I think it depends on the situation. i think sending an email with a link to the website can be a good way to ask. She might take a few minutes to click on the link and give it some thought. Or you could print a few pages of the website, especially the ones about the 4 stages of marriage and send it as a regular letter. That way the pages are in her hands, and she is more likely to give them a look.
Hmmm, that's a good suggestion. I hadn't thought of going "old school" and sending an actual letter. I think that may be the ticket, send it to her office, type out the envelope so she doesn't recognize my handwriting on it and immediately get her wall up. Thanks Sara!
So my S25 has been kicked out by his GF37. He has anger management issues, and she is a divorced mother of 2 and is not taking sh** from another man. Good for her! He does get to go see her on occasion, but she is demanding real change from him. He went to see a counselor this week, and he said it was helpful. But he wouldn't tell me anything about the session, or even if he is going back. I recommended that they go to Retrouvaille, that they could learn a lot from the weekend. He wouldn't consider it. So odd, he was here in the house the weekend my H and I went to Retrouvaille. He has seen the difference in us. But still, at this point, that knee-jerk reaction. Nope, rather wallow in my slop than take a chance on changing myself.
Took me a long time to find this thread. for one thing, I forgot that it was in piecing. I spend more time in Newcomers and Infidelity so I was looking there.
Anyway, 25 years MLC, my story is written out pretty fully here with a lot of info on what it's like to go to Retrouvaille. I can't imagine trying to piece after a serious event like an affair without it. They insisted on the forgiving and the trusting, without waiting for the feelings to just come. And they were completely right.
S25 is doing OK. GF let him back in the house, so I guess he is exhibiting improved behavior around her. I wish it extended into my house too. D24 is building a townhouse in Abita. Should be done in August. After that, we'll have a place to stay when we visit N.O.
oooh, I love Abita... we're still considering settling there-- we just love the Brew Pub!~ see ya there, lol.
Financially things have just imploded. I still don't even have the phone situation taken care of. If D24 needs any building advice, I know an amazing builder. I guess the good news is that in the past we let financial problems screw us up and are working really well together this time around. In a weird way we are all getting closer.
I had worried that when S17 (omg, I can't believe he's graduated) goes to Parris Island later this season that he'd be bummed out (he missed a lot of time with him while going nuts in NOLA) and even worried about being "stuck" with me. He's actually really excited about it.
Lots of tests and a community phone that has to be totally transparent probably had a lot to do with the ease with which the trust has been restored... but I know you remember my insecurity in the beginning during hurricane season, and I must conclude it was just time.
taking dance classes this summer from s17's gf's dad.
I had to stay away for a while, but I've been reading along in newcomers for a few. Had to say hi and update you.
TO: Sara, I am sorry to go on this thread as I dont even know what it is about. but... I was googling the Retrouvaille in Tampa and found some old threads of yours on this retreat... I am trying to coordinate going in August, and have loads of questions. such as Location, time frames etc. I started the pre-registration on tuesday but have not heard back. My husband is in another state and I am in another florida city. He has asked for a divorce but has agreed to go to the weekend. Needless to say I am very anxious to know if there is even an opening and if so, what time it starts and ends, so that I can buy his plane tickets to come. To assume I am a basket case would be correct smile any information you can give to me would be greatly appreicated..
You can find locations and dates of upcoming Retrouvaille weekends on their website, www.helpourmarriage.org.
I am located in Tampa and volunteer to help that group. There are several other chapters in Florida. It does take a while to hear back from them as everyone is a volunteer and they fit the Retrouvaille work into their lives. They will call you. I don't know what dates you are looking at, but if it is not coming up in the next 2 weeks, they are probably not booked up yet. I know the Tampa group tries to accomodate everyone who registers.
Feel free to ask questions, I'll do my best to answer them.
miss ya sweetie. we are better than ever (macy too).
I guess the good news is that in the past we let financial problems screw us up and are working really well together this time around. In a weird way we are all getting closer.