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Well, I'm pissed off today. Didn't hear anything from xBF yesterday. Called around 10 pm his time (he's out of town for work) and no answer. Do I really think he's out cheating? No. But only because he's out of town and I don't think he brought xOW with him.

He did email this morning saying that he played in a poker tournament at a local casino.

This is a bad habit that cannot be started. I need more communication from him, not less. And he needs to communicate to me who/what/when/where beforehand, not the following day.

So I stewed about it for most of the day wondering if I should bring it up now via email or wait until we can talk over the phone or in person. I opted for email to get it off my chest now. Said I was upset with his lack of communication and explained that not knowing where he is and not being in contact leads me to think he is hiding something from me. Also said we need to put a transparency plan in place as soon as possible but we can discuss it when he has time. Ended the email with some chat so the entire message wasn't angry.


If you love somebody, set them free.
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Good for you Pearl, but I wonder, does he even know what a transparency plan is?


Me 56
H 47
Married 21 years
No children
Bomb & moved out 4/07 "My feelings have changed" & "I want to live by myself".
Ow Bomb 8/07
H filed 6/08
D final 2/05/10




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Probably not. Because he hasn't done any reading or anything else to improve himself or the relationship. Another thing I'm not happy about. So either he will Google it or ask me what it is. Or he'll just be angry that I'm upset. Who knows.

Coincidentally the counselor we saw before emailed me today to check in. Another thing he hasn't done yet, set up counseling.

I'm just in a pissy mood today. Hopefully I will have calmed down by the time I talk to xBF.


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Hi Pearl,

Glad I found you - lots of movement in your sitch. Let us know when you talk to xbf.


Me - 45
D - 19
D - 17
S - 14
S - 13



Final - 1/15
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Hi davidswife, thanks for following me over here!

xBF emailed late last night when he got back from baseball game. Started with chat about the game, then asked if I'm around this weekend to "get together and talk about a plan to put in place." Went on to tell me his plans for tonight.

So I replied that I'll be around Sunday and that I appreciate him checking in. We exchanged a few more messages about the baseball team and that was it.

I'm still struggling with knowing how much I should expect him to do on his own. I don't want to have to be a nag or mother telling him what to do. I don't want him unless he really wants to be with me. Otherwise it's not good for either one of us.


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Pearl,

I think you just need to CHILL, and let him come to you. He's probably feeling like he can't win with you right now, at least that's what's coming thru in your posts. Like you're just DARING him to fail or something.

Not a criticism -- just an observation, and a suggestion.

Puppy

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An accurate observation Puppy. I'm just antsy. I feel like I've been in limbo for so long that now that we've made a decision we should both be acting on it and moving forward.

Will take a chill pill, or in my case, a glass of wine. \:D


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Pearl,

What was that Washington State (affordable!) one you recommended to me before? I think it was Columbia Crest something-or-other, and I tried a cheap one of theirs a couple of weeks ago (just for you!), but didn't like it at all, and went right back to my Aussie stuff.

Trying to keep an open mind,

Puppy

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Columbia Crest. Skip the Two Vines, that's the cheapest stuff. Try the Grand Estates or Horse Heaven Hills (H3). The Reserve tier is great but on the spendy side. I don't drink Chard so I can't speak to that, but the merlot is great IMHO and the cab is pretty good. Haven't had the syrah in a while so I don't really remember it.

If you're interested in organic (cheap) wine, try Snoqualmie "Naked" wines. They're better for riesling and gewurztraminer.


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I'll give it a try -- thanks Pearl!

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