I've Come Full Circle 25: All grown up

[whatdidido]

That's right. At least one of you is thinking of the children.

One of my friends, that I talk about often on here...she was the egf to me....She is now divorced (twice), and was living with the OM. Every day is a saga all about herself, never worrying about her kids. The OM left them, but she just called saying she is going to pick him up from the airport. She wanted to know if I could watch her kids. I'm so sick of her having other people take care of her kids when she has them. I feel so bad for them. She has them every other week, and most of the time takes them to the gym so she can work out. She has all day off, but chooses to work out when they come home from school/daycare. It's just pathetic.

Sorry for the hijack. She just called me and I'm just so sick of this behavior from so-called parents.

[whatdidido]

Well, I just reread what I wrote and I realize that I am judging someone. I have no right to do that. The things I did were no better than what she is doing now, just different. I need to be better.

[karen43]

Wdid, I don't think you should be so critical of yourself. It's natural to see someone that sounds like they're maybe so self-absorbed that the kids aren't getting proper care or attention. Maybe you shouldn't help her out by watching them for her if it's not truly an emergency (like illness or something)? She may find someone else, but you don't have to help her with that kind of behavior.

[karen43]

If he had really ever thought before he acted maybe none of this would have come to pass. Can't change that, just have to move forward from here.

kat

Exactly. If our WAS were the kind that thought we would still be married!!! Karen

[kat727]

Ok so this was a semi-productive day. I had my main water shutoff in the house replaced. It had dripped a whole pan full of water since Wednesday when my dishwasher was replaced. Only $357. They had to replace quite a bit of pipe too. I think that is alot but a whole lot less if that had burst and then I would have had another flood on my hands!

Next is the car.

kat

[gForce]

I have to tell you, kat, that the dynamic between you, XH, OW and the kids sounds exactly like the dynamic betwee my XW D15 and current W. You comments to him were exactly what XW said to me when I started dating W. It has given me a lot to think about. Mostly about how I could have handled things differently and whether that would have changed how D15 feels about W.

[kat727]

Maybe it sounds different coming from someone else. I really don't want the kids to lose their Dad even if he is trying to be the "good times" guy. He has enough problems. I don't want to get in the middle of these things. I so want him out of my life, I feel like a kid having a temper tantrum.

G I hope you are able to keep building those relationships back up. Your daughter is older now maybe time for a heart to heart and explain that you didn't "see" what this all may have done to her.

kat

[karen43]

I so want him out of my life, I feel like a kid having a temper tantrum.


kat

I can so relate to this kat! This is going to be over and our life is going to be sweet, don't you think? We can compare notes on our new, hot bf's. Hi, G, I love to see you around!!! Karen

[kat727]

You are such an optimist, just what I need when I am not so sure. I am kind of leery about tonight. He wants the kids to spend the night, the two middle ones don't want to. I don't know how that will go over. I just don't want him to try to guilt them into it. Supposedly this past week end, she wasn't around when they were, so we shall see if he really listened or not.

I really need some peace and happiness to be thrown on me like a bucket of water. Anyone have some extra laying around?

kat

[karen43]

That's tough. On one hand I think they should see their dad and try to work things out, but on the other if OW is around all the time and they don't want to be around her, that's a good point too. I'm an optimist sometimes or try to be, but sometimes its hard when we get dragged down by others maybe. Hopefully with time that will happen less and less though. Karen