I've got another question. I had rehearsal the other night in my H's town (he moved 40 minutes away from our house/town). So I let H know I could drop off D9 in his town so he just had a 5 minute drive and I had a 35 minute drive since I was there. He usually picks them up at our house (2 x a week). He wants to start meeting in the middle now, so I guess 20 minutes per way. I'm thinking with my rehearsal and work schedule and volunteer work and moving poss. that will be almost impossible for me to do, while he just works 40 hours a week. What's your opinion on this? If I didn't have all this going on, then it might be fair, but I'm leaning towards no. Opinions on this??? Oh, H emailed and forgot to drop off the check, so will drop off tomorrow night. Karen
Refresh my memory: isn't your husband IN this other town to begin with to be closer to OW? If that's the case, then I wouldn't agree to meet him halfway.
Yes, OW lives in that town. His job is in that town too. I was thinking like tomorrow I have 45 minutes b/w my volunteer job at the food bank to go to rehearsal from 7 to 10, so I would miss dinner and change clothes time I want. I'm at least not going to do it tomorrow and will tell him that I can't.
So I emailed I don't have the time to meet him halfway Tuesday. Here's his email back: that's why i think the taking all the way and picking up all the way works better. i could pick them up Tuesday and you could pick them up Sunday unless you have to work then i could drop them off.
i still want to be flexible just even it out some. So I guess twice a week he wants me to drop off and pick up the kids the 70-80 minute drive. What do I do if he refuses to return the kids on Sunday? I have Bible class and I really just don't want to!!! I'm probably going to be moving and packing up this week also. Busy with all the stuff I'm doing, the new job, rehearsals, I'm already stressed about all the stuff in my life, and he wants to add in a couple hours of driving to his apt. and back!
The L thinks it's fine for me to drop off & pick up at H's apt. half the time. I have NO desire to do that. I'm thinking about meeting him halfway then b/w his place and mine. He's going to be vacationing again most of the week, at least this time with the kids, so I don't feel sorry for him!!! OK how about this for my reply: I'm fine with meeting you halfway time permitting. I can either meet you halfway on Sunday b/w 1 and 5 (let me know what time and where) or you can drop them off at the house anytime. Any suggestions or changes on that?
YOu could always let him know that you have a very tight schedule as it is. I know you probably won't say this but you could let him know that since this is all his doing, he is the only one that should be inconvienced.
I haven't been to ex's rental and have no desire to. He tries to tell me how much better than our/my house is but the kids say everything is old there and it isn't nice at all. I make him do all the coming and going since none of us wanted this situation. But I know you are a lot nicer than me.
Was today your first day on the job? How did it go? I hope you enjoyed it!
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
I filled out my paperwork and got drug tested, and they ran my driving record. I start Wed am officially doorhangering or whatever they call it. Putting the advertising on doors around here. So next time you're irritated remember it could be some person like me that really needs the job!!!
OK, so H emails me: think your missing part of my point. it would be half way if we did it coming and going. if i do all the driving there and then halfway sunday it means 3/4 me 1/4 you. i dont mind doing extra when you have conflicts but i have done hundreds of trips. so my draft email back to him is:
I agree. I will try to do all the halfway trips meeting at whatever those places are, as my schedule allows. I got involved in the Sound of Music before I found out and got the job. Remember how busy it is to be in the play? I'm also probably going to have to move in the next week or 2. I don't have much time or money and can't give more than I am right now. I'm spending 40 hours or so on homeschooling, the kids, the kids' activities, errands, meals, volunteer work, add in the job (16-20 hours) and the play and I'm already doing all I can. The job and play are temporary (although I'm hoping I will get a permanent job soon also), so maybe after the move things will get better hopefully. I actually find I like being busy, but not this busy!!! I don't know if you can tell in my email, but I feel like I have comethisclose to snapping and telling H what I think of him the last couple days!!! Any suggestions or ideas or what do you think? Karen
I would stop the email where you say you can't give more right now. He already knows all the stuff you do and if not he will probably take it as you complaining rather than explaining.
Did you talk to the mortgage company? Any hope of getting to stay in your house? I know you are going crazy right now but things will become more routine soon. Take a deep breath and keep on going!
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Do you think I should send it and stop where you suggest or not send it all? It might just start crap, but I also do need to know when/where he's going to drop off the kids I guess? He's such a major jerk!!!
I need to call the mortgage company and will try to today. (We're waiting for a call from S15's teacher now for an oral exam or I'd do it now). Don't think it will work out, but at least I'll have tried.
Karen