Sorry TL that you got teary eyed too with a song. Yes that happens to me too. Memories at times just come flooding in.
SC when h and I bought our wedding bands the clerk at the jewelry store said if the couple trades up on their wedding jewelry it always ends in a D and they trade up to another spouse. At the time we just laughed and said well there is no reason to trade up our jewelry it was perfect for us. Well was perfect for us or still for me.
PH thanks for your insight, I hope that my h is close to home. Only God knows.
H was here today. Didn't see him much. I am back on sunday nights at work. He left the place so nice and clean. Did the kids laundry, baths, and tucked them to bed.
Oh I did ask him today if he was ever coming home. He said do you want me to come home with all my ranting. I said yes h we will work through your rants with C. That is where it ended. At least he said something else this time. Usually he says something like don't know, working on it, I can't get past the anger. At least this sounded a bit more positive.
H will be over tomorrow afternoon.
Me 50 H 42 S 22 S 9 D 7 M 12 T 17 H moved out 8/2006 H moved home 1/2007 for 3 weeks H moved home 5/2011 for good
"Learn from yesterday ~ Live for today ~ And hope for tomorrow"
Well life is taking a turn for the worse. H and I both will be out of jobs by the end of March. H got the news today. Oh well, we will both just dust ourselves off and look for work. At least we can collect unemployment for awhile. It won't be the first time we were both out of work together.
For some reason I am more at peace about it. I can't control it, so why stress. Just not sure what the future holds for either one of us.
H was really stressed today with the news. I don't blame him. He is going to start looking for work right away. I have sent a few resumes out. He helped around the house with the kids and said that it what he needs to do. He also said something about coming back later after the kids went to bed, but then when he left he didn't mention that again and I didn't ask. Not sure what that was about. He has never done that nor said that. He was so stressed and down when he left I am sure he forgot what he said earlier.
Oh well life forges on. Only God is going to see us through this.
Me 50 H 42 S 22 S 9 D 7 M 12 T 17 H moved out 8/2006 H moved home 1/2007 for 3 weeks H moved home 5/2011 for good
"Learn from yesterday ~ Live for today ~ And hope for tomorrow"
More weirdness. H shows up at 4am today. Says his internet wasn't working. I would like to think we are more to him than just an internet connection. He gos into our office and works.
I do have to say it was nice to have some help with the morning routine. H hasn't been over in the am to help in 3 years.
I did make some comments that were not so loving, but voicing my inner feelings. Not sure what h said, but I said well you can always move back in. His response baby steps. Then I had another response about h not living at home. H was not pleased with my comments and said something like kick a man when he is down. Now that was not what I was doing. You would think my h could see that this gets old and he could try to understand where I am at in all of this.
The whole R feels like having a boyfriend that can't commit or won't commit. You know like you want to get m and the guy doesn't.
I am the type that says forget baby steps, if you have to baby step into something then maybe it isn't worth it. I don't think I ever baby stepped into anything. Either you want to or you don't.
I was crying on my way to work today. I don't want to be some stupid woman waiting for a guy that can't commit. Help!
Me 50 H 42 S 22 S 9 D 7 M 12 T 17 H moved out 8/2006 H moved home 1/2007 for 3 weeks H moved home 5/2011 for good
"Learn from yesterday ~ Live for today ~ And hope for tomorrow"
I am so sorry about your jobs. Hopefully, you both will find something else soon.
Quote:
H was not pleased with my comments and said something like kick a man when he is down.
I heard that before!!!
I can relate to how you feel. All I can say is be patient. I guess like all MLCers your H still does not know what he wants. On top of this he is probably frightened that once he commits he might fall into the same old habits and problems.
glam- I am so sorry to hear about you and your H's jobs. I am sure that has to put more strain on you and just adds to the list of reasons why you want and need your H to come home...but that being said, and I know you have heard this a billion times but, this isn't about what you want or need. Your H is giving you what he can right now. He is broken and he is trying in his own way to fix himself. There is no way to know how long this will take so this is going to take an infinite amount of patience from you. All along on this board I have read that you do not want a MLCer home until they are ready...I think I finally get that and you don't want your H to come home only to leave again. I think I am getting closer to being able to accept that things will just happen at their own pace and trying to force it might only prolong things. Since you have small children, you just had the transition of your S20 moving out and now with your employment situation, you have every reason to be anxious and want resolution. However, if you want your M, you are going to have to dig down even deeper to find more patience and understanding.
I have heard that statisically children do better in a single parent household than in a step-parent situation. Wouldn't it be the best thing for your kids to have their father home even if it takes awhile longer???
It does sound like your H is making more positive comments to you. Appreciate the little steps as much you can and try to take the focus off of where your H is living at the moment.
Glam, Sorry to hear about your job situation and that you are upset with your H not coming home yet. It's hard that this is taking so much longer than you want. At the same time, he probably won't take well to you pushing him. This ordeal does teach us many things, one of them is patience which I think you have been learning and exercising. Your patience will pay off, maybe sooner tahn you think.
I really think he's stopping by at 4am is a good thing. Mybe it'll get him even more used to staying overnight. Maybe the internet going down forces him to come over and stay overnight, and maybe he'll get used to it as a result.
