It's Complicated! Part 4

[kissak]

Hey Glamgirl....I think all you can really do is continue to be patient.

[plentyhope]

I guess I will just continue to be kind and love unconditionally. What else can I do?

Glam, This is all you can do, and yet this is very powerful. More powerful than you think. Consistency is key, and is what I am learning. Snodderly is right about him needing to revisit the past and close the doors one at a time. This is the Acceptance stage in MLC - which is the last stage. There is hope. Keep being the wondeful loving wife you are. He needs to see that you are for real - in being loving. And he even implied that he needed you to want him, not just "a man" in your life. Hugs to you.

[glamgirl]

Thank Kissak and PH.

Well well well. H called on my way to work ealier today. He said Glam I am very sorry for my nasty behavior last night. He thanked me for listening. Said he realizes he has issues to work out.

He said he was off kilter, hadn't taken his meds for 3 days. Oh my gosh, you think.

We talked for awhile and asked what I was making for dinner this evening. He said he would be here around 7pm.

Ok I will take it. He is genuinely apologetic.

[dl443322]

Well G, good for him for apologizing. He really is trying to sort things out, I think.

Keep being patient and kind. I think he is turning a corner. At least I hope so.

You are doing great!

[dl443322]

Well G, good for him for apologizing. He really is trying to sort things out, I think.

Keep being patient and kind. I think he is turning a corner. At least I hope so.

You are doing great!

[Silent Chrleader]

Hey, Glam!!!

Geez, talk about a tempest in a teapot!

But, I think you did great! And my gut told me immediately that this was the death throes of the alien that has inhabited his body for the last several years!

Hang in there, and just keep being you!!

[[[[[[hugs]]]]]]

[Dawn of Hope]

Hi, Glam,
I am sorry to hear that he was in alien mode again. Sounds like you handled it just beautifully, though, even if it was hard to resist the urge to defend yourself or counterattack. Hopefully the group wisdom here is correct and this is just the death throes of his MLC and he is close to becoming a person who can think clearly again.

I am so tired that I am not even going to post an overdue update on my own thread before I toddle off to bed, but I just wanted to quickly comment on this:

He said he was off kilter, hadn't taken his meds for 3 days. Oh my gosh, you think.

There is NO DOUBT that in 3 days off of AD's, other people (if not the patient) will notice a worsening of depression symptoms. Six weeks or so to build the blood levels up...three days to drop them precipitately. It's nuts, but they haven't come up with a perfect AD yet.


Will catch up with you tomorrow.

Peace,
Dawn
Peace,
Dawn

[plentyhope]

Glam, It's awesome that he apologized! That is huge. Not easy for him especially since he wants to be right. Hang in there, girl.

[glamgirl]

Thanks everyone. H asked me to pick up more meds for him, I didn't realize that he was out and then when he told me he hadn't taken them for 3 days, then his so called alien attack made sense to me.

I am sure it all came back to him in some sort of depressed way. SC I love the alien analogy. That was exactly how it felt. Thinking back at times he even seemed comical, like h are you serious.

Next time, if there is a next, what makes me think there won't be, I am just going to smile and nod. Not even get into anything, now that would be a 180 for me. Even though I think I handled myself well, when he is like that I think I should have just listened offered no comments and said see you tomorrow h.

It's so hard though when you see the perspective off base or that you have worked so hard to repair the past damage and then what we are at square 1 again.

My s7 said this evening why doesn't dad sleep here mom? I want him to sleep here! I feel bad for my kids, they see this and it breaks my heart. I hope they feel it's nothing they have done. When the kids ask my h, he doesn't really give them an answer.

I talked to h early in the morning. He called to say goodmorning. He said he wasn't feeling well, not sure what that meant. He also said he wasn't sure how much time he could spend with us this weekend. I suggested he work on friday evening and the come over afternoon on Saturday. H was hesitant and said he might need to work all day on Saturday. I just said h you decide. He said he would come over on Friday evening.

I called him Thur evening to update him on something and no answer, nor did he call back. I just want this all to end. I don't like living alone, now that s20 has moved out.

The hard part for me is if h has so much pent up anger towards me, how can he find his way back home? What is going to make a difference?

[Truelove]

Hi glamgirl,

Thanks for your post on my thread. I wish you a nice week-end. (((HUGS)))