See, men are like stamps, you spit on them and they get stuck... Ha ha, LOL!!
I am so sorry about your back, you didnt need that now, that's for sure!!! I hope you woke up feeling a bit better today, I havent checked on FB, need to post pictures of my things also. I will this weekend... xxxx K
I almost never initiate any contact with my H anymore, and guess what? He now calls me at least 2-3 times a day.
The back thing is worrisome-- I hope there are no lasting effects. I hope you are treating it very gently. A lady I work with just injured hers, and the doc put her on 10 days bed rest. Take care.
Hey Rob.. yes, perhaps thats it then.. I finally made him DO something by making him curious about me! I just knew it was the right thing to do to not ring back (someone said to not be so available ALL the time, K was that you? Jody too). Andabelle, seems you are STILL doing that ?? Wow, well I will keep it up then!
Like today. Last night he asked me to email him, then said, or just phone me at work (wow, would have been the first time I had done so since Sep 2007!) but I did neither.. so sure enough, he emailed me at 5 to say he hoped my back was ok and he was out in an area of bad reception tonight so probably wouldnt call, but would tommorow.. AND.. he put a KISS on the end !! My third since he left me. First on the reply when I emailed to say I knew about Helen, 2nd on his NYEve text reply and now today. I was really excited!
Thanks K...my back is very bad! Andabelle.. take it easy?? Ha, today I had to use an orbital sander, belt sander, hammer, bansaw, hand saw, drills, lifted wood that is a metre long and 1/2 inch thick, moved tables, carried loads to my car, lifted boxes on and off workbenches and bent metal by hand in a mangle...
I feel like sh*t!! My sculptures are coming together but I was in the workshop for 10 hours...and at one point I was in so much pain, my friend marched me to A&E (no waiting time, phew)!! Its just muscular and soft tissue damage though they think. they said I SHOULD go home, but I was ok to carry on if I had to...
See, Princess! The fruits of your labor are starting to ripen.
You don't hate DBing, b/c you can now see why you need to do it. It is more about creating attraction at this point, so keep it up.
Too much contact initiated by you will make you out to be needy - which is NOT sexy or attractive at all.
So, what have you done instead? Resisted temptation and trusted the situation. The result? The hunter has now become the hunted!
Keep him working a bit more. Tease here and there, but don't let him get you too quickly. This is his turn to do all the pursuing and chasing. You've done your hard work.
Now you get to sit back and enjoy this a little bit.
Keep in mind how things have shaped up for you when you've been able to fight temptation and trust yourself.
Well, don't think he will be doing that much hunting RTL,
Ali said she was seeing him Saturday and spending the night!
Maybe the bad back might be a blessing in disguise-lol sorry Ali, hope bruising is getting better. I think just about everyone has said don't be so available and walah! keep it up it is obviously working.
Hey guys.. You are so right Rob!! I didnt think of it that way, but I am feeling a tad pursued right now.
Naej.. you keep making comments about me and staying over/sex! Whats that, disapproval? I've been celibate since he left me! My Mum was funny.. she said perhaps you should have ML to him!!! Ahh, well she has been M 42 years, so she knows how to keep a man interested (uhh, lets not think about it). I have decided to go, have fun, lots of laughs, stay over then leave early. I'm going to get some snuggles in first. We stayed overnight several times last summer and everyone was excited for me.. well, he kept his back to me each time then. Last week, he was an octopus, arms and legs around me and kissing my face. Lovely! I dont imagine any harm will be done by me 'crashing' there for the night.. he invited me afterall.
I realised something today. Its rare for people to get a 2nd chance here.. but he wants back without other factors, like.. M, religion or children. He came back just for me. Wow, that makes me feel special.
Ali, Not sure why I get singled out but just to recap, I actually suggested not sleeping over once on this thread as did: Istherehope, Jeff also said not to stay over, Simon said,take it really really really slowly and don't put it on a plate for him, Refuse TL, also said hang back let him wriggle and mentioned about x turning into the hunter when he is not pursued(which was why I made the comment about him not having much time to be the hunter. So all the men seem to have said the same as me. Plus DB coach Jody. I am not judging anyone, we each have our own moral codes of conduct. I do have two sons and I know what they say about girls and what their friends say about girls who offer it up on a plate.
Your situation is your situation and you will deal with it as you see fit. Strange that Jodies advice was the best thing since sliced bread when it agrees with you yet not when she tells you otherwise, but you know best, this is your x.
I don't recall you posting about you staying over several times last summer,I thought you didn't know where he lived. My mistake. That would have been when he was with Helen I take it. Anyway,I probably should have let the post go,in DB style so I will just shut up. I do agree that it is rare to get a 2nd chance so I wish you well with it.
All situations are so different, yet so the same to a large extent, no one size fits all solutions, only the person (s) involved know how to handle it. We (other posters) can only give opinions,advice,help and support.A few like BND have had X's return, most of us have not. Bottom line is it is your choice. Hope the back is better btw.
Naej - you deserve a medal for tolerating the disrespect here as long as you have.
You are a saint for hanging in on this thread as the clear voice of reason all this time.
I think we grow in our own time and until we are ready we can't hear the message - in order to learn the lessons - no matter how clearly it's presented.
You gave it a good shot. V
V
Never make someone a priority, who makes you an option.
WalkingBack, sorry, where did that come from? Disrespect? Towards naej? I had to go back and reread to see if I missed something. The only thing I found was naej's comments about morals and I realised why Ali felt she had to respond... K
Btw, in case you dont know, I consider naej my friend and I always thought the girls have a special way of communicating. I guess not.
Wow..thats pretty strong and unnecessary? Neaj.. Maria is right. You made a comment earlier about self resepct which I felt was rather personal. Also does anyone remember posting to Maria that way? NO... everyone encouraged her, nagged her even to be intimate with her H when he came back. I am not a child, I am nearly 40 years old, as Maria is. I dont see why my sitch is different to hers back then.
Virginia.. I have no idea what you are talking about, I have grown tremendously in the past 2 years, with 15 months of weekly C. I have learnt my lessons, changed at a core level and won my ex back along the way, which is the point of DBing is it not? I would hope people would be happy for me instead of this negativity.
