My what a lovely image to remind me of why I'll never do family law...umm, yes indeed. ( j )
PS...brilliant brilliant to leave those messages! I had a male client play some messages for me from his stbxw, and I swear to God I carried a gun for a month after the hearing... and never got paid extra now that I think of it...but what made me get scared the most was when I imagined a MAN leaving a message like those...and I realized that there are just as many crazy women. Just smaller.Usually.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
I would disagree with the "in front of her face" with the recorder. I understand the deterrent. But frankly(no pun), I think it would just give FIB's W the idea to go out and get her own recorder and record EVERYTHING he says. Then head out to the editing studio and Tada! Here comes the circumstantial evidence.
Now FIB can't even speak about his kids for fear of what it might be turned into. Nope. Keep the recording covert, and definitely check it out through the L. In fact, if the L is that good and it is legal, why didn't she suggest it?? Makes me wonder about the legality of it. Best checked out before using it.
If you have ever spoken with ford..and I have..you would know that he went through a terrible time at one point, like all of us. You would know that he is a warm, funny guy and with a sense of humor (perhaps salty) as Bill described. He is supportive and as many women here have their female supports, ford has been one of my 'givers of strength'.
As Bill said above, ford usually calls it as he sees it...short..brief...humorous...and most times, ON THE MONEY. Was the post crass. Yes. Should he be banned? No.
Now..in order to make clear the line that you don't know a man until you walk in his shoes, Bill was dead on. ford is going through difficult times right now.
Sanction, yes. Ban...no. I respectfully request that he be reinstated.
To others here re: me. Without lying nor trying to make me be Mr. Wonderful, my W has nothing left but to cause pain and anger and start fights everyday. -I leave her alone -I do positive things for her...even cleaned her windshield off the other day. It is returned with acid and rhetoric
As you can see, it seems to have picked up over the last few weeks. I'm not sure why. Am I moving on better? Did she get dumped? Can she see me happy now? Or has SHE moved on and she just wants out and is trying to get me to leave? Dunno.
I'm just tired of her being an emotional drain and there is nothing I can do about except stay strong and keep things moving along.
As for taping it..it is legal in the State of NY. I do it only for my own protection right now. For the first time in a while, I can easily say that my wife has a problem.
FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
FIB, I know it is very difficult with young children in the house, but try to have as little contact with her as possible - texting, phone calls, try not to be in the same room if you dont have to - because your w has let the cuckoo out of the clock.
As far as Ford's post - not a fan of the word he used, but, we are all adults here and I think we can take it. Banning him for it is wrong. Come on already!
I did not see the post, but I have an idea what the C word was and why it is deragatory in the context. Pretty strange word actually. When I was in the Coast Guard we sometimes wore Garrison caps but they were always referred to as "C word caps" or "fore and aft caps".
I was in the Army as a JAG Corps officer female (don't get me started with the nick names we had, but one woman suggested the name of our softball team be the "jagoffs" and never understood why she got outvoted...) And the hat you are referring to, I think is going out the wayside, thank GOD.
Taping her? His L says it's fine but what's confusing to some people is forgetting that fib is not the government and this is not a criminal trial where rules of evidence are the strictest. As for not letting her know, first of all she cannot get an "edited" tape admitted but rather than getting bogged down in the legalities of it, focus on the issue of deterrence, and triggers. What I hear you saying FIB is that you think it would trigger an escalation of some sort on her end, and since we ALL agree she is in her own galaxy now, it makes sense to keep your cards to your chest. (But I would love to see her face if you played some of her craziness out loud for her...Oh, my older sister did that once 40 years ago after my dad had an outburst and she played it out for all of us to hear what we had just heard. My dad was sooo mortified. It deeply troubled him. But she got grounded...so go figure...)
FIB, keep your helmet on and keep ducking. I'd put a happy face here but I'm not sure how. And fwiw, I agree with you about the DB facebook thing. Except for getting in touch with someone privately, which they don't allow here, why do it? Seems risky to me and redundant. Plus I need the privacy this place provides. Am I missing something?
(( j ))
Last edited by 25yearsmlc; 01/31/0902:28 AM.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
Lord knows they've exercised their deleting powers PLENTY of times since I've been on this board.
But don't send someone packing.
Don't suppose there's any chance that Ford's tirade had to do with some crap he might have been dealing with?
Ditto
And... If that is the case Ford can speak with Virginia and clarify it. We need to stop jumping all over these moderators for doing there job and back the hell off. AmyC was banned, she's still here. Others who were banned were invited to communicate about it and chose not to. Let Virginia do her job and quit complaining. I do not see any of you chastising Ford for an outrageous post. I love ford, respect him greatly, his post was ban worthy and when he explains himself I am sure they will be reasonable with him.
Sorry to hijack FIB, just sick and damn tired of tangents every time one of these moderators does what they are supposed to do in their job. It just drives me bonkers.
For you FIB, I really hate that you have to deal with this all the time. I know why, and I understand what you are doing my friend. I just hate that you have to play witness to it and that yoru kids are now being affected. It just isn't right.
Let's do an APPEAL for Ford...or a petition...or blog our protests, or file big fat "briefs", or just sue someone!!!
( j )
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
I cannot escape the bashing. Today, D5 walks out to the bus and holds onto the mailbox gingerly...a lot of snow and ice at the base of the driveway. W walks out to help her get on the bus and returns.
W: (nasty voice) We're the ONLY HOUSE ON THE BLOCK WITH ICE AT THE BASE OF THE DRIVEWAY!!!!!
(translated, you lazy no good for nothing SOB).
I had a lot of reponses that poppped up in my head: -yeah..there IS a lot of ice at our house -get a job, buy some salt and get to work -if you weren't too busy banging little boys in the backseats of cars....
But that's the little boy inside.
He is silenced.
It hurt...because that is something I'm working on....not letting her affect me...but...I said nothing.
FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
