Ian, I am so glad for T. Her mother should be kicking herself in the a$$ for what she has done, and it seems like it finally sunk in. Keep doing all that you do...
Ian, I am glad your x made a move. And I can understand your fears very well. I often worry what will be my kids' R with their dad if we divorce and they grow up and understand what happened. I hope I will be "in a good place" and strong enough to NOT blame him.
It was inevitable. They do 'wake up' and look at the damage. Mine just recently admitted in passing that she has made many mistakes the past 3 years. This was not solicited by me and I didn't ask for her to elaborate. It's like the proverbial light bulb came on. It took 3 years, but it happened to my amazement just the same.
Give her time to open up to T. There's no need for you to understand her method or pace at which she does it. She has her pride to grapple with now. Do your best to facilitate it, but don't push it.
"It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare." -Mark Twain
Do you have any idea how fricken hard it is every single night knowing that right now I am all Tawny has. Do you know how many times I sit and cry because I am fully aware that I cannot be everything my daughter needs.
My kids see their dad every week, they are with him physically, but they get all their emotional nourishment from me. S10's C told me that since stbx' mind is mush right now I'm all they have, I'm the reliable parent who will nurture them and give them all the love I can. But to make sure I recharged and also have a support system, to take care of myself.
My parents D when I was 10, I lived with my father, i saw my mom 2x a year, on my bday and on summer vacations. My father was never one to give affection, his love language was to work his tail off, a single father of 3 at the time. I did miss my mom but I got used to how things had to be. I think your d has an awesome dad who understand about emotional needs-- ok, so you can't talk about nails and clothes with her, but you give her what matters most: your love and time, which is what she really needs. Don't you sell yourself short.
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
Not a whole lot sunshine.... I will post tomorrow and get everyone caught up on the latest bout of insanity that what's her name (STBX) pulled this last week. I just don't feel like talking about it today so y'all will have to wait till tomorrow.
One quick note, for those of you in the alternative world, I will be posting the info for the Memphis In May Music festival in the next few days so keep your eyes open.
