Keep Moving Forward

[whatisis]

Thanks for the update, Being Me! Keep on keepin' on

[BeingMe]

I posted on WCW's thread about knowing how she feels about not regaining sex before menopause and knowing now how it feels to lose that plus the energy for sex, before my H finally wants it. I also don't want sex, I want intimacy, making love, not just having sex. I feel frustrated at times, being in this situation, that things weren't quite settled in our M before I got sick, but not much I can do about that either. H is doing the best he can, I guess. I think he is totally unaware of my needs ... probably thinks there are none except to fight for my health. It seems almost silly for me to be discussing things like 'sex' at a time like this, but it would be so nice to just have 'intimate speek' ... you know, talk about when I'm healthy and what we would do, how much we love each other and romantic stuff like that.

'Eh, I have another battle to fight in the war of life. I try not to concern myself too much with "what ifs" and just take each day as it comes. I am finding out that there truly is so much for which to be thankful/grateful. Romance and intimacy is a small part of life (although, a bigger part in a M). It helps to journal it here, and then try and forget about the hole in my M which H is unaware is there or chooses to look away.

Take care everyone and Happy Mother's Day to all the moms out there.

[ACJ]

BM,
I just found your thread and read all your news. I'm so sorry to hear about the cancer. You are such a figher. I have to admit that I no longer pray but you will definately be in my thoughts.
Take care of yourself

[BeingMe]

Thanks ACJ. I truly appreciate your thinking of me. I just got some flowers for Mother's Day, from my D28. Awesome surprise!

[Phoenix_spark]

You are in my thoughts too. Many people I know are both fighting for life, family and marriage. Recently I had the opportunity to share the DB/DR book with two different people, one has been working hard on their sitch, the other is trying to decide if they want to work their way out of a MLC. It's hard to hold my tongue when I am hearing the thought of bagging a M due to a MLC. I about want to come through the phone at them.

Had to check on you dear friend. Keep up the good fight, we'll check on you again soon. No applying some of those fireworks coming up in a week or two under your H. Not good form!

[BeingMe]

Thank you so much for checking in on me, Phoenix. Although, I do enjoy our IM's now and then. You really are such a good friend --- at a time like this, I sure do know who those are.

[Phoenix_spark]

Nothing profound to say, just bump.

[BeingMe]

Thanks for the bump, Phoenix! Not much to report on the marital front ---- same ol', same ol'.

[whatisis]

Happy Canada Day, Being Me! Thinking of ya and still praying for ya.

[BeingMe]

Belated Happy 4th of July, Phoenix and all my American friends. My D29 just became a U.S. citizen.

So, not much change here except the ongoing cancer treatment. Taking it one day at a time.

Oh, wait! H actually kissed me in a very romantic way last night. Not sure what that meant. Could this be the micro crack in the ice?

D16 is at a 6 week camp so H and I are going camping alone this weekend. Usually, if there is one or more of the kids with us, then they are a distraction from our having to communicate or interact on a big level, and I am not as big a chatterbox as I used to be. So it's going to be interesting being on our own, camping (he did, however, ask if I wanted to invite a friend ---- sheesh). At home, he works, and I sit on the computer with my own stuff, watch tv, or nap if I'm tired, so not much going on there. We bought a little motorboat, so that will be fun to go out on the water with our dog.

Hope to report something interesting after the weekend, folks!