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[judyc]

hi stuck,

Yes, we have had contact since S, meeting for dinner, etc. Says he still has feelings for me, doesn't rule out reconciliation, blah, blah, blah. We both cried when he told me he was moving out. He has issues that I don't want to get into here, but I believe he met OW on a "special interest" forum. (He has been open to me about his "special interest", but I was close-minded about it)

I have not confronted him about this yet.

Sucks.

[pearlharbr]

Don't confront him yet. Take the time to figure out what you want to get out of the conversation. Also, it would be best if you knew beforehand how you want to handle the affair. You have two basic options: wait it out or actively bust it. There are examples here of people who have gone both routes. I recommend you think about it now because the mindset required for each is very different.

I'm so sorry you have this added issue to deal with. Many of us know the pain you are in first hand. Go ahead and vent here when you're ready, you will find support.

[judyc]

Saw H last week, did not confront, just hinted a bit. I decided that we are separated, so what he does is his business as what I do is mine.

Went to dinner and shared some very intimate feelings, something that we had never done before. One of the things I have learned about myself, is that I have never been able to share my feelings, and this has prevented me from having healthy personal relationships with both friends and H. We also had R talk, mostly about issues from the past that led to the present, and he said he is really glad to have these talks. Not what DB says to do, but for my sitch, it seems to be the right thing. Still don't know how things are going to end up.

When we parted for the evening, we had a very long embrace and we kissed on the lips - something we had not done in a long time! And he said, "I'll see you next week". Little does he know that I have plans every night this week...

Although I still am underneath a blanket of sadness, I am feeling really good about myself.

[judyc]

Spent Memorial Day weekend with a friend in another state. I really connected with her, something we hadn't done in a long time. They just moved to this city a few years ago and she is having a difficult time making friends. She is a stay at home mom, and 2 kids are out of the house, the third is in high school. She is really having issues with lonliness as she has no social network, and her H works long hours.

She told me something that really made me think. When they first moved to this new city, it was during the summer, and she took her son to see his new school. He plays soccer, so the principal (or whoever) said soccer practice starts Friday. So, on that Friday two years ago, she took her 14 y/o boy, who was new and had not yet met anyone, to soccer, he got out of the car, walked to the group of boys none of which he had ever met, shook hands with the first boy he approached, and said "Hi I'm Josh, I'm new here." And, he was accepted into this new group of friends.

What strength and courage Josh has. Amazing what we can all learn from each other, regardless of age.

[orchid01]

Hi Judy, I just wanted to say the story about Josh really hit home with me.....I am moving to a totally new state & I will remember his courage when I am confronted with a group of new people. Been having a very difficult day. Thank you for sharing that story. I hope it week has been enjoyable! Sounds like u are totally busy!

[judyc]

Haven't been around in awhile, just trying to keep busy. Getting involved with things, reconnecting with friends, signed up for a yoga class, joined an arts and crafts club, joined a wine club, and the ultimate GAL....

WENT SKYDIVING!!! Yes, on Saturday. It was awesome! I am a pilot, so being in the air is not new to me, but jumping out of a plane is!! I had the jump videoed and have sent a link to the video to alot of my friends, who also happen to be H's friends (we are both involved in aviation). Imagine his surprise when he hears, "hey your wife sent me a video of her skydive..."

Slowly trying to move my feelings of anger to the back burner. Still is hard to get used to being alone. Seeing couples all around me (they are EVERYWHERE!!!) makes me feel sad.

[traveldane]

Hi Judy,

wanted to thank you for your awesome posts and for the story about Josh. Like orchid, I am moving to a new city and working on DBing from a distance, and one of my biggest anxieties right now is having to meet new people on top of everything else. So thanks for sharing that, I appreicate it.

Keep on, we can do it :-)

[kara]

Yep, seeing couples is the worst. But we don't know how many of them have problems in the privacy on their home. I comfort myself with that thought.Cynical perhaps, but...

I was really angry at H today. But it doesn't hurt to be fueled by anger for a short while. Just don't let it fester.

Your skydiving sounds awesome! I bet that will make him look at you in a new light. You seem to be doing great with your GALing. Keep it up!

[pearlharbr]

Wow, skydiving! And I thought I was being adventurous at GAL...you take the cake!

Anger is healthy, it's all in how you deal with it. Just don't let it control you.

Hope living in the hotel is working out ok while the house is being repaired.

[judyc]

Thanks, Pearl, and everyone!

I am a pilot and flight instructor (but scared to ride motorcycles and snow ski!), so I am no stranger to being in the air... The reason I went skydiving was because I had always wondered what it would be like to skydive, but, more importantly to PROVE to myself that I not only could do it, but WOULD I do it. While skydiving might not be for everyone, I encourage you all to try something you were always a bit reticent to do for whatever reason. Whether it's jumping out of a plane, or jumping off the high dive at the pool (another thing I was always scared to do). (of course don't do anything dangerous or reckless). The experience is invaluable! You will feel like a million bucks!