Frank, I'm glad you had such a great trip with your kids. They will remember it for a long time and it's good that you are making new memories with them.
It's also good that you reassure your children that you would never keep them from their mother. You may have to say that over and over since you are dealing with her instability. She is incapable of seeing how her behavior affects her children. Maybe someday she will, but not now. Keep on the straight path. You will be fine.
And, yes, your children do love you.
Welcome back!
Spitty
Always do right. This will gratify some people, and astonish the rest. Mark Twain
Hi Kerry..funny...I was just trying to catch up on your sitch.
To Spitty....it is a tough tightrope to maintain reality/expectations/manipulation/ and fairness to the kids.
I think it is ridiculous to think that, when we are divorced, that she is going to call me 3-4X a day over the weekend. Her tone is nasty and intrusive.
Trust me..if my W had called me and left a message....being kind...saying she was sorry she missed our call...that she doesn't want to intrude on the vacay but misses them...I would go OUT of my way for her.
She doesn't. As we all post here...this is a boundary for me. Strong arm nasty messages won't go anywhere near as far as respect and kindness.
I checked out the resort...Sheraton, Nassau Beach...looks great. The kids should have a great time.
So..I am alone now for 4 days. I skied pretty well. Only fell twice in 5 days of skiing. Not bad. I kept to the blue squares. I need to stay 'unbroken' for now. Conditions were good. Lines were short. I wasn't sore. Not bad for 50.
Now...all I have to do is find a woman that wants to share a little lovin' for 40 more years.
Half a century. I did OK.
FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
Gratz to you and the kids on such a great trip FIB.
Do a good job over this next week modeling for your wife proper parental behavior when the other spouse has the kids.
Because you're absolutely right, your kids KNOW you love them. And, I might add, you KNOW they love you.
I don't think I've ever called either of the boys when they were with their Mom. Of course mine are older than yours, but the principle is that this is their time with Mom. They know you're still around, and if they get to missing you HOPEFULLY your wife won't play games with letting them call you.
And if she does, grit your teeth because there's probably little to be gained by trying to do anything about it.
Your hope is that if you can continue to maintain the high road in your dealings with her, perhaps time and distance will enable her to one day reach the point where she can behave like a proper parent/adult too.
And happy birthday my friend. I'm not that far behind you.
We're just getting better...believe it!
Blessings,
Bill
"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon."
She doesn't. As we all post here...this is a boundary for me. Strong arm nasty messages won't go anywhere near as far as respect and kindness.
Code to live by my friend, from anyone not just our delusional spouses. It's the old do unto others philosophy in reverse. Dog training 101, reward the good behaviors.
Quote:
Now...all I have to do is find a woman that wants to share a little lovin' for 40 more years.
And not one of us has any doubt that you will Frank, when the time is right.......
Glad you had that much needed alone time with your kids bud. Now enjoy the silence........\
what everyone else said...and you are right, you have done just fine for half a century. Not too sore? Excellent. Impressive. And yes, you'll be a model of behavior for your w to see how to act when the other parent has the kids. Try really hard not to get hurt this weekend if she prevents them from calling or doesn't remind them to call. I actually think she'll rise to the occasion but who knows?
Glad you didn't break. I'm so glad your son chose skiing over snowboarding b/c of my son's snowboarding injury...yes I'd love to learn to board, but just can't afford the mandatory 4956 falls and with skiing, I avoid most of them. So, anyhow, your kids love you and you love them...enough said.
((( j )))
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
"yes I'd love to learn to board, but just can't afford the mandatory 4956 falls and with skiing, I avoid most of them."
LOL!!! I resemble that remark. ;>) Broke three ribs a few years ago snowboarding (which I just learned to do in my late 40's). Still, I enjoy it more than skiing (but I never was a very good skier either; didn't start that until I was 35).
FIB, enjoy your birthday, think of it as a rebirth - where will you go from here????
Hey my friend. So glad you have a great time with your kids. You are making wonderful memories. I have some great ones with my dad.
And Happy Birthday! Mine is next year. I have no doubt that when you are ready you will find someone who appreciates the man you are.
And just think of what you will bring to that relationship. All the things you learned about yourself on this journey. And what you will and wont tolerate in a relationship. You will be way ahead of the game next time around.
Something tells me your w wont ask the kids if they want to call you. And stuff like that is going to bite her in the a** one day. Whoops, my Brooklyn just came out.
