All quiet on the western front last night. Will meet with my IC on Sunday. Told her I want to discuss her continued provocations and methods to deal with it until we split.
FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
that's a nice focussed topic. The more specifics you can get on that, the better. You def don't want to blow it now with an overreaction (which would be totally understandable....) so the best thing to do is the prep work you are doing...
And how's GAL going? Any bagpipes lately?
((( j )))
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
My GAL: 1) coaching my daughter's girl's lacrosse team on Sundays, K, 1 and 2 2) ordered a new set of reeds for my Dhuan fireside bagpipes Fireside pipes (mine only have 2 drones) 3) continued exercising 4) coaching baseball in spring 5) working with my hands again..several wood projects with my son
FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
My L called me at around 4:30 today. My STBXW threatened me with going to court on Monday if I didn't curtail MY vacation by one day. I told her my plans way in advance and then she rushed to book her Bahamas vacation the day after I was coming back.
Their argument was that a snowstorm could delay her departure. Sure....I couldn't understand it either but my L told me it was court on Monday and fees or 'don't nitpick, turn the kid's passports over to them and agree to leave on Wed (I was coming back on Thurs;she departs on Fri.)
There you have it. Torture.
FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
I just don't know what to say to help you b/c I am so bugged and I am not you! I'm not living there and yet I want to scream at her, wth is wrong here??
What possible goal@#$%^& what??? I don't get it. Go to court and ask a rational judge to explain how YOU coming back EARLY makes HER departure snow proof...I mean WTH??!!!@#$%^&* There, I said it!
I'm baffled. I'm flummoxed. I'm bewildered. I'm perplexed....(and I have no thesaurus around so I'm done). Oh, I'm also really angry at her. She is really getting so pathological and I'm so sorry you have to deal with this.
Maybe it'd be more helpful to you if I said to just shrug it off and have a blast with the kids and do NOT let her see the anger in you. (Call your sisters, they must be fuming...) You know, what else can you do?
You can go to court and you will. Let the L talk and let the judge see your w's "maternal" issues. Maybe it won't go her way....Her anger at you reminds me of my my former sil I told you about. I wanted to maintain a R with my nieces after my brother's divorce.
But when I would visit them, my xsil would tell me, in front of the kids, how much she "hated" my brother, their DAD. I felt I was actually worsening things. At one point I told her it's important to kids to know they are loved by both parents (no matter how flawed a spouse may feel the other is) and not to bad mouth the other or make it harder than it already is, and that this loving concern for the children, must never ever be outweighed by anger at the spouse. But it was.
Here, too, Your w's anger right now is the thing that is getting the most energy from her in her life. Even if the kids really mean the most to her, her anger is what she is fueling, not her maternal love. Shame on her. Good luck Monday, seriously... (( HUGS ))
((( j )))
Last edited by 25yearsmlc; 02/07/0903:16 AM.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
Not for nothing Fib, but I would probably have my lawyer respond and let her know if you must go to court then so be it and that you can address the issue of her taking the kids out of country on her vacation and maybe that's not such a great idea. You have to call her on some of this bullshit. I mean when she is bitchin at you around the house and being the way she is it is one thing, but when she has her lawyer threaten you with court, call her on it.
I also am confused, and you can answer or not, but you said she made her plans after you announced yours right? So why wouldnt she have to push her trip back a day instead of you cutting yours short?
and doesn't this mean they miss your 50th birthday? She sure looks as if she is doing this to be UNkind.
She's being very mean. And I'm putting that as well as I can. I am SO SORRY FRANK! You deserve better than this.
I'm really baffled legally as Ian is saying too. I know we won't get her "maternal strategy" but legally what are her rights here? She's the one taking the kids farther out (of the country btw and what did the L mean about the passports?) and you planned the trip first so...why not make HER delay it for the kids to rest, and oh btw, your b-day!! (get that in the decree please, birthdays with the parent) AND in case the kids are sick or tired, delay HER Trip so they'll have an extra day to get their immune systems up... Please explain the whole snow delay thing and why it is helped by you returning earlier?...??? Hmmm??? wth?
Frank, I'm going to edit this. I think I am so frustrated with her and your poor little ones being yanked around, that I don't want to make it harder for you to feel peace.. Try to be "the man" you are. Don't let this crazy crazy pathogen infect you with the virus she carries. (Like the metaphor? Just for you).
((( j )))
Last edited by 25yearsmlc; 02/07/0905:22 AM.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
Unless the additional legal fees are a big issue here, I would chime in agreeing that this is one I would probably try to put my foot down on.
Pettiness and rudeness in your daily interactions there is not much you can do about. When she sets out to purposely sabatoge your alone time with the kids, and then threatens you with legal action unless you yield, well I say it's time to say no.
I'm surprised by your lawyer's response. Did you not just have your wife and her lawyer in a court room accusing them of blackmail or intimidation recently? Why would your lawyer be so quick to back down on this one?
I'm sure you can document when you made the arrangements for your trip, and surely they are before the dates on which your wife planned hers. For the life of me I cannot see how a court would tell you to cut your short trip because there might be a snow delay that impacts your wife's trip. Isn't that just a luck of the draw type event?
As I see it, there is nothing for you to lose on this except the cost of arguing it in court. Her behavior couldn't possibly be much worse than it already is.
One last comment that I hope won't offend. I would personally be careful about the number of personal message interactions with available women on your fb page. I'm not sure if it could impact your still pending legal proceedings or not. Not even sure if the women who have written are single women or just family and friends, but given your wife's current state, I wouldn't put anything past her in terms of trying to bring trouble to you.
One thing that I would always be quick to stand firm on is any effort on your wife's part to negatively impact your time with the children. ANY person standing outside your situation would easily see that this is nothing more than vindictiveness on the part of your wife.
Stay strong my friend.
Blessings,
Bill
"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon."
