Wondering how to handle things

[kissak]

Thank you Jack...I have really been wondering how to word that. He does need to be prepared that I am going to think he is lying at times even when he isnt.

Trust is the hardest thing to get back and I feel like I do give it too freely.

[kissak]

LOL, tell him if its not a hickey, then it would be ok if you put on on the other side to match since its not like someone else would notice.

Funny

[mishka422]

I'm in agreement with Jack kissak. My inclination would have been to just let it go, but then again, I'm not trying to restore my M so there you have it!

I hope you have a pleasant evening.

[kissak]

Thanks Mishka...but i think my H is really going to have to feel like he has lost me, because he just about has. I dont know if I can keep putting up with his lying. Only more of it has come tonight. I can put up with alot, but all the lying is just really getting to me. I dont understand it. I dont know what to do.

[mishka422]

Unfortunately, IMO, the only thing you can do is decide if you are able to let the lies flow off your back or not. Personally, I couldn't do it anymore and when I called xh on the carpet for them and showed him that I wasn't willing to accept his BS anymore, that is when the crap really hit the fan. I hope you can find a more diplomatic way to stand up to him than I did. I'm afraid that once they start lying, it's nearly impossible for them to stop. The lies become reality to them and they can't differentiate between their fantasy world and the real world anymore.

I pray you find peace and understanding enough to let it all go for your own health and wellbeing.

Take care of you and your adorable kids.

[kissak]

Well Mishka, I dont think I can do it anymore and I did call my H out on it last night, of course he denied it, said he didnt lie, but in fact last night he met with a female last night and had dinner with her, but told me he was just gonna ride and find something to eat. I told him I was tired of him lying to me or actually not telling me all the truth and making me think he wanted to come back. Im just tired of it all, and i have the biggest headache this morning over it all.

I dont understand it, I wanna tell him to just come home, but then again, I dont want him here. I think it is just from months and years of wanting him home, its like I want to win the fight. But then again, I dont know that once I won, that I would actually want him.

I didnt text him back for a while last night and he said "i guess youve stopped talking to me, thats ok alot of people have".

I found out he quit EMS/fire...again on Monday. How can he say he is so much better off now than when we were married. He had it all, and now has nothing, not even his friends.

[Jack_Three_Beans]

"i guess youve stopped talking to me, thats ok alot of people have".

When you want me to talk with you (not to you) then you'll let me know when you are completely honest. I deserve it.

You want him back, but you want him back living within your boundaries...it is the only way it works...or you'll be back here all over again.

[kissak]

I agree with you Jack.

I do deserve honesty. I am honest as I can be with him.

[Jack_Three_Beans]

He is the one sniffing around Kis.

You know you don't need him, just want him, and even that is tarnishing with his behaviour.

All or nothing.

You are so much better than you were when you first got here, and even then you deserved honesty...so that being the case...what does the kissak who has grown so much in that time deserve?

And can she enforce and get it even if that means it doesn't come from him are you capable of standing up for your self esteem?







I think you can.

[Jack_Three_Beans]

PS stop agreeing with me guys or at least saying it outloud...it makes me think you want to sell me something. : )