When all you got is hurt / One love / One blood

[mishka422]

Yes, but it holds too much connection for you doesn't it? It seems to be the catalyst for your current frame of mind.

[MichelleLT]

Hmmm not so much the backpack itself, but going on the trip.

That was always supposed to be our trip.

When we started dating, he had a packing list for Ireland in his notebook. And then it changed to "we'll" go.

And we never did. Because when I started planning the trip, he started drifting away.

And now he claims he never wanted to go, that it was always my dream.

[mishka422]

Ahhh....I see. So, you made the trip because you wanted to or because it was the fulfillment of a joint dream?

[MichelleLT]

I finished planning the trip because I wanted to go.

But I found myself sitting on the plane with R going "this isn't how it was supposed to work out"

Regardless, it was a great trip, and R is a lot of fun, and I have no regrets about going or inviting R to go.

It just is making me think.

[MsMelancoly]

Hey Michelle, Much of your letter & feelings I can relate to. I guess with each step forward there are times when those raging feelings come back.

What is your 1st goal?? To get taxes done, done D or send the letter?

Personally, it seems that your H is standing at the edge of a ledge right now.

[MichelleLT]

Taxes obviously since those have to be done by the 15th.

But I can wait

[LolaL]

Paralegal for hire...

[AliSuddenly]

Well, seeing as you still have so many unanswered questions.. maybe thats what yuo need for closure? If he cant meet yuo, or wont, or cant or wont answer.. then maybe then would be a time for a 'goodbye I'm doing fine without you' letter?

So what have you got to lose? How about asking him to meet to just talk about things so that you can draw a line under it and proceed with the D and wish him well?? Then make sure you ask the questions yuo need to ask, in a safe, non confrontational way and see what he says?

I am in the same frame of mind.. I am ok by myself, doing fine,lots of freinds, hobbies, plans, dreams still, but.. so many unanswered questions.

Al xxx

[MichelleLT]

Sent another e-mail this AM. About the taxes.

Didn't mention the D papers....or anything else.

Sent it to all 3 e-mail addys I have for him. Last e-mail I only sent to his work one.

[MsMelancoly]

Men with depression are terrible with paperwork - aren't they?!?

Hope he replies to you soon