As far as the getaway is concerned....do it. I know in one of your posts you said dbing is pretty much over....sometimes I wonder if this is not the time to DB...especially the GAL part. Anyhow, hope you have a nice weekend and I can't wait for summer to get up here when i hear about the lovely weather in Athens.
Summer is almost here. The weather is perfect. Not very hot yet but sunny and clear.
H didnt call me today so I did in the afternoon. The minute he answered, he said his day was crap. I asked why and he said :first I read your emails, then my BiL told me he and my sister have big problems and then a couple that we have baptised their girl, separated last week. Here that kind of connection is the strongest one you can h ave besides family. God parents are the kid's pripary guardians if -God forbid- something happens to the parents. They are a couple that although are very good friends of his family, have really supported me all along. We are seeing the guy tomorrow.
Then H said "but enought, lets talk about us, not about others...". LOL!!! It was funny. I was out window shopping with my cousin and there was noise and I asked what he meant. He said "our news". It was so obvious he was responding to my emails. I said he read my emails yesterday so not all happened today and he said that he only checked his account today!!! That's how interested he was into finding out what I sent him...Incredible!!
Anyway, I think we will be talking tomorrow. I am planning to at least. I have no reason to be afraid. What can happen? We divorce? LOL!!!
Have a good Easter everyone. Take care of yourselves. xxxx K
mish, I just realised that none of my FiL's "kids", our generation meaning his children and nephews/nieces have good marriages. His son and his D are in trouble and both niece and nephew are divorced. His nephew married an American he met on the internet, moved to US, had 2 girls with her and now H told me they divorced and he moved to Veags, miles away from his kids... Something is really funny with the family... K
You guys keep telling me to be happy with ...nothing.
I hope that isn't what you've taken away from my posts. I'm not saying you should settle for anything.
On the contrary, what I've been saying is H is slowly working on himself and his issues and until he is able to unlock the key to why he feels he needs to work so much, he won't be there for you.
My thought is it is up to you as to whether or not you are willing to wait for him to figure this part of his life out. If so, it will be long and bumpy. If you are tired of waiting, not only can no one blame you, but it would still be H's decision not to focus on your M.
You've done a lot of work and have had tremendous patience. Now the question becomes are you done or not? I think you are slowly starting to discover this answer.
I only wish I could do something to get your H to "speed up" his process, but that just isn't possible and we all know it.
NEVER SETTLE for anything less than you deserve. None of us should be doing this. EVER!
Hey k... thanks for answering.. its much clearer now! I think sometimes, you arent completely explicit when you post about H as you are too fed up with him/tired!.. so it leaves gaps and it may come across like you didnt ask him anything.. but clearly yuo are.. so .. I agree with Lisa... and I do think you should put yourself first and do things for yuo (yes GAL and visit friends) and go your own way.. and if he notices and misses yuo and FINALLY chooses to follow and find you and make the effort, then great! Same for all of us hey.
Thats sad about the family R's.. I have the opposite amongst friends, all our peers are STILL together
So tommorow you talk??? I hope that goes ok... I am seeing ex tommorow too I think. Venus is abuot the retrograde back into Pisces on Sunday... supposed to bring a past lover back, especially for us Pisceans! Dont know what that, or anything means anymore !!!
Glad to see you still putting up a fight, but I see some ineffective thinking/moves ...
"I asked H if we could meet today to go shopping ... There is absolutely NO connection ..." Shopping to him is like "electronic devices" to you, so ... your expectations may indeed be be unrealistic here and may lead you to think negatively.
"why dont WE go Friday after I finish together? ... I will make my own schedule and probably leave Thursday" No! IMO you need to grab hold of any common ground!
"It sucks to be him \:\) ." Please don't think along these lines; it breeds contempt which is very bad for marriage!
"When he left I called and asked him if he had seen my emails, he said no, he would check his account when at the office. That was 6 hours ago and still no message or call." Again try not to let your expectations get in the way ...
"My dad looked as if he had just gotten pardon from the governor of Texas." Yes, they are pretty hard-nosed about sending people to the gallows there tho' they claim to be pro-life. Good to hear about your dad, he seems like such a kindly old gentleman.
"... the more selfish I become, the "smaller" he looks." Not sure I fully understand this ... but be careful how you "think" as often "feelings" follow.
Among the ton of books I've read over the last 2 years, there's one I remember that deals with this sore point called "settling" by Joshua Coleman: http://www.drjoshuacoleman.com/books.html
Hi guys, fb2 I will reply to you probably tomorrow, from work...
H stayed here last night. We met with the guy of the couple that split up last week. Interesting convo. For both me and H. Anyway, we had a "quiet eveining", watched a movie and slept as far away from each other as possible.
Today, we had a 30 minute convo. Basically I said a few things and he was stuck to "me wanting him to quit one job". When I said that isnt going to do us any good if we dont connect and that he would end up resenting me he agreed. He said he has nothing to add, he will not accept blame for me feeling angry or sad and when I asked he said all he wants from me is to be calm and not to "yell" at him. When I asked when do I yell he said I did once regarding something ridiculous and when I said I wasnt yelling at him, I was just excited about what we wre talking about, he didnt accept that. He is not happy the way things are but he has no suggestions. The only thing he could think of was him moving back home. When I said if we go on like this I will very soon get bitter he said that is my problem.
I talked again abo ut Fridays, making love, feeling wanted, compliments, priorities etc etc. He said that the fact we dont see each other or make love arent proofs that he doesnt love me. He said I am not clear about what I want. When I said there is no other way to tell him, that I have used details, he agreed.
One thing he said and made me think, was, that he doesnt feel passionate about anything. He never has an dthinks he never will. It's just his character. So, I got a bit nervous because that doesnt sound very attractive to me. He said, no matter what I believe he is not passionate about work either.
We talked more. He said all this anger from me he cant accept. It's my problem. That I think a lot about the past. I explained that now I get angry about the present. Because I want to for example, laugh,go to theater plays, concerts, travel, enjoy life and we are not doing that. He said these things he doesnt like...
I may post some tomorrow because right now, I am distracted. K
Ohh, and he said, he never thought there was a possibility of me falling in love and moving away for example. I almost laughed, but I didnt...
