO No there was no Mad passionate sex but....... A year ago when I mentioned something about getting a look at her breast she had a fit. So got so pissed if she had a club she would have hit me with it. THIS TIME I TOUCHED IT….
I did not pout that she did not jump at my advancement and instead went in to talk to her sister. I just went about my business the rest of the night. BUT... something new did accrue. Since she had moved out if our room she has been getting ready for bed (washing her face, brushing her teeth) in the hall bathroom. LAST night she did this in our bathroom. My plan now is to take her to the restaurant she suggested this Friday and see how much farther I can go without getting rejected. I know that OT thinks I should just jump her bones. But part of wife's problems are that she is afraid if we did so "something" I would get all clinging again. She has been “avoiding” sending any wrong signals.From what I have been reading it is kind of like a dance at this point. She willingly went to dinner with me (maybe to see if I would talk R or not and I did not so she was ok with that) when we got home I "copped a feel" to see is she got pissed again or was receptive and she was. she then when into the house to see If I would pursue her and I did not. She then came into OUR bathroom and got ready for bed (with the door shut) . and I still acted like I was ok with it and I was not expecting anything. So I think if I can keep up the little sexual jokes and here and there contact I will be building up some "tension" in wife and hopefully Friday she and I will cut loose.
Doc
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
To be honest I was a little disapointed last night but the more I thought about it this morning the positives came out.. I have more to tell but I can't right now. I am at work and NOBODY did my work while I was gone yesterday so I have alot of catch up. I wonder what they are going to do when I am gone in 21 more days
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
To be honest I was a little disapointed last night but the more I thought about it this morning the positives came out..
Doc, FWIW - back in the olden days, one of the most UNattractive things I was guilt of, was getting disappointed and down and pouty whenever W would turn down my attempts at intimacy. This didn't improve my chances for "next time". Don't be That Guy - you are doing great, keep up the good work and the optimistic attitude!
Thread #10 22 year M, MLC, Piecing since 1/07 Goal: Live with confidence & enthusiasm!
To be honest I was a little disapointed last night but the more I thought about it this morning the positives came out..
Doc, FWIW - back in the olden days, one of the most UNattractive things I was guilt of, was getting disappointed and down and pouty whenever W would turn down my attempts at intimacy. This didn't improve my chances for "next time". Don't be That Guy - you are doing great, keep up the good work and the optimistic attitude!
Rob buddy.. I know that is why I was in my room by myself when it did come over me. NOT around wife...
more later Doc
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
Ok So here is a little more about the other night. I few days ago Wife noticed the mesh bag with the Rubber ducky’s hanging in the garage and asked where they came from. (Remember our date with the candles and bubble bath?). It was not really the right time to tell her so I just said I will tell you someday. There is a story behind them. So on the way to dinner I told her about how when we were going to stay at the time share and how I was going early and then after she arrived and after dinner I was going to come home to stay with son and meet up with her again in the morning? Well I told her my plan was after dinner to draw up a bubble bath and light some candles and leave the rubber ducky’s in the tub.. Give her a kiss and say see ya in the morning. She smiled. Now I don't know if it is just me or if any other guys out there feel the same way... but my wife has a way of comunicating non verbaly when she is annouyed or pissed off at me. She showed no signs of either. Like I said in the past she would have been at the least annoyed that I have not given up on us.. So today she tells me that she is having her Mom over for diner this Friday. I said "Oh Man" she asked "what?" I said I was thinking that since this was the last night that we were parents without kids that we could go to that restaurant that you were talking about. She said "we have spent enough money for now going out" So I just let it go... So now I am thinking that tonight (Friday) when she gets back from taking her mom home I need to have a plan to seduce her...Something easy going and not pressured. Maybe suggest to her a card game of strip poker?..
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
Well wife’s moods have been a hit and miss. But.. They have been a hit and miss of Happy and playful to indifferent. So not too many "bad moods" lately. But back to your question.. Whenever MIL comes over her and Wife have a drink before diner and usually wine with diner. Now don't get me wrong. Wife will not be Drunk but I do think this will put her into a better mood..
D
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
